Gratitude, appreciation is for you, not for the other

I have students who fake thankfulness, gratitude… you can hear it. And occasionally they confess.

To me, to hear the fakeness, it indicates their wretchedness.

They think that gratitude, appreciation is social grease… and you give it to look good, to fit in, to obey some social rule, or because the other needs it.

Their knowledge about how reality works is completely missing…

Gratitude, what you are getting, all live in language… have no existence in reality. Without expressing gratitude you got nothing… and of course nothing to be grateful for.

But if you get nothing, ever, then you are wretched. You got nothing… and no joy, no being moved,no nice feelings, no connection with the other… you are an empty shell waiting to be filled.

Every phenomena that exist only in languaging, only when spoken, only when put into words, audible or inaudible, is like this. You don’t say it, it didn’t happen. Good or bad.

Including love, including hate, including offense, including slighting another, respect, and, of course gratitude and appreciation.

I have students who are numb. Numb because what they have is unexpressed grief. Now flow… just holding back the dam… afraid that if they expressed what wasn’t expressed back then, they would lose grip on themselves and go mad. I was one of those people.

It took me an awful long time to slowly release it and become a person who can and will allow both kinds of emotions to just flow… and not block it.

And become happier for it.

As I have said: I have a new coach. I signed up to his print newsletter in the middle of September, after I decided that I wanted to live.

If you want to live, you better put yourself on a growth curve, instead of just surviving: surviving isn’t life… or not really, no matter how many billions only survive.

The price of the newsletter was prohibitive for me, but I said: If I make X amount of money by Saturday, I’ll buy it.

And just saying so I went into action, and I did make that money, and more. I sent my payment. Scared… with fluttering heart.

I didn’t know what to expect, but I had made my commitment. I crossed the Rubicon. The die was cast. Done deal… “events have passed a point of no return”. The commander ordered to burn the ships. (This phrase “Burn The Ships” comes from a historic conquest of history when, in 1519, Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez landed in Mexico on the shores of the Yucatan, with only one objective…seize the great treasures known to be there, hoarded by the Aztecs.)

This type of courage is incredibly inspiring for the courgeous and it’s also very scary. And, as it turned out, it is also incredibly effective.

In these two and a half months I changed. How I write changed. What I do with my writing changed. How I relate to myself and to clients changed.

This morning I sent a short email to this dude, my coach, Ben is his name.

Hello Ben,

I have been itching to tell you the same thing this dude said: the moment I subscribed… I didn’t even receive my first issue, something shifted… in me.

By now other people have noticed too.

I think neediness went away… even though I didn’t even know it was there before. I stand taller, even SIT taller.

I sell something in every article (about 50 a month) (no emails for me) and my income more than doubled since the middle of September.

I changed and my results changed. Thank you for being someone I can model myself after.

The most valuable pieces came in the November issue… the Money Bombs. Priceless. Takes zero time to implement. Zero. Income, fan engagement, believability, attraction factor more than doubled… Fun: 10-fold. Yaay.

Real magic.

thank you so very much.
Sophie

He responded:

Thank you for letting me know.

I wept. It was simple. I felt seen. I felt heard.

I felt that my gratitude expressed AND RECEIVED BY HIM gave me more than what I paid for.

This brings me back to you, and to Thanksgiving.

I also have people in my courses who can express gratitude, who see value in what they are receiving, and they tell me. They are the ones who advance more than others. What was first, the chicken or the egg?

I think expressing gratitude makes what you are grateful for real…

Many can’t see value, and therefore there is nothing to express. They cannot take their eyes off their own needs or neediness long enough to see anything other than what they are focusing.

I liken this to driving your car, afraid that the hood will open. You can’t see the road, you can’t see the light, you can’t see the other vehicles, the pedestrians… you can only see the hood of your car.

One of these people asked me to activate the DNA capacity: appreciation = seeing value, giving value.

There is no value in reality. Value only exists in language

As I said above, there is no value in reality. Value only exists in language… and for this person nothing is valuable.

I could turn on the capacity of seeing value/appreciation for her, but it would turn off on its own accord in 72 hours for no use. Because all the DNA capacities are potentials.

If you are not willing to see beyond your needs, you won’t see value. You’ll see only wrong.

So I suggested that she takes advantage of Thanksgiving, and gives wood to the fireplace before she expects heat…

here is what I wrote:

first start pretending that you are grateful… Thanksgiving is a great opportunity: express gratitude to whomever you have the dinner, gratitude for them, gratitude for the dinner, gratitude for being alive, gratitude for the weather… don’t wait for the activation… otherwise it will never work.

You are, Source says there is a 70% chance, that you are like her… whether you are my student or just read my articles. Why 70%? Muscletest says: 70% of all people cannot see anything to be grateful for. They cannot see value.

And if you are reading this article before Thanksgiving… start doing what I asked my student to do… and start nudging that DNA capacity, asking it to open up. Once it is a little bit open, I can activate it for you.

It is a lot like me paying for the newsletter BEFORE I really had money to pay for it monthly… it was too expensive for me.

Start by giving. and expect nothing in return. If you expect a return, then it’s a trade, and nothing will happen from it.

If your soul correction is stingy, Sharing The Flame, Building Bridges, Circuitry, Silent Partner, Finish What you Start, Removing Hatred… this is doubly, triply important… so do it.

Also, look at what makes you remain in survival mode?

In my experience you sabotage yourself, especially the easiest way: by destroying your health.

Why would you do that, you ask? Because you, on some level, know that you are in the wrong, and you hate yourself… and that hate needs to be expressed somehow.

One of these stingy people got their health measurements this morning.

His numbers are bad. His response was to ask for an updated food list… But

• 1. he didn’t feel blessed that he now knows what’s making him not feel his best
• 2. he didn’t ask what the numbers meant… so he didn’t even look at them as potentially valuable

Even after several emails back and forth, he barely could come to a place where he would ask intelligent questions that could guide him. Why? Because he is a “Finish What You Start”… no guidance is required, requested, or appreciated.

Stinginess makes you stupid… way stupider than your brain would suggest you can be.

The price you pay for your health assessment, by the way, does not include a detailed analysis and suggestions to get well…

This series of articles can be helpful, if you are not intellectually slothful to learn new things. The odds are against you… but you could surprise yourself, you could surprise me.

Get your health measurements… and see what is likely that keeps you stingy, dull, sluggish, unable to focus, or lacking energy, physically. And if you are smart, ask for the short consult I offer as a ride-along when you pay.

Get your health measurementsNo refund on services rendered. If you don’t trust me, don’t order.