How to have room to build something of your Self?

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie

How to have room to build something?I have been getting a lot of money after I had all my savings seized… please don’t ask, I won’t tell you the details.

The money comes from clients, students, and -gasp- my nephew sent me money too.

I have noticed that the giver probably feels better about himself than the receiver… So I am happy I was willing to be vulnerable enough to ask for help… Not my usual attitude. It is quite unbecoming for a Forget Thyself soul correction.

I do a lot of things for people… meaning I am mainly a GIVER. It’s been irking me that people don’t to thank me for what they got. Meaning: they don’t know how to receive. They take it as a matter of fact, they take it for granted, it is their due, or whatever the attitude is there, and they rob me of what would give me, the giver, the joy of my gift being received and appreciated and a sense that I have made a difference… big or small it doesn’t matter.

I think I am appreciative to a fault… I wasn’t always, it is something I worked on. It is an acquired approach to life. I am happier for it. Life start to feel like a blessing. It has also lowered my ‘about-me’ score… i.e. it has allowed me to be humble, which is, interestingly, the capacity to learn.

Learning is the hallmark of humility. As is appreciation. As is gratitude. And learning is the only way to expand.

More often than not people thank me for my time.

What they are saying that what they received is my time. Not what I said or did. They received time.

Then also quite often they thank me for all the knowledge they received.  Or my attention.

So there is nothing wrong with any of those… so why do they all irk me? They do irk me.

It seems to me that it is necessary for me to teach, again, what to appreciate, what to pay for, and what to consider that is worth thanking for, what is worth paying for. What is value.

Obviously your value profile, the order in which you rank values is probably different, maybe very different from mine.

What is a value profile?

It compares you to the ‘ideal’ order in which to hold things, and the order in which YOU hold things.

A now dead great man, Robert Hartman spend his whole life to make this measurable, and therefore a useful self-training tool.

He called it Axiology: to measure your value preferences.

There are many ways to look at that order, the profile I paid for was called the Entrepreneurial profile, because I am an entrepreneur. But I could have ordered the salesman profile… or any other… I don’t even know how many they had at the time, some 22 years ago.

I then got trained in analyzing the profiles, but truth be told, I have the manual, but don’t have the know-how. There is a free tool, but without analyzing it, it is quite worthless… I say. But you can go and do it, and send me your report, or whatever, with a screenshot, or pdf…

I can still tell you one thing for certain: the way you thank me for whatever you found most valuable, whatever you found was worth paying money for, tells everything about you, especially with regards to your relationship to others, and your relationship to money.

And of course those relationships can be in line with the ‘Original Design’ or some other order we can only guess at. What we can observe is this: how well life is going for other people whose value order is different from ours. If you want a better life, you may need to change what you value more than you value today.

Value order is totally invisible: because no one thinks to ask: what do they value? Not even what do I value?

In the Freedom Courses, in the More Money Workshop, we start with the invisible dynamics.

I pay attention… you don’t have the distinction ‘value’ yet, so you pay attention what you have already and always paid attention to… and to no one’s surprise:

your life is an exact result of what you pay attention to, and what you value.

Yes. Bummer, eh?

In yesterday’s Freedom Course, we are still building the foundation, or more precisely we are still clearing the space for building a foundation. We saw three different ways our space in which we fancy we could build is not ready for building.

messy kitchen no room to cookIt is as if you wanted to cook dinner in a kitchen where all the counters including the stove is covered with several layers of dirty dishes.

Unless you spend all the time you need to clear those away, you won’t be able to make dinner… unless, of course, you zap (i.e. kill) some food in the microwave, which you shouldn’t even have in the first place.

It is the same in self-development, in self-growth, self-whatever… You need to clear the space.

The better job you do at that the more space you’ll have to create… and the more likelihood that what you build, what you create will stand. Whether it’s a new future, a new you, new ways to relate, new ways to work, new ways to make money, spend money, save money, invest money…

This is why I am spending all January with these clearing sessions for people, because whether they know it or not, what they can get out of the More Money Workshop, The Freedom Courses, will depend on the work we do now.

And then we’ll probably spend all of February to clean the space further… with occasional testing to see if anything new can survive… or not.

Your word, your declarations, your new habits, your new view of life need space, empty space to live… and cannot survive in a crowded environment.

This is one of the main reasons that none of the so called Transformational Programs cause lasting results. In fact the moment someone leaves the ‘seminar site’, or nowadays the computer, they are back in their crowded, business as usual space, and whoops, the whole change disappears.

I was an exception. I managed to not lose it, not forget it, not allow it to be overcrowded in my 35 years of being in training for transformation.

Was I smarter (brain power) than me classmates? Maybe. Was I this, was I that?

I think my advantage was that I have very little tolerance for myself not being something special…

being special instead of being treated as special.

And I know and ZAP a thousand ways of not BEING special: anything ordinary, complacent, reasonable, conventional, standard, ordinary, average, routine, prosaic, or common. It is very clear to me that to you wanting to be considered important, special, worthy of attention, worthy to be paid, worthy to be considered a genius is more important TO YOU than actually being that.

You consider that a higher value. So if I could do a value profile for you, we would find that you are upside down, topsy turvy… or in ordinary and crude language: your values are screwed up.

You’d rather complain that you are not appreciated, than do something about it. Boggles the mind.

It’s against nature… and, of course it is at the root of your misery, it is at the root of your life of scarcity, lack, and millions of whiny complaints.

You want to be appreciated, praised, promoted, paid for what you think, not for what you do. Not for the value you provide, but for the value you made up about yourself.

Are you stupid? Yeah, in ‘stupid as the stupid does’ sense, not that you lack the ability to be intelligent.

