Everyone wants respect. No one gives respect. But why?

The biggest issue is: no one understands what respect means. Do I respect or disrespect my student I shout at? Do I respect or disrespect the visitor I tell to bug off when he is asking me questions, even though he hasn’t even understand what he is talking about?

Do you respect others or yourself when you buy up the toilet paper stocks in your local supermarket? Do you respect yourself or others when you keep on taking the bus, coughing at the exercise class?

In my city, about 140 thousand people, it is eerily quiet this morning. It is as quiet at 8:40 am, as it normally is at 4-5 in the morning. I can hear a bus here and there… but hardly any traffic, non in my street. Even the garbage collectors haven’t arrived… I hope they are still working.

The community center down the hill called me yesterday to let me know they are closing and stopping all services.

Respect is largely unidentified… misidentified, because it is so lacking.

The word respect literally means: give another glance… but not from the same old place, but from a different place.

Looking at things from the same judgmental, personal, skewed, and fixed place won’t change what you see… and therefore won’t be respect.

First you see everything from your unique vantage point where it is all about you. Where you already know everything. And then you look again, and you bring a different vantage point to bear, not from your selfish, all-about-me place, not from already knowing, but from not knowing: from looking.

In the first view, through your own eyes, everyone is a jerk, a thing, what have you done for me lately, an enemy, blah blah blah. It lands as selfish, judgmental, obnoxious for the other person.

If you can bring a second view to bear, then you can look at them as a person, what they need, what they want, what is important to them that isn’t important to you.

The world has it that you need to earn respect, but that view is based upon a limited view of the world. Every person is a person, intrinsic value doesn’t depend on what you did or what you didn’t do. Respect isn’t earned… it either given or not.

This may be the most important sentence in this whole article…

The second view has a chance to land for the other person as closer to respectful, or even is respectful.

Most of you are stuck looking from behind your eyeballs. You view yourself as the only person, and everyone else as a thing… or maybe you even view yourself as a thing among things… and you are not even giving respect to yourself.

This is one of the reasons your about-me score plus your integrity score in the Starting point measurements is so telling about your relationship to yourself and to the world.

When you can only look from behind your eyeballs, everything is supposed to be in some way that pleases you, obeys your wishes, serves you, and is a slave to how you want the world to be.

When I look, the capacity of respect is the same as the Driftwood capacity. Source says amen to that.

When you crave respect from others, what you are really craving is people to look at you through your needs… not their own.

Am I going to rename the capacity ‘respect’? I may and I may not.

We shall see.

Some people grew up in societies where children should be seen but not heard. They called that respect, but it isn’t. It only looks at behavior and needs from the adult’s vantage point: children and their incessant babbling, arguing, can be annoying.

Being brought up this way, a child becomes dumb and a dullard: they are locked in with their about-me worldview in an invisible cage, and never learn about the world, about the other, about people having different needs.

People decide about the world through incidents, and unless they have a chance to look again… to look at the incidents from many different vantage points, they will end up locked in a tiny cage, suffering. In some ways they are locked out of the real world, like autistic people.

They cannot see and cannot appreciate what is important to another person.

I have students like this: they hear everything I say, everything I stand for, everything I need through their own needs, and I experience being disrespected by them.

If you have respect as someone considering you smart, beautiful, important, talented, whatever, you are looking through your own ITCH, and the other is looking at you through their ITCH…

Back to why you can’t respect another person, not even yourself.

Unbeknownst to the current humanity, respect, to look at something through a different vantage point is a capacity, or in fact two capacities: letting go of the current vantage point… and moving to another one, without taking your own needs, your own history, your own wants with you.

Without the letting go, you just pontificate, talk from your own soap box, just from a different street corner…

The second capacity we’ll call respect or Driftwood is to be able to look and see something different. Connect the dots differently. Notice different things. Have a different context. See the other’s need, ITCH, behavior as valid for them.

One would think this is a very desirable capacity, but it seems that it depends.

If you consider yourself the product of the events that happened to you, if you see more benefit from seeing yourself as a victim, than do something worthwhile and find out that you are not as good, not as noble, not as smart as you pretend to be, you won’t allow me to turn on the capacity, or if you allow it, you’ll turn it off promptly: the respect capacity will reveal your dark side, or it will reveal that you have been living in a lie or in delusion.

The moral question for the energy practitioner is: do I serve the person by breaking their psychosis? Or are they better off with it?

The second question, more practical: is it worth my while to have to turn on the capacity every five minutes (I am exaggerating), instead of working with people who can blossom under my care?

When I go deep with the people who can’t or don’t want to look and see, I find that what’s in common among them is ‘hate’.

Something about not wanting to give up hate. Hating oneself and hating another.

Hate seems to be the lock… lockjaw…

If they could let the hate go or at the minimum be replaced with a less ‘locking’ feeling, they could eventually come around and become open, participatory, and have a shot at a good life.

Through getting a different view from a different vantage point and ease into it.

Some haven’t or can’t… I cannot tell yet.

I am looking that if and when you have hate locked in, you also have hate for yourself. Self-hate.

No tolerance, no compassion, no acceptance, no love.

All those capacities, to be tolerant, compassionate, accepting, and loving hinge, depend on the capacity of letting go and looking from a different vantage point so you can see something different.

This is why the Driftwood/Respect capacity is a linchpin capacity: without it you are stuck in your self-made prison of hate, anger, self-aggrandizement, self-importance, slight, etc.

The last question is, will any of my programs, products, will help you avoid being one of the people who will get sick in this global epidemic?

I am asking Source… The answer is yes.

The coherent/energized water: definitely… of course if you think it is energized and it isn’t… it doesn’t help. You should make sure you email me a picture of your water, so I can test it.

Increasing your immune health: the food and supplement list

Not going into panic: Heaven on Earth

But ultimately what can help you through the most is the Driftwood capacity. Why? Because you look at everything the same way, without it, and that is got you (and humanity) where you are and and if you continue looking the same way, you’ll continue acting the same way.

Your actions are always in a perfect harmony, in a dance with how the world occurs to you… and occurrence is what you see in your fixed view… none of reality.

So if you can change what you see, what you’ll do will be different, and that is always for the better.

You can just look at your actions, and see what occurrence you are dancing with… and if you have the Driftwood capacity, then you can change it… if your actions are not to your advantage.

The Driftwood capacity can be activated… by me, but unless you first learned how to use it, it will turn off after 72 hours, earlier if you don’t really want to change your occurrence… like you are right about it… it’s wrong, wrong, wrong.

Another way to have it activated is with the Driftwood Avatar State Activator. It is slow, and it work ONLY if you actually attempt to see things differently. No attempts? No Driftwood activation. Bummer, eh?

It works if you work it.

Exactly the way they say it in AA, it works if you work it.


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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “Everyone wants respect. No one gives respect. But why?”

  1. Self-rings a bell. Is this the reason I resisted opening the capacity? I want to look at that. Thank you!

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