What’s the difference between being a winner and winning?

WHO AND THE WHAT climbingUse winner and winning like two walls the hamster uses to climb to the top. Make it a tiny steps method, aka Kaizen. In no time you’ll become a winner

One of the functions the new HERO system can be used is to Change habits… Build new habits. Change who you are.

This is a long article. download the pdf

Do habits build YOU, or do YOU build habits?

This is an important question, and I have a definite opinion about that… You’ll see why strengthening the power of your word is so important. And building those GABA fibers… No GABA fibers: you are sh!t out of luck.

When I was in my last two years in high school, I did all my school work between 11 pm and 4 am. I got up when my parents went to bed, and the house got quiet.

My brother had a hamster…

we'll use the who and the what to grow…and I took it out of the cage to provide me company. Every night the hamster climbed on the top of the wardrobe that was ‘freestanding’, with a merely two inch space between its back and the wall. The hamster used the two otherwise smooth walls to inch its way up.

We’ll use the who and the what to inch ourselves to the top, just like the hamster used the wall and the wardrobe, or in the picture, the two walls.

And that is the ‘science’ we are using in the HERO program to get all the way to the top… not the wardrobe, but your LIFE. Hah… yeah.

Habits don’t make you who you are, who you are makes your habits. But making a new you without building habits is not possible…

That is both good news and bad news. Why? Because changing who you are is actually simpler than changing what you do… The problem is: that new you has a short shelf life unless you build a structure, i.e. habits under it.

That is what I did, and that is the people know who you know as winners did. Without exception. But all that work happened, mainly, in the invisible.

You life is the sum total of all your habits… and you are not winning.

You have been seeing this, but no matter what you’ve been doing it’s getting worse.

Why isn’t it working?

I have been hammering it in:

…unless the who changes, the what won’t stay changed…

First become a winner in life (WHO). Then it’s easier to become a winner (WHAT) on the field… Inch by inch. Habit by tiny habit.

become a winner who winsSo how do you know who you are? Simple: listen to your inner and outer conversations. Your WHO shows up in in your words… what?! Yeah.

You don’t have a WHO outside of words. Your WHO only exists in language.

  • If someone offers you a drink, and you say ‘I am trying to quit’… then you can count on going back to drinking again. On the other hand, if you say ‘Thank you. I don’t drink.’ then your WHO is a non-drinker… and non-drinkers don’t drink. I am a non-drinker… and I don’t.
  • If you often say, whether in your head or out loud ‘I can’t!’, then who you are is someone who can’t, and you are sh!t out of luck, and so is your teacher.

These are simple examples, but it is never more complicated than this.

Bottom line, you create, have created your WHO with words. Automatic words, words you don’t contemplate. They feel like the truth, but unbeknownst to you, these automatic thoughts and words create who you are. Your words, just like your habits, are automatic.

If you observe me, I also have automatic sentences that define who I am. The difference between you and me is that I’ve spent a lot of time designing my words… and you are only reporting on your past failures: your sentences are not designed.

  • It’s all in a day’s work. (no reason to complain that I have to do something I didn’t plan on doing)
  • Nothing wrong here, nothing to fix. (when I screw up something or someone else does)
  • More has been lost in Mohacs. (this snag is not the end of the world)
  • No problem.
  • No biggie.
  • I can do it. (especially useful when I have no idea how… which is often)
  • I don’t do anything for money that I wouldn’t do for free.
  • I am living on the edge generating distinctions for transformation for humankind. (this to prevent complaining… works like a charm)
  • It ain’t necessarily so (especially when the automatic negativity clicks in)

I say these whether anyone listens. I keep on creating myself.

I am not saying this to brag, I am saying so you know what words create who I am. Learn from it.

  • I am an expanding human being.
  • I do the difficult things while they are easy and I do the great things while they are small.
  • Everything starts with invisible results but lots of tiny results create an avalanche.
  • I do what’s hard and life is getting easy.
  • I don’t do campaigns. I don’t effort. I don’t extinguish fires… I have no fires to extinguish. It would be a different person, not me, who has fires.
  • I turn around the oceanliner in a tight bay with trimtabbing...

These sentences are SELF DEFINITION… they have the power to create.

Successful people who go for 360 degree success,who go for a successful life keep on creating themselves with sayings. You may have thought they are self-promoting… but maybe not. Maybe they are doing what I am doing: they continue creating themselves. Like Tom Beal in this video.