As long as your complaint has a higher value in your mind than actually doing what would eliminate the complaint, I can’t work with you. There is nothing I can tell you, there is nothing I can give you that will make you have a life you love and live it powerfully.

I guarantee it.

I have an assignment to the people who showed up yesterday at the Freedom Course session. You are welcome to join in and do the assignment.

I asked them to make a list of as many complaints as they can catch, and write down what they would need to do, say, that would eliminate the complaint.

And then start, one by one, and do what they found they could do, should do… so when we get to the third month of the course, they can truly build on a cleared out space, no complaints, no mess, no having to, no needing to, no wanting to, or no should, no avoiding, no victim stance, no arguments… there should be no thing there.

This is why I make it mandatory for my long time students to attend all these ‘clearing the space’ sessions, so they, together with the new students, can take off and build a new self and a new future, in any area of life…

Because even though we are focusing for the first 3-4 months on money, more money, better money, the principles are exactly the same for every type of success, whether it is in your profession, in art, in leadership, in becoming a bank CEO, becoming a funnyman who is well paid for being funny, or being a cherished part of a family, a coach… whatever is best suited to you, based on your strengths.

The other day I read Peter Drucker‘s (famed management consultant) booklet on ‘Managing Oneself‘. I have owned that book for a long time, but I hadn’t read it… shame on me! lol.

He says: Build on your Strengths.

Here is the kicker: most people are so much more interested in complaining for not being noticed, appreciated, well paid, considered a genius, that they never considered having a strength… building a strength.

Drucker must have written that book to more enlightened people than you… because when I ask you: what is your strength, we find out you don’t really have any REAL strengths, only imaginary.

You have some natural abilities, but 90% of the people I deal with have NO STRENGTHS.

So my challenge is to make a bunch of 3-year olds to valuable adults in a very short time.

But, listen up, as long as you are more interested in how others treat you, how others view you, that to have any value to offer, I can’t really do anything with you. I can almost guarantee you that you’ll waste your time and money if you sign up to my programs.

In the Starting Point Measurements the measure, #37: Can you let go of self-concern? the answer is yes or no… and occasionally Source says: maybe.

Unless you get a yes or a maybe, I will not take you further than the base level, where in our interaction I can see how you are, and how rigid, how self-justifying you are.

This month’s Freedom Courses are available to all… because they are a screening device for me, a pleasant or unpleasant feedback for you, and a great foundation builder for those who are already accepted into the long program, the More Money Workshop, which is the first ‘leg’ of the 27 layers of Mastery program that may go for years.

But, warning! if your strength is that you are a great liar, a great pretender, great at extorting likes from others, then I need to disappoint you: that is not a strength that will lead you to be happy, fulfilled, and live a great life.

That is a ‘strength’ that unless we kill it or at least weaken it enough so it dies on its own (remember the joke about the guy’s pen!s?) you’ll be stuck in the human condition when you’ll never ever meet your own expectations of yourself… you’ll continue to be a wretch, a slave, a puppet…

Here is a great example:

The other day, in one of my advanced programs, we were formulating who we could be for each other…

One of the students invented that he could be the one who makes me proud. And he succeeded famously: I am very proud of him.

But it is clear that we were building on the morass, on the swamp, on his overeager persona to be liked and considered a genius.

I wrote to him this morning:

the only reason the ‘I am the one who makes you proud’ stuck is because it is connected to your main motivator: to be good/valuable in other people’s eyes… which, as we see, is part of your racket.

strengthens it instead of building a person who can stand on their own feet, and not give a flying f!ck about what anyone thinks about him, guided by the spirit within.

the only way to live a life you love and live powerfully.

So, as you can see, in my programs we dig down several more layers than anyone in the ‘industry’, including all the teachers, psychologists, and other surface level gurus whose results, truthfully, don’t exceed one in a thousand.

My goal is 100%. Is it likely? No. My minimum acceptable result is 50%.

I know, you’ll work hard to be in the 50% I cannot help… lol. won’t you?

One of my main tools is shaming… shaming you into giving up the indecent pleasure of faking, duping, coercing, cajoling me and the world.

It is a priceless tool, because if I can really shame you, and if your Starting Point Measurements say you can let go of self-concern, you’ll love that tool the most… not in the moment of being shamed, but when it helps you get unstuck.

Last question: will I use energies, DNA capacity activation in the course?

I will, I always do.

But please be aware, that if you cell hydration is too low, and any number below 30% is too low, you’ll be too incoherent for me to produce results with.

If it is a temporary setback, then I’ll support you to correct the error. But if it is because you don’t even have the system set up: hey, you are not going to be in the course… No exceptions.

Now, that I have chewed you out… what should you do?

I recommend the ‘throw your hat over the wall’ as a great method to force yourself to do something.

What does that mean in this particular instance?

If you don’t like your life the way it goes, and if you think you are capable for more, better, more fulfilling… but you know that you need help, then I recommend that you sign up to my More Money Workshop.

It includes (mandatory) your Starting Point Measurements, and participation in at least one of the Freedom Course sessions on a Sunday 2 pm.

Get your cell hydration method (water energizing system I sell) to meet the requirement, and you will either make it or not. But ultimately you’ll come out ahead: you’ll be more coherent, and more able to do life, even if I don’t accept you into the program. And if your determination is strong enough, I may accept you, and then you have a 50% chance that you’ll be one of the people who come out of the course fully empowered to make more money, or whatever you are lacking with regards to money.


OK, here is the righteous button aka the hat you can throw over the wall.

Sign up to the More Money Workshop

Subscribe to notifications

Let me send you an email every time I publish a new article

view pixel
Please note that I send an email every day. Also: if you don't fill out your name, I'll remove your subscription promptly.
You can unsubscribe any time.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.