I speak about this in quora.com
How do you get rid of a desire? You can only suppress a desire for so long. How can I search and destroy the root of the problem?
To begin: the question shows that you have a desire to be desire-less… as far as “bad for you” desires go… very funny.
There are no desires that are good for you.
Desire, at the seed/root level says: I don’t have something that is important to me. I want it in some future.
Desire shows that you are living in a some-day future, and that you are miserable.
The pursuit of anything shows that you are miserable.
But all pursuits are like the carrot on a stick attached to your head. Unattainable. Maybe the goal is attainable, but the desire won’t go away, because the goal: although not expressed verbally, is not about the goal, it is about contentment, safety, joy, happiness… and none of those can come from the outside, all of those come from the inside… you’ll guess right, from looking at what is, without looking into any other paradigm, past or future, and seeing it for what it is, and do that from moment to moment.
There is never any lack in the present moment. Lack is a word of comparison. Lack means “isn’t”.
But, listen up, there is no explicit or implicit “no” in reality. Reality is all yes. If you look at the Manhattan skyline, unless you bring in comparison (i.e. the past) there is no missing Twin Towers. Reality doesn’t care, reality doesn’t know about past.
And when you look at your bank account, it is just a bunch of numbers. It is neither bad nor good. It is what it is. Numbers. And the next moment it will be, you guessed right, numbers.
There was never anything wrong with any number… unless you bring in the future and compare it with that.
Desire, is a not-now phenomenon entirely created by society, entirely created by mind.
Keeps you miserable, no matter what.
Even the desire to be desire-less is a desire leading to misery.
And suppressing actually increases the intensity of desire. the unconscious has 9 times more influence on the quality of your life, on the actions you take, than the conscious.
Desire is bringing the future (or the past) into the present moment. You can bring awareness to it and it will allow you to be in the present moment, be happy, joyful, content, and abundant.
You just need to notice it. Soberly. Don’t make it wrong: it will go underground to wreak havoc.
I hope this is useful.
Yesterday I was training one of my students on a live call… let me know if you want the recording. As an empath I could track where her mind was, what feeling she had: it was like sparring… lol. Fun for me, tough for her.