Moving things along is a successful person’s habit.

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. (Earl Nightingale)

The operative words ‘progressive+realization’… Success is not something that comes all at once… it is progressive, the result of aggregation of tiny moves.

I am interested in an easy life where the living is easy. In health, in business, in relationships. So I attend to that future diligently. Consistently. Every day.

I am not saying I am 100% successful with every little step. This number 70% keeps on showing up.

I am working on 70% of my life, not 100%… I do about 70% of what i said I would do. I miss 30% of everything… My INTEGRITY is 70%.

When I look what I am NOT working on, or am not efficient in working on, I find these inefficiencies mostly in relationships and in health. In business: I am pretty diligent, and my newest habit is helping me being even more diligent with that.

GOOD CHANGE KAIZENAt this point: It is still difficult. I am doing the difficult steps… like Kaizen teaches. Kaizen made Japan the best automaker in the world.

American car manufacturers only dealt with mistakes after the cars left the factory. Japanese stopped the assembly line and immediately fixed the mistakes. American cars have hundreds of mistakes. Japanese next to none.

I learned the methodology of tiny steps building from my marketing teacher from 10 years ago, Robert Plank.

He himself used it to go from goofy programming nerd to respected high five figure marketer.

His methodology is called ‘four daily tasks’.

And because it is KAIZEN, you can even start with one daily task…

It can be used to whatever you want to build, slowly and steadily.

What hooked me on Kaizen is the book I read on it, where the out of shape busy single mother’s first assignment was to stand up while watching TV, and just stand there… Huh? And then eventually she walked in place. And then walked a little more… And eventually she got well.

I am using Kaizen and its 4 daily tasks mainly for business, but I am looking at adding health… for habit building. And maybe another one: becoming someone who isn’t a pack rat… That is still something I can’t see myself not being… lol.

How does the Four daily Tasks method work? Or 3 daily tasks. Or 1 daily task. Does it only work for business?

The method works no matter what area you single out to work on. The first and most important is to get clear. Without clarity your failure is guaranteed.

1. clarity.

Clarity means: You know where you are at, you know where you are going, you know what one thing will 10x your results, you know what you need to drop, what you need to do less of, and what you need to do more of.

Clarity is the key to success. Lack of clarity is the key to failure.

If you don’t know where you are, if you don’t know where you are going, you are not clear, and you are doomed to failure until you do…

How do you know where you are going? drumroll, please! You decide. But not from your memory, not from your head, but from what you see.

The best advice I have EVER heard for creating clarity is this: don’t start a business, start a project.

A project is smaller, limited in time. A project takes you to a place from where you can create another project. Complete it and eventually you’ll get to a place from where you can see now, clearly, what destination, what direction has a chance to give you the kind of life you want.

This is exactly how I built every one of my businesses.

You can’t go from unclarity to clarity in one step. It’s a process.

And then when you are clear, you can use the arrows of clarity, the one thing, the more of, the less of, and what to drop…

Most of the people who come to my site are NOT clear. In fact most people are not clear. It looks  as if they are not up to anything, but that is just how it looks… The truth is they would like to get to a life they can love, they just don’t know how to get to it.

What bothers me most are the people who are too focused on instant payoff. They are not willing to invest their time and energy to a project, or series of projects that will take them to a place from where they can become clear.

Stupid as the stupid does.

The HERO system, the 4 daily tasks can assist you in anything… Including getting to clarity.

2. building habits, dropping habits, changing habits

In the area of health and relationships, my actions, my tiny actions are designed to build habits that healthy and connected people have.

I have started to build a habit two days ago. Go downstairs when the mailman arrives, and instead of coming straight back, go to the park, and go as far as you can. Every day.

This is called habit stacking. Stacking a new habit on an already established habit… I go downstairs to pick up my mail… so I just add the new habit on top of it.

If I tried to create a freestanding habit, i.e. not attached to something I am already doing, I would probably stop doing it within a week.

I have many new habits I want to develop, but one thing at a time…

3. Establishing a new persona, a new identity…

…based on some course, like the Soaring Method. Reminding yourself that you are a magician. To not forget to use the channel changer. To make up new names. To ‘direct traffic’

4. To practice and complete as many of the incomplete cycles as you can.

To practice establishing the power of your word. To challenge yourself…

5. business habits or actions…

this should be obvious…

Robert Plank’s 4 daily tasks is not the only way to get there… For example in 5000 BC these are called TAPs… Taking Action Plans.

