Self-concern: how self-concern takes you out of the flow

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie

life is a process. concerns block the flow of lifeYou don’t live successfully. Your desire is much higher than your results. You are often, maybe always disappointed in the world, in yourself… but you don’t know exactly what is wrong.

So first let’s look at what is the underlying issue, because there must be an underlying issue if you don’t live successfully, right? The natural state of things is that you live successfully.

There is a cause and not living successfully is the effect. So what is the cause?

Self-concern seems to be the main cause… But let’s look: is it the self, or is it the concern that is the real issue?

It turns out that concern itself is the issue.

Not only self-concern, but any concern.

  • Concern for world peace also takes you out of living successfully.
  • Concern for black lives, concern for me-too, concern for the economy
  • Your concern for who will win this or that
  • Concern for ending the pandemic takes you out of living successfully
  • Concern for anything…

How? Why? How does it work? Why will any concern take you out of the flow of life?

concern according to Stephen CoceyMy assertion is: concern is counter to living life successfully

I don’t like the results that defining gives you, but in this case, because these are opposites, one will define and also distinguish the other.

When I that say one thing isn’t (distinguishing)… the other thing, its opposite, must be.

  • Concern takes you out of the whole. Living successfully must happen in the whole. Concern and living successfully are truly opposites.
  • Your concern takes you out of the flow, out of the process of life… and, you guessed, living successfully must happen as a process, in the flow.
  • Concern is a fixation, and life doesn’t handle well any part of it to be fixated… it considers it a blockage, and rushes up against it. Blockage is the cause of death…

Therefore you feel that life is attacking you. You are unaware that you yourself caused the conflict.. Because of this lack of awareness you get even more concerned… tighter fixated… ever tighter.

Watch this short video with Amy and Arnold Mindell, amazing psychologists… 2 minutes. Explaining process, the process, the flow of life.

I am observing students as they go from 30% to 70% to 91% to 100% concerned, completely unaware of the inner workings of concern, so they don’t even attempt to release it.

My theory is that there is a misunderstanding of reality, misunderstanding of life that is underneath it. In other words, a faulty worldview.

Life is a process. Reality is a process. Nothing and none of it is fixed. All of it is in movement, all of it is changing. Even when to the unseeing it looks fixed, even when for the person who lives in their mind it looks unchanged.

change is part of living life successfully, remove blockageThe only permanent rule in this universe is IMPERMANENCE. The only constant in life is change.

I now ask the question: to what degree does concern block their ability to be in the flow. In addition to of asking: what is their about-me score, which is a measure of their self-concern or their lack of humility, their inability to see reality, and measure it in measure 37.

To what degree does concern block your ability to be in the flow?

You see, nothing is certain about you, nothing that is part of you. Your name, your date of birth is not part of you… and therefore they remain the same. But your heart rate, your intelligence, and your blockages are changing, moment to moment.

Unless, of course, you fixate on them.

It seems that the higher the concern, the more you tend to be stupid, or blind, or self-promoting… the harder you try to be different than you are.

I just measured everyone in a class. It is early morning here… in New York State… some students are sleeping, some are just waking up, others have been up for a while.

the higher your concern score the unhappier you areThe higher your concern number,  #37 measure, the less successful you are in life. The less you are in the flow, the less successful you are at changing when change is needed, the less successful you are at growing.

My level of concern, until 1996 was 70%. I was stiff… inflexible, self-righteous. Ugh.

And then something happened: I embraced being stupid.

That was the thing of concern for me since I was 3 years old where I made a mistake and got hurt. I eased into stupid, I RELAXED into stupid. And I took stupid on as my new self-image.

Of course I had an insight just previous to that: I saw that being smart had nothing to do with how far someone got financially, or relationship-wise my main concerns at the time. I was alone. I was poor, I was struggling, and I wanted to prove it to my dead parents that I wasn’t a mistake. That they were wrong when they didn’t think I should live.

It was all stuff I made up. It was all my interpretation. I wonder if they’d ever thought that. But at the time, in 1996 it was still the perception reality I lived in… And that perception reality was kept in place, was kept unchangeable by my self-concern.

Anyway, embracing what the object of the concern, relaxing into it created a turning point for me.

It wasn’t a ‘one and done’, by the way. That is not how life works, that is not how process works. It was gradual, maybe even slow.

In the years after, I embraced other things that took me out of the flow… and I let go of anger, hate, judgment, competition, comparing, and vengeance.

