How to NOT become a winner in life? Inversion…

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie

winner in lifeOnly one way to be a winner in life, the losers all have their own ways to lose

This is a rewording of the famous Anna Karenina Principle.

I decided back in 2003, no, I invented for myself the beingness of a winner, and then I started to collect evidence. And to change a ton of behaviors that were inconsistent with being a winner.

If the Anna Karenina Principle is really a principle, then I had a lot of things to drop or change… after all winners don’t need to invent themselves as a winner, neither do leaders have to invent themselves as a leader: they win and they lead.

I wasn’t winning and I wasn’t leading.

I just muscletested it and in 2003 I was a winner to a puny 7% degree… not really noticeable… neither by me, nor by people who observed me. I was more on the LOOOOOSER SIDE.

it seems impossible until it is doneThen I did what I say is the most expeditious path: the strait and narrow.

I started to shed unproductive behaviors, or change behaviors enough that they became productive.

This is obeying the principle… instead of adding, I took away.

There is an analogy that proves the point: you drop blue die into a dough, and the whole dough becomes blue. You can add flour and water till the cows come home, the blue gets fainter, but doesn’t go away.

So the magic is to take away the blue… or in my case the unproductive behavior.


When I look around, that is not how the human mind works:

the human mind thinks of a million things to add… all of which never lead to the result you want.

You are fat? The mind tells you to walk, to exercise, to drink more water, to take pills… anything to prevent you from doing the only thing that works: take away what made you fat in the first place: overeating. Or eating the wrong things, or eating the wrong way (eating style).

When I was a student at university there was a doctor there: it was a big university: 30 thousand students. I customarily broke out in horrible pimples, so I visited him. He looked, and he looked, and he told me: it is self-toxicity: I don’t digest my proteins fully, and they rot in my gut… and I get rid of the toxins through my skin.

I never had another breakout… I just looked what i ate that made me break out and never ate it again. For you curious ones: I ate beef stew. No beef stew for me.

That is the takeaway technique: you stop doing what doesn’t work.

You could say that integrity itself is a takeaway technique: you remove everything that keeps you out of integrity, and voila you are in integrity.

The techniques I am starting to teach in the Integrity Workshop later today are the techniques that help you take away unproductive activities, and replace them with sound activities that are narrowly designed to get you the results you are working for. Less activity, more results, and a whole lot more fun.

That is what I’ve done in the past 18 years… Today I am 70% winner. Why not 100%? There is more work to do. And I am doing it. More unproductive activities to remove, unproductive relationships, and learning how to do actions I already do to make them really productive, like these articles, my emails, my sales letters. I am in the process. I may be able to get to 80% before I retire.

When I look at my clients and students, I see that none of them even understands the Anna Karenina Principle.

The Anna Karenina Principle is alien to our consumer society where troubles are fixed by throwing money at them.

There is an epidemic? Let’s throw money at it, because people won’t be willing to restrict their movements… so that is the only solution.

  • It takes discipline and deliberation to adhere to the Anna Karenina Principle.
  • It takes saying no to habitual ways of being and acting, saying no to a lot of things. And saying no once is easy, but you’ll need to say no forever… no kidding.

My own level of discipline, on a 1 to 100 scale is relatively low, 70, so I still do unproductive things, and if I might say so, a lot of those, especially in the area of health.

You cannot be a bigger winner than your level of discipline allows.

And your level of discipline is really low, Knee jerk reaction after knee jerk reaction is the norm. Fixing what’s not wrong, is the norm.

We can safely say that the level of discipline for a normal human is 1. Yes, you read it right, one.

So mine was higher than normal already in 2003… How come? I just developed it over the years, through studying, reading, learning musical instruments, languages… all needed discipline… Not much… they got me to 7%.

In the Integrity Workshop I teach a few methods that train your discipline, and I also provide the capacity activator audios… because you’ll need it.

The two capacities that are essential are seeing that there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix, and of course discipline, which is will power.

Why those two DNA capacities, self-discipline and nothing wrong/nothing to fix?

winner,resigned,giving upBecause if everything shows up for you, occurs for you as wrong, you’ll have a knee jerk reaction, which is, depending on your constitution, will be giving up, lying down, playing the victim, or attacking it.

You can see that neither behavior will take you to the promised land.

And discipline aka willpower is self-explanatory: when it comes to saying no to one thing and saying yes to another thing, not doing what you said no to and doing what you said yes to is hard: so you need support.

Humans have 160 capacities that are either active or not.

I call them spiritual capacities, because they are beingness capacities, but you can call them intangibles: that is what the job market calls them.

You can inherit them, but the nature of Life is such, that even inherited capacities turn off if they are not used.

The average number of capacities open in humans is slightly less than 1. Humility is the biggest issue: if you can’t even see that you need it, you won’t have it. And most people don’t see any need to learn anything, and therefore they can’t. Can’t learn.

And right after that comes the two capacities I have been talking about: seeing that there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix, and self-discipline.

Because without them you are like a wild-child, like an untrained puppy, an alley cat…

You cannot register into the Integrity Workshop where participants get those capacities activated for free… but you can do the next best thing: buy them for yourself.

Get the Integrity Home Study Course or just the capacities
PS: I was stunned when i checked the sales page for the Live integrity workshop. I found that it wasn’t even talking about this course that is starting today.

So if you have been wanting to do the course, but the ‘wrong’ sales page turned you off, email me and I’ll make an exception for you.

There are enough participants in the course to make it a good course, but there are quite a few people who should be in it and to my surprise they didn’t register. Now I know why.

I didn’t realize I was exactly like I teach not to be: I never looked at the page I send people to… hm. You see, that is part of having only 70% discipline. My loss.

PPS: In searching what habits to chuck, what habits to retire, sometimes ordinary articles can be very helpful, like this, how to win article. Every item can be looked at: what did you have to say no to, so you have this?

But if you try to add it to your already habits… it cannot grow roots, none of it will become possible.

And that is the essence of the Anna Karenina Principle, and all my courses… they are teach replacing and shedding. Replacing boring with interesting, replacing not trainable with someone who declares themselves incompetent… Not magic: habits.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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