I don’t care whose method you use… in the HERO program we use the 4 daily tasks.

Here is the link to the HERO program. You can register on one of two levels.

  • On level 1 you get the use of the system, you get to see other people’s posts… but you don’t get support or training from me.
  • On level 2: you get the best of me… and the system.
  • On both levels you can ‘recruit’ another member to be your buddy… and you can be a buddy to someone else. Buddy: accountability partner. Someone who makes sure you don’t let them down, or someone who makes sure the other person will feel bad to let you down.


Choose your level

Here are the instructions I borrowed and modified from 5000BC.com:

Before you run away, let’s get right to it.

How to start your ‘4 daily tasks’ the easy way… by changing who you are. How? Doing this you become someone who has a stronger connection between what they say and what they do. A new person. Slightly better. 1%, 10%… better.

Here are the steps:
Start a small project. This project can be part of a larger goal. Say you want to come up with the idea for your business, or start your first podcast. You may even want to lose 10 lbs or draw or write 10 jokes. It can be a personal, or business challenge.

You decide.

Here are the easy steps to play.
Step 1: Name your goal.
Step 2: List what you’ll do. Keep it restricted to 4 things. Remember the one thing, the drop, do more, do less clarity arrows. Don’t just add things to do to your already busy life.
Step 3: List how you intend to do it.
Step 4: List how much time you’ll spend on it daily x 21 days (this is very important)
Step 5: What resources you have? What help or information you need?
Step 6: Start date/finish date. Let’s keep it for 21 days. If you skip a day that restarts the counting.
Step 7: Don’t miss this step: Get a buddy: It is always good to have someone nudging you along in case you start slacking off. Please email me and I will assign you a buddy. You have to email me or I won’t know that you need help.

Next Step: Let’s start, shall we?
Click on ‘New Topic’. Cut and paste the steps above and fill in the information.
Post every day!

Frequently Asked Questions
What does a buddy have to do?
As a buddy all you have to do, is check that your buddy has posted for the day. And if they don’t post, to nudge him/her—by writing on their post something like, “Where are you?” or “Waiting for you post today.” And if they post for the day, say something like, “Keep going”, “Well done”, etc.

What should I write in my daily post once I start my ‘4 daily tasks’?
In your daily posts: the night before:
1. my 4 daily tasks/action
2. what is the context, the idea behind it, what I am intending to accomplish you can have:
during the day, in the morning… this is another post or you can edit your first post… you can edit your own posts, that is how I have set it up:
1) What I did today
2) What I learned today as a result of doing the above.
3) My thoughts/comments (on the above)
And anything else you feel relevant to the exercise.

I feel vulnerable posting my plans
Remember a group helps more than ever. If you’re focused, we can help keep you focused. And again, no one is judging you. This is a SAFE zone. Doing stuff alone is a half-baked idea. Do it in a group and the wisdom of the group is far more beneficial. So start a project here, no matter how terrified you feel. At least you’ll get moving, instead of procrastinating forever.

Why should I post daily?
To me, there’s no one reason why people succeed or fail.
But the lack of momentum is easily one of the biggest reasons.
If you don’t do it every day, or nearly every day, you can forget becoming outstanding at anything. You’ll always be mediocre. Not average but mediocre.

PS: Hungary has always been a crucial entry point to Europe. Another famous battle lost to the Mongols, happened at Mohi.

Hungary could be famous for losing battles… 150 years occupation by the Turks, then centuries of the Austrian Habsburgs, then the Russians. It’s a country that doesn’t learn… for example in both world wars Hungary decided to side with the losers, the Germans…

Does it remind you of yourself? Your life? For many of you the answer is yes.

The original of this article is here

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “What’s the difference between being a winner and winning?”

  1. The hamster analogy reminded me of something… I used to have a snake, a wild caught red-tailed boa, unwanted by an acquaintance who I took in. She was surprisingly friendly, I loved her, but she could only eat live mice. There is a risk when you have to do this-Sometimes a mouse fights back and seriously, and I mean seriously, injures the snake. If you get a mouse who knows enough to try, it will.

    I never saw this happen, but I’ll always have respect for those mice.

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