Most of the time you have no idea what someone wants… so this is a gift.
Life isn’t a series of winning bets… Life is a series of losing bets that teach you something if you are willing to learn.
When marketers, entrepreneurs are asked, they say that nine out of 10 projects fail… But it is more like 19 out of 20 projects fail or are disappointing.
Now you see what is the difference between you and an entrepreneur:
- entrepreneurs don’t think they have to hit a home run every time,
- entrepreneurs invest energy, sometimes a lot of energy into losing propositions, while you quit before you even start.
When you look at life, you look at other people, it is useful to look through the Anna Karenina Principle.
I am going to give you a different way to see the Anna Karenina Principle:
Families that don’t do all the things that don’t work are happy. All unhappy families do one or more of the things that don’t work.
If you wanted to chart a path towards a life that works, a life that is worth living, a self you can love, you need to have your attention and your activities around eliminating what doesn’t work about you.
Counter-intuitive, isn’t it? And not just counter-intuitive, but counter-society as well. The society is basing their happiness, the idea, on making more, selling more, more more more and more… And happiness lies in less less less and less.
The minimalists have the right concept, just the wrong focus. They reduce stuff… while the issues lie with the activities, attitudes, ambitions. The issues lie in the invisible.
Each soul correction, interestingly, has a set of characteristics that lead to ineffectiveness and unhappiness.
The soul wants you to eliminate them, or at least make them less the backbone of who you consider yourself to be.
My teacher, Robert Hartman said: to know goodness you need to be intimately familiar with evil.
He didn’t know, but he spelled out the Anna Karenina Principle.
Positive thinking, avoiding negativity creates the exact opposite. It feeds the Dark Side, it feeds evil.
All the people I have done their health measurements and they had big issues bordering the incurable were positive thinkers. Putting a positive spin on things if they could not avoid bad things.
And this attitude that if you can’t see it, if you don’t look, if you lie about it, then it isn’t there is where cancer and other opportunistic diseases move in… into that shadow you don’t want to look at.
Now, saying: do it is one thing. But the most important question about the ‘doing’ is the ‘how’.
What is the attitude that you can have with regards to your negative, harmful, ineffective behavior and attitude?
Your current attitude about them is shame, anger, blaming, judgment. And those attitudes solidify what you don’t want.
You want to bring curiosity to every single one of them, one at a time.
See where they come from. What they want. How they serve you. What they prevent, what they replace, what they say that is just not so.
In yesterday’s Friday Call With Bonnie we looked at fear… and took it out of the body and had it on the palm of our hand. Looked at it. Looked from the side, looked to see what it looks like from underneath…
I have done that with countless behaviors and attitudes of mine before. I just found one today that I have not taken out and looked at… and today I’ll spend some time looking at it. It was contempt. It doesn’t feel good… and it separates me. In essence: it robs me of togetherness. Of compassion. Of love.
So it is a good idea to look at it, and see what it wants.
When you can take out what you don’t like and look at it on your palm, you allow it to be exactly the way it is and exactly the way it isn’t. If you really allow it, it will really allow you to be whoever you want to be. But until then it will do its darndest best to block you every step of the way.
You cannot do this work wholesale.
You can start the work by looking at who you want to be… The moment you commit to that person who you want to be, everything that doesn’t support it that you already are, will come up.
I have suggested to some of my students to collage who they are that is not that person they’d like to be.
Not whole and complete, not secure and peaceful, not big, not feeling supported and safe, held up by the environment. Not unafraid.
I remember when I was at this stage. I wanted to be bold and audacious. But I was puny, lost in details, linear, and fearful, maybe even petty. And as I am writing this, I can see that it is not done, the work is only done 90%, and whatever I haven’t allowed to be is still eating my lunch.
That is the work of becoming all you can become, the work of the soul, the work that life is. The meaning.
So instead of focusing on what you want to HAVE… GET…
you can focus on what you have power over: who you are being, what you say, and what you do, and your attitude. The have will come.
I have observed that the people who practice the ‘law of attraction’ b.s. do gratitude in order to get what they want. Not a word that comes out of their mouth is authentic. It is all agenda. And not surprisingly they NEVER get what they wanted, unless they force it, coerce it, take it from someone… pure and unadulterated evil.
We could call what they practice is the law of repelling.
What they end up having is health issues, money issues, a roller coaster life, leaving husbands, cheating husbands, all the bad stuff they didn’t want.
We could say that the reason the ‘law of getting what you want by manipulating’ is resonating with your stinginess, with your evil inclinations, that is why you are attracted to it.
I am inclined to do a collaging workshop and follow it up with a coaching series.
If you’d be interested, please send me an email, sophie at yourvibration.com
So to start seeing what your soul correction is about, you can buy the Soul Correction Workshop and start creating an inventory. You may even start, like Bonnie, with the most obvious issue, which is in her case: fear.
What does the soul want you to correct?