The three levels of value: an amazing process to fall in love with yourself

In this article I'll teach you something that has the potential to turn you into a happy, joyful person. No kidding.

Also, it can serve as the bridge between human and human being...

From that you can guess: the distinctions in this article are advanced.

At present, if you are a "normal" human, you are judging yourself and others. You are miserable, wretched, prone to get happy, get sad, get depressed at the drop of a hat.

I assert that you are judgmental, because distinctions are missing, and there is nothing wrong with you. Or them...

You are judgmental. You can't help it. You may try to control yourself, suppress it, but it isn't going anywhere. It is there. It's vicious. You judge yourself as much as you judge others. This is how you learned to be by modeling your parents, your teachers, your bosses, your church, your politicians.

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
Continue reading "The three levels of value: an amazing process to fall in love with yourself"

The secret of happy producers… NOT what time they get up in the morning, or how many books they read…

My students, like popcorn, are starting to pop at the same time. It is hard to say what made each pop... especially if your vocabulary (distinction) is not keeping up with the richness of the invisible reality.

What do I mean?

I have been intrigued with the idea of helping people to be intrinsically motivated, ever since I read and re-read Deci's book: Why we do what we do.

Without words one can be the best at something, but will never be able to teach it... Continue reading "The secret of happy producers… NOT what time they get up in the morning, or how many books they read…"

The 39th Bach Flower Remedy: the Yew: Desire to receive for the self alone

 Original publication date: March 11, 2012. Today all day I am reminded of this time...

The 39th Bach Flower Remedy: the Yew: Desire to receive for the self alone

One of the benefits, for me, to do the Connection Calls is being with all of you, and feeling how wretched, how miserable you feel. Not pleasant for me, but very useful.

I have been feeling some energies, some feelings that are not covered by the 38 original Bach Flower Remedies.

At the same time, while writing the Soul Correction articles, or teaching the core group classes, I can see that there is resistance there that doesn't respond to the Heaven on Earth energy bundle.
Continue reading "The 39th Bach Flower Remedy: the Yew: Desire to receive for the self alone"

Your Dark Side: Desire To Receive For The Self Alone, Cutting Your Nose In Spite Of Your Face

All religions are against selfishness. All parents, all people tell you that you are a better person if you are about others rather than being about you.

The problem with this universally accepted principle is that we actually don't know what we are talking about. It seems that what we are asked is to be selfless, to give up our selves, our self-interest.

Selfless can mean two things, both are a crime, a sin 1 , a horrible thing giving you a horrible life:

  • 1. We now have and know no self. This is a widespread phenomenon 2 in this day and age, and I was a victim of this phenomenon for many decades.

I literally did not know what I liked, what I wanted, what turned me on, what floated my boat, what I was excited about, what would have I wanted.

I knew fairly well what I didn't like, but just like with everything, there are a thousand ways to miss the bulls eye, but only one way to hit it.

Knowing who you are, what you want, what turns you on, what ticks you off, what your preferences are, what your values are is mandatory, if you want to be on the path to become a human being.

Without that you are just unconscious sheep. 3

  • 2. Giving up your own life, on your own life, on your own interest, on your own enjoyment, on your own fulfillment... for others' life, interest, enjoyment, fulfillment, whatever...

You cannot be a human being giving away your own life: it is against your nature, you are suppressing your nature, and anything suppressed will get its due: you either will go crazy, sick, or raging angry at the most inopportune times.

It is only your ego, the one that says: "but I am good..." enjoys it.

Human Being, (not just by looks and physiology, but by consciousness,) a Human Being, takes 100% responsibility for his physiology, for his needs, and takes care of those, without abusing anyone, without taking away anything that belongs to someone else.

A real Human Being does not suppress: instead uses his intelligence to express the needs, fulfill the need at appropriate times and in appropriate places.

You need to own that you are built on animal body, and consciousness, nothing will change that.

Making your nature wrong kills you, kills your body, kills your spirituality, but feeds your ego.

Unless you are Self-ish, your life won't matter. Your self-expression will be pretentious and fake, or non-existent. Your creative powers will be un-expressed, unused, or frittered away.

Now, let me talk about something that no one talks about: another price of suppression: ego.

Ego, in its eagerness to make you special, make you successful, is doing a horrible number on you.

All Soul Corrections deal with this very issue: I am going to explain it here.

Desire to receive for the self alone is what modern psychology calls ego. Ego desire. Being right, making the other wrong, dominating, avoiding domination, avoiding responsibility, and all the other ego moves. 4

Instead of being Self-ish, (knowing who you are, knowing what is your unique expression, knowing what you need and what you want, without EVER violating another's right for the same) you have suppressed Self-ishness, and now you feel justified to trample on other people's rights, interfere with their lives, or withhold what you would naturally give them.