Today my level of concern, concern for anything, including my self-concern is 3%. I haven’t even needed a chiropractor for five years now.

And although occasionally I get tight and concerned, I can let go of the concern and return to the flow. I share it with my core group subscribers when it is obvious that that is what happened.

They are my ‘money list.’ They provide me with 70% of my income.

Money doesn’t like to come to you when you have concerns.

Your concern is like rock in the rapids: like water money flows around a rock, not into it. So the easiest way to see your level of concern is to look at your money… is it flowing to you?

If it isn’t… then you may want to consider identifying your concerns and letting them go, one by one, by embracing them.

I am using simple and easy words, but this doesn’t mean it is easy. In fact, embracing a concern feels like small death.

embracing a concern feels like small death

The concerns are constantly triggered, at least for me, by a class, a video, a book, something from the outside temporarily connecting to my soul and dislodging the ego for a minute or so.

Soul, ego?

Yes. All the concerns are concerns of the ego.

Also, all fears are ego fears. And all fear is fear of death. Death of the ego…

All unreal fears. The fear you experience when a gun is pointed in your face is real fear, not ego fear.

But that rarely happens… right?

I was beaten as a child. And yelled at.

So when someone raises their hand, or yells, I am afraid. Body memory.

But when my stomach flutters before I attempt to teach something that I am not sure I know how to teach: that is ego fear… not real.

Mark Twain said it best: ‘I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.’

Worry is an expression of concern. So there you have it…

Worry about, worry for, all concern. All blockage.

The meditator worries about what he will find… so he never actually meditates. A muscle-testing person worries about what the answer will be, so the muscle test isn’t ever accurate. The person who wants to connect to Source blocks his connection with being eager… yet another word that says: concern.

A student of mine wants to sound witty, a good student… here is yet another word for concern: wanting.

In fact the words: I have to, I need to, I want to, I should are all words expressing concern… and if you paid attention, expressing ego, and expressing blockage.

Hate me as much as you want… as the bearer of bad news.

A better choice would be to let go of a little corner of this monolith… Like proving? Proving anything?

The humility activator, any version, used consciously can help with that, but ultimately you need to do all the work, the activator just helps.

You need to get that there is nothing to prove. Not.a.thing.

It is easier with the process we are developing in the ‘From inflated self to humbling self‘ workshop a week from tomorrow.

How does that work?

Your self-concern was born to fix a self-image you decided your parental disapproval syndrome gave you. It is some version of worthless. You don’t belong, for example, because you are worthless. You can’t have the tootsie rolls, because you are worthless. And you were slapped, left on the street corner, not allowed to play with others, because you are worthless. Got it?

And then you wreck your brain how to fix that… and come up with a brilliant idea. The idea is yours, and it is anything but brilliant.

You decide to prove that you are trying really hard. You decide that you are important, or funny, or good, or whatever, without actually being that, having earned that, having worked towards it. Empty and hollow…

But now your ego, you invested your ego to prove that… and that is what we call self-concern…

In that ‘From inflated self to humbling self’ we find a self-image that you can hopefully adopt as your own, like I adopted ‘stupid’, Adriana adopted ‘loser’ making the self-concern have to concern any more.

Some self-images won’t work, because you may have no idea what ‘humble’ for example would look like.

I had a lot of incidents in my past where I was stupid, so it was no big deal for me… yet it still took almost a decade to swim free from the concern. Adriana is doing better…

So in the workshop, when we contemplate a new self-image for you, we’ll need to really look if you can BE that…

Anyway, the workshop is on the 10th of December, Saturday 11 am EST.

From inflated self to humbling self

By the way, the higher your concern number the higher your chances are for health issues, especially the typical blockage related illnesses, like the big C.

It is a good idea to get your health measurements muscletested by little old me, and get early warning signals if anything malicious is brewing in you. Your best choice is to get a year’s worth. Second best choice is to subscribe to it monthly. Third, of course is to get a snapshot that tells you how you are doing today.

And before midnight you’ll get a free ten dollar additional assessment for free.

Ten dollars are ten dollars, it seems, even in 2022… So if that pushes you over the edge, thank god for that.

Get your health assessment… you’ll thank me for it. If there is trouble, you can act early when it is both cheap and easy to remedy… Little troubles today can be real killers in a little while. Instead of concerning yourself about it, come face to face with it, and do something about it.

Go to step 2
If you don’t have your health you don’t have anything. but instead of concerning yourself about it, take care of it… Surprisingly? letting go of concern may allow you to heal.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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