I just had my first ‘podcast call’ with Bonnie, one of my newer students. I really like her. Her first question hit me unexpectedly low: she asked: who are you making the podcast for… who is going to listen to it? who are your customers?
I hadn’t given it any thought… I only thought of what I wanted to teach… hm.
I learned an awful lot from the call… It didn’t turn out the way I envisioned it: 10-20 minutes me lecturing… instead it was a conversation with an intelligent person who, you could hear, could and would implement what I teach.
My Sunday call is, in contrast, with a person who will never implement anything I teach.
So what did I learn that contributes to this article I wrote yesterday but haven’t published yet?
What did I learn about who should I consider my clients and customers and why?
I saw that if what you buy needs you to co-creatively do something and you won’t, either because you can’t, or because you don’t want to, then you should not become my client or customer.
But I also saw that I could talk to you in a way where what you need to do yourself becomes more obvious to you… Like I did in my conversation with Bonnie this morning.
This is still raw… I’ll probably will have to return to it again and again to mine all the gold that was in that call.
So here is the article the way I wrote it yesterday… warts and all… I do see my responsibility in building enough desire and enough pain, so the gap is big enough to force you to act and implement… But that is really the only thing I see so far.
There are people who buy things, but they have no intention to actually become clients… So the question really is: who should become a client. For whom can I produce the most results?
Let me look at this question from another vantage point: who can benefit and why? And also who can’t benefit and why…
OK, before I get all specific on you, let’s review a little bit what causes result.
Result is something to have. It is the WHAT in the WHO and WHAT equation.
So one of the what’s is the results. You can have good feelings. You can have money or some other stuff, or time to do whatever you want with. You can also have high vibration. You can have DNA capacities turned on. The list of results you can have is nearly endless.
People buy what they buy for the results they want. But they forget one important thing: what produces results is ACTION… doing. Without result producing action there are no results.
Now, back to the beginning of what are the sequence of events that produce a result:
You see something and at the same time you say something. What you say may be conscious, may be unconscious, but you say it regardless… How do I know?
Seeing/saying is the trigger for any action.
If I ever want to make a difference for anyone, my ultimate job is to influence what they say… What you see is out of my hands… it is a circumstance.
Every person may see the same thing, but will say something different, and the string of events this seeing starts will be different. Logical, eh?
So my job, as a coach, as a teacher, to alter what someone says so that the end result will be what the person wants, not what they don’t want, or nothing.
But before you even see that particular thing… before and even way before, you have already said a lot of things… and whatever you said then and there will influence what you’ll say when you see the ‘trigger’… so we need to start way before…
Your history needs to be re-written, and sometimes extensively re-written.
Unless we do that, you’ll continue producing the results that you have always produced… and if you came to me: I assume that is not what you want.
If that is what you want: please don’t come to me.
If you are happy with how life has been for you, if you are happy with the results you have been producing, I am not the teacher, I am not the coach for you.
I want people who are not happy. The less happy you are, the more results I can help you produce… if and only if you actually help me, cooperate with me in altering what you say, and therefore do and be what and who you haven’t been before.
If you are dead set against changing who you are and who you do: I don’t want you as a client.
Things, your results will not change if you remain the same doing the same things you have always done.
And if you focus on the results you are also an unsuitable client for me.
The results are often dollar signs.
Dollars are a result that are produced by you saying different, being different, doing different…
Unless you change, the dollars come as forced, extorted, and I am not interested in being part of that.
My idea client resonates with T. Harv Eker’s saying: It is not the millions of dollars that matter to me. It is who I needed to become to make those millions that matter to me.
If you are not willing to sign up for the whole journey: I don’t want you as a client. I can’t help you.
Most coaches are not like me. They help you do what you want to do… but I am not like them. I am not interested in that kind of coaching… you have a lot of coaches you can hire, lot of courses you can sign up to… I do not want you.
Am I cutting my nose in spite of my face? Hell yeah.
But if there is one person, then there are many, or at least enough for me to be busy and to make a difference for the ones who want what I offer.
Now, how do we find out what you are made of, and whether you would be a good fit for what i have to offer or not?
That is a really great question.
After all before someone can become a coaching client, they have a lot of work that they can do so they can change what they say… about anything.
One of the restrictive and defining elements that can be changed without coaching is your anchor to doom.
Something happened when you were young, actually little, and you said something about it.
That is how it works. Something happened… is the same as seeing. And unless you said something, it is as if it never happened. But there are incidents when you said something, and therefore they happened for you. And what you said about what happened is very significant.
It is about you, it is about the world, it is about others… And more often than not they are the foundation of your being, but moreover they point to an outcome that is less that desirable… and that doesn’t look avoidable.
I call that predictable, not very avoidable future your doom.
For most people it is a version of annihilation, whether it’s physical, emotional, or status annihilation, it is the nature of the doom.
I will never belong
I will never be loved
I will be left out to die, left behind
I will never this and I will forever that… never, ever, forever… are the trigger words.
These are, in the common parlance of ‘coaches’ and ‘spiritual teachers’ are called negative beliefs. And everyone and their brother promises that they can do away with them, but they are lies. You cannot.
You can do one thing and one thing only: realize that that statement is anchored in your psyche and in your body in an energetic way, much like an energetic attachment. And if it is true, then just like an energetic attachment, it can be uprooted, and pulled… I call this your anchor to doom. I can pull it. It doesn’t disappear your ‘dominant belief’ but it makes it able to move, to become malleable, not so rigid. Suddenly you are not tied, you are not anchored to the outcome, and you feel you can actually do things other than flail, try to avoid, and fret.
So this is the first and most important step I recommend to see what you are made of, what future, what result you will go for… Without this the only thing that we’ll know for sure: you’ll be circling the drain.
Now, for full disclosure: I do have some clients that are still circling the drain.
Why is that? Their anchor to doom is pulled: why are they still behaving as if they had that anchor in place?
That is a very good question.
If you have been a freeloader all your life, then the whole idea of providing for yourself is very unsavory, unpalatable. You’ll do anything, including insult me and my work to keep your self-image intact: that it is not your actions that lead to misery: it is the world that is against you, and that you deserve better.
But it is a lie, and on some level you know it.
Until you are willing to take 100% responsibility for what belongs to you: your words, your actions, you’ll continue circling the drain.
If you continue to circle the drain even though the anchor is pulled… and that is what happens to everyone who cancels or is removed… then you didn’t take responsibility for your end of the bargain.
The bad new is: no one can do anything for you… all actions are up to you and only to you.
The dominant beliefs will not change… but it is easier to change your behavior… but you need to do it.
But this is where most people fail… Fail to create a life where they are free to create anything.
It is 100% up to you. There is nothing I can do to change your mind.
So now that I wrote this article… what should you do?
If I were you, I would test myself. With some measurements? Not necessarily, although that is also available to you… The Starting Point Measurements.
But that would not tell me everything I need to do.
I would get my anchor to doom identified and pulled. And I would also sign up, now or a little later to the Soaring Method. Why? Because in the Soaring Method I’d learn to change who I am… and the new who could do things I can’t even imagine, things that could lead me to a better, more fulfilling life.
That is what I would do. You’ll of course do what you always do… And you are welcome to do that.
But if you want to learn more, here is the button to click
Learn more, so you can make a good decision