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I woke up unhappy.
And you know, when you are unhappy all you can see what doesn’t work. and see it as big, monumental, maybe even tragic.
In my dream I attended a seminar. Lots of things were as I remembered: the people, the teacher, the girl sitting next to me. Only I changed. I got dumber, fatter, and with a whole lot less hair. One dude sitting behind me in the class even remarked me. The teacher called on me and shamed me in front of the class.
In one word: it was terrible.
So this is the mood I woke up in, and, of course, carried it into my morning routine. 1
Now, how do you get out of a mood like that without spoiling your whole day, other people’s mood, your life, because of one lousy dream?
So what would someone do who teaches self-coaching?
Self-coaching is what I teach? Hell yeah. In the Playground the students use principles and the script to self-coach themselves out of anything that is wrong.
Would the script help me here? Maybe. But if I look, something is missing from the script: comparison.
Of course comparison belongs to the “unrealistic and unfulfilled expectations” category, but it is too much to ask of someone already upset to realize that.
So what made me, in the dream and upon awakening, upset, unhappy, grumbling, nothing is good enough, is comparison.
- I compared myself to others.
- I compared the present to the past.
- I compared my results to what I expected.
- I compared what others did to what they should have done… what I expected by some non-existent social rule.
- I compared what I said or not said to some ideal sentence I could have said had I had the courage, or the knowledge to say.
And voila, some major upset and misery.
- Instead of my usual: it is too cold… it is too warm.
- Instead of myusual: yay, I have an exercise class today, I am unhappy about it. I am even projecting that people will hate me, the room will be too cold, I will feel too fat.
I packed on five pounds over the holidays.
What makes ME fat is nuts. High carb content nuts I snack on. Beans. Lentils. All good stuff, they are even on my list, and yet.
I eat too much of them.
I am in the middle of muscletesting food lists for people, and trying to add a few words of caution: too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
I have had students much like me: they would snack on nuts, or some other allowable snack… and eat as much of it as they could while they were doing other things. And get fat, or diabetic, or stupid, or just plain fat and miserable like I feel now.
So here is the rule: Eat normal size meals, and in between meals never exceed one snack the size of a snack. What is the size of a snack? A handful. Your hand. One hand. If it’s a piece of fruit: than it’s a piece of fruit. If it is nuts, it is probably not more than 2 ounces, 50 grams. One snack between meals.
Chain eating, chain coffee drinking, chain tea drinking, chain soda drinking is a sign of an underlying, unhandled, unresolved misery that begs to be resolved.
Like my comparison misery above.
No food list can help you unless you eat and behave like a normal person… if a normal person is OK with themselves and the world.
Most fat people are fat from what they consume between meals. As many as 70% of fat people, especially women, or men who do their work alone and at home. Or while they are cooking, not at the table.
The 30% who get fat from what they eat at the dinner table, are obviously pigging out.
So why would a person whose job is to help you become happy be self-medicating with food?
Let me count the causes… lol.
I think the main reason is environmental. As an empath I have to feel everything people and animals, and even plants. I have to feel what an author felt while they wrote an article or a book. It is too much misery to hold. It all feels as mine. No escape.
And yet, I have had tens of years in my life when I was thin.
In my case, the only way to be thin, get thin again, is to remove what I would snack on from my environment, from my shopping cart before the checkout, from my order when I order delivery. Like I did this morning: removed the peanuts and the almonds. Left the pepitas (pumpkin seeds) in… they have no sweetness at all, so I think I can get away with them.
I have a teacher who says: don’t do hard teaching. Do the hard teaching in your paid programs only.
But at this point in the article, I looked up, and I have written six articles on comparing, comparison, as the source of misery.
I once knew a couple who were reasonably happy, in spite of things that were or weren’t in their relationship. One of their main issues was: the wife didn’t enjoy sex.
So once the man went on a week-long business trip, and in the car on the way to the airport he told his wife: use this time. Find out if you can have pleasure with another man.
The woman took him at his word, and on his husband’s return, in the car-trip back from the airport, he happily informed him that yes, with another man sex is enjoyable.
That was the end of their marriage. A few years later he found a woman who enjoyed sex with him, and left his wife and three children.
She was left alone, and bitter.
She was expecting being given, instead of providing for herself… however you do that… this is not a sex education article, although for a time in my life I was called Doctor Ruth by my friends and clients.
OK, back to our topic: healing your misery so you can get through the day without extensive snacking.
I am offering a 40% discount on my food and supplement list muscletesting service, till Sunday, January 5 midnight.
It is hidden behind a small offer: an offer to test your eating style. If you want to know what you can eat, and how you can, with self-discipline, lose those pesky pounds, get those lists.
But just please know that unless you heal the underlying misery, the results will be shaky… like all the other diets you have ever tried.
I only teach you to self-coach in the Playground. I haven’t been taking on private coaching clients. In my experience that is too much talk, little results. Why? Because the more a client talks the less they do, no matter what area of life the coaching is in.
OK, too much talk… lol
It’s Friday. Click on the link if you want to know what you can eat. Not my good ideas, not my theories, not what medical science says, but what Source says, who is able to see more. All? I don’t know. More.
Source doesn’t relate to the name of a food, it relates’ to the specific food… so if you live in countries where the only affordable salmon you can buy is toxic because of the food they eat: ask me, after you get your list, if that specific salmon is OK to eat. How? email me a picture from the supermarket. Once you get the brands you can trust, you’ll be good to go.
I have been getting my salmon from Aldi. So inexpensive, it must be bad, but Source dares to differ. So just please know that you have my permission to ask these questions. For me it is all in a day’s work. Just don’t be abusive.
OK, here is the link
Go and get your eating style, or more if you like- As I was looking for a suitable picture for this article, I found out that there are a lot of people with morning depression. This article is not about that… but in my educated opinion, if depressed people learned and diligently used self-coaching, they would be not depressed any more… or not as much.