I can see this clearly in conversations, namely in all podcasts, all Playground partner calls... It is so obvious to me, so invisible to the offending person.

Most of your life is about gaining power over others... a clear violation of the base law which is: you can have anything you want without taking away another's right for self-determination, for fulfilling their purpose, to earn their living, to live in peace and happiness.

Your main ambition in life seems to be making people miserable, upset, feel bad about themselves, get sick, lose the will to live.

I mean it. This is your main occupation, your main, albeit hidden purpose in life, unless you are Self-ish.

When you are Self-ish, you are busy creating, you are busy Self-expressing, or just living.

People suffer servitude, or animosity around you, and you pretend that you have nothing to do with it.

You won't really do anything else, lest they have some fun, some benefit, feel like they can just live their lives. No, you won't allow that!

Let me give you a recent example:

I have recently released a revolutionary audio recording, called Harmonize The Planet. Originally it was meant, like the name suggests, for harmonizing the planet. I asked people to join in and I was collecting a "donation" to be able to make a difference in the world.

Making a difference in the world is something very important to me, given that humanity has accelerated the pace with which it is destroying life on the planet. And there are not a lot of people whose activity can make a difference in that arena. I was excited that I could create something, and I thought that people will be excited to be able to contribute. After all this is OUR planet. And I supposed that my readership consisted of high-minded people.

Then something unexpected happened: the audio turned out to be doing two other things, on the level of the individual, things I didn't know it would do or even could do..

  • It turned out to be an effective antidote for the common anguish and anxiety... Trust me, I had tried everything before, and nothing worked like this audio.
  • The second thing that it does is even more valuable. You see, to go to the next evolutionary level, humans need to use the mind as a tool, instead of being used by the mind... like puppets.

People use their minds to understand things, to listen, to see, to see what they feel. The mind is not a suitable tool for that, so people are completely cut off from reality, and the culprit is the predominance of the mind.

This audio, The Harmonizer, shuts up the mind. It creates a welcome pause, a silence, in which the Beyond can talk to you, in which you can contemplate who you are, in which you can feel your feelings, listen to your inner guidance, hear what others are saying, or just rest.

The audio cost a pittance, but only my students were buying it.

When I muscle tested why other readers don't buy it, I got that people resent that they have to pay for others' benefit. They'd rather stay anguished, or riddled with a busy mind, lest others benefit from what they are doing.

Now, whether they are thinking of their mother-in-law, their "best" friend, I don't know. I know one thing: if it benefits another, as well as them, they don't want it.

Here is another example:

Some 25 years ago I had a lover. Every time I wanted to have sex, he refused. He said he felt used. He said that I was asking for it because it was good for me.

What he could not see, did not see, is that he, a man, always enjoyed sex, whether I did or not. But he preferred that he was the only one enjoying it.

Somehow it made him feel better if he was the only beneficiary of the "act."

The people that say: no, "I won't buy the Harmonize The Planet audio, because it also helps others," are just like this one-time boy friend of mine.

A direct result of pretending all your life to be generous and selfless... while you withhold yourself and wish everyone dead around you, so you can finally have your day.Get your Harmonizer audio

PS: Misery loves company, the crab bucket are examples of desire to receive for the self alone. Each soul correction has their unique way of sucking the life out of life... maybe I should write an article about that. Do you know what is your soul-correction?
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Will measuring your vibration prove that you live a butterfly life… not a caterpillar life?

First let me clarify the terminology: vibration is an invented logarithmic number... It indicates the level you are on the level of evolutionary scale in every area of life, including intellectually, spiritually, emotionally.

Butterfly life:

you can live life on the horizontal plane (caterpillar life) where everything feels personal, attacking, dangerous, offending, painful, dramatic, or the vertical plane, what we could call "heaven on earth" where you are not bothered by stuff... where you experience joy, enthusiasm, love, caring, etc... and get things done, so your life feels worth living.

One of the most frequent things people find my site with, is the question: what is the real difference between a butterfly and a caterpillar, and why you can't talk butterfly language with caterpillar people. Continue reading "Will measuring your vibration prove that you live a butterfly life… not a caterpillar life?"

Competence is rare… People who can get things done, well, on time… are rare

Competence is rare.

You know the people you deal with: they are just like of you... 99% of them 99% of the time are incompetent, late, shoddy work, nonexistent knowledge, sloppy delivery, tunnel vision, no distinctions.

You don't have to be competent in everything: be competent in what you do for a living, and in your relationships.

But, of course, it will require something you haven't been willing to do: get better. Learn deeper, more, more precisely. Practice, and bring integrity to it.

Deliberate practice, the rare phenomenon, is rare because people think: practicing is doing it the same way, over and over, expecting a different results.

One of the characters, a literary character, practices marshal arts, etc. every day, hours on end.

Lincoln, the president, said: I'll sharpen my axe for five hours so the one hour I spend with cutting the tree, the axe is "competent" to do the job.
Continue reading "Competence is rare… People who can get things done, well, on time… are rare"

How we keep our self-worth, self-value low in life… new insights

I have been posting my articles on Medium, an online platform, for the past two years. This morning I was tallying up what articles were well read, well thought of... and was pondering if I should write articles that people like, or if I should continue writing articles that people need. Articles that only I can write... writing those is more fun for me.

I can look at the question through many different "filters"... integrity, i.e. being true to myself. Being true to my principle: "Never doing anything for money that I wouldn't want to do for free." or the newest distinction for me: project mode vs process mode.

Wanting more article likes is project mode. Writing articles is being with what I am writing, and the articles will produce the results they will: this is the process mode.

Learning

Learning new things is both exciting, and humbling. More humbling, in a way, than exciting. I never really want to learn anything new, not about myself, not about life, not about people, not about anything. I already know enough, says a part of me... and I break out in hives (figuratively) at the option of learning something new.

And then, when I do learn something new, I have to process it, and rebuild my self-view, maybe even my world view. It could be fun, but it really not pleasant.

If you consider that this is what I ask from other people, for a living, I could be viewed pretty "inauthentic"... looked in one way. I don't think I am, I feel the pain it cost people to learn something new, and have compassion: see where they are at and am willing to help them through.

Yesterday's article on the two hemispheres of the brain

Yesterday's article was the result of a huge learning, and I didn't hear any echo until this morning. Even this morning it wasn't any talking about what I wrote: instead I got an example of how it is true, that when you move from the high mind-share, high about-me score, you have creativity and joy available to you.

What I didn't see, and one of my students taught me, is that the project mode, when you are hellbent on getting the result, and put up with the process that you'd rather not have to go through, you are in the mind: the only place the future exists, you are in about-me mode, and you are in left-brain mode, even if you are doing "art". Of some supposedly joyful thing, like a game, or sex, or a conversation.

When you shift into process mode, you are in the present moment, and that is definitely not mind. Mind doesn't even know about the present moment.

This traditionally project mode student of mine did this shift, and for the first time he experienced joy and creativity (his one art is songwriting, he has others) and called his state: "I am better than ever." The joy was tangible in his voice.

And that joy, that "being hooked up" to the divine source of joy, creativity, transcendence is available all the time, not like the project mode that has a time and a place and a duration... what most people seem to crave.

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The strait jacket of identity... and the string that move the puppet

This same student brought up an issue that has caused another unwanted learning for me (what I am referring to in the title of this article).

He was pondering and examining why he has the urge to teach his mother what he knows to teach... even though it always leaves him with a sense of emptiness and futility.

I recognized myself in that... I have been getting better at avoiding this, but only with a lot of self-discipline, using my short supply of will... to stop myself.

Maybe that is why, on days when I see people who I could teach, who don't want to learn, never asked for it, don't want it, don't appreciate it, I get very tired, drained, and have suddenly no joy.

What's going on in the invisible?

Most everyone had an incident in their lives where what they said or did was not appreciated, not heard, not valued, and now they are trying to fix it.

The problem is: you cannot fix anything that is not wrong.

If a screw falls out: you can put it back. If a vase breaks, you can glue it together, but if your diagnosis of what was "wrong", amiss, is mistaken, all your efforts at fixing it won't fix it: because it wasn't broken to begin with.

We spend most of our lives trying to fix what never happened, what wasn't real to begin with.

  • My decision was, about my failure to be heard, is that I was worthless, a throwaway, not valuable.
  • My student's decision was, in his incident, that he can't... Can't possibly do what life wants him to do... no matter what he does.
  • And his Playground partner's, in relationships, said: "I can't win... not even if I yell"

And each person, who's ever  experienced a "failure to be enough" in an incident, invented a fix... and that's become part of the identity they are today.

  • I am hellbent on providing unique value, proving that I am smart
  • My student became well spoken
  • His Playground partner (I don't want to use names for privacy) became alternately bombastic and meek and self-sacrificing in the face of people opposing him or wanting something from him.

All inauthentic ways of being... perpetuating the original failure to be...

  • ...in my case to be seen by my mother as a person,
  • in my student's case: being able to do what he was asked to do (mediate between his parents at a young age) and
  • in the case of his Playground partner: be able to be heard as capable and valid.

I have written a lot about being a puppet on a string: this is one example you are a puppet on a string... perpetually being pulled in to recreate an early misery... feeling less than... without having much power over it.

It is an invisible dynamic, and until it is revealed, fully seen for what it is, it will continue doing its dance, uninterrupted, at the expense of your joy, power, and self-expression.

It occurs to me that I could measure to what degree you have self-value...

  • My student: 10%
  • His partner: 10%
  • Me: 30%

This is not the same measure as overvaluing one's worth as in delusion (also measured in the Starting Point Measurements.) It is what you bring into every conversation... what you hope is higher, but it is you who does whatever you need to do to keep it at the level you decided when you were young and someone invalidated you.

I lived most of my life with a low self-worth, a low self-value of 3% and have managed to overcome that impediment, somewhat, recently. I'd like to up it... but have no idea what I would need to do... so it's time to have a heart to hearth with Source about that.

xxx

It is Tuesday and I get my weekly horoscope by Rob Brezsny in my inbox on Tuesdays.

Today, it seems, for the first time, his non-horoscope type content was so in sync with what is going on in my courses and for my students, that I had a feeling that I may be on the right track, doing the right thing, and the Universe agrees with me. Here are a few quotes from what he says in the email, and my comments:

THE MORE ACCIDENTAL, THE MORE TRUE

"The more accidental, the more true," wrote Boris Pasternak. Scholar Mikhail Epstein expanded this observation: "The more accidental the phenomenon, the more divine its nature, for the divine is what has not been envisioned, what cannot be deduced from general rules, nor irreducible to them."

If we pursue this line of thought to its logical conclusion, we may decide that the most useful sources of illumination are not always holy books, revered dogma, and great truths that everyone has heard. They might also be serendipitous anomalies that erupt into the daily routine and break the trance of ordinary awareness.

"The tiny spark," Epstein writes, "is the precise measure of the holiness of the world."

(Source: Mikhail Epstein, "Judaic Spiritual Traditions in the Poetry of Pasternak and Mandel'shtam." Translated from Russian by Ruth Rischin.)

The nature of evil

To the degree that we stop projecting evil onto others and face it and deal with it in ourselves, we are far more likely to act with moral equanimity (mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.) toward everyone else.

Our effort to wrangle (argue) compassionately with the shadow within us is an effective ground-level way to purify and strengthen our efforts to help and redeem the outer world

Where to look for evil?

"If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
— Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Are you part of the problem or part of the solution? Don’t be hasty answering…

we-have-met-the-enemyYesterday and especially today I had plenty of reasons to not want to face what there was to face: that we are the problem. 1 Especially if and when we think it's others.

I haven't done MY soul searching, but I will, I promise.

For now, just to document it, I'd like to address what I have seen.

One client paid me to remove her children's attachments.

I am still working on the second child, and this is what I have seen:

If you live inside a strong judgmental world of your own, where everyone, maybe including yourself, is wrong, then you are the Dark Side in your and your children's life.
Continue reading "Are you part of the problem or part of the solution? Don’t be hasty answering…"

The two hemispheres of the brain and spirituality… what is your life experience?

The scenic route of getting some teaching, and making it your own nurturing, life affirming tree of life knowledge

I want to share a phenomenon, that, hopefully, will get clearer as I am sharing it... At the moment I can only see its visible aspect... I am almost certain it has an invisible aspect as well.

I read about three hours a day. Something that isn't connected to my work: fiction.

But recently I have taken on a 20-day challenge: listen to 20 episodes of a Hungarian psychologist, Dr. Peter Popper, in his Mesterkurzus (master course) series, an hour long each.

Excellent, fascinating, the dude is both a psychologist, an university professor, a clinician, AND a religion expert... whatever that means. Continue reading "The two hemispheres of the brain and spirituality… what is your life experience?"

What if it is unlikely that you can become the best version of you? Is it still worth going for it?

Something I just read made me get up from bed and come back to my computer. It is something I have almost forgotten... even though it was one of the most important things I have ever learned.

It is: instead of fighting the bad, grow the good.

Of course, some of the principles we live by become invisible... this is one of those.

It's not my invention. In fact the two wolves the Indian (Native American) tale speaks of, use exactly this principle: feed the good in you.

But the way it was worded in the book I just read was more profound. It says: Let me grow more of the good myself so the bad is less of me.

I didn't need to kill the iceman (in me). I didn't even need to fight him. I just needed to make more of myself, so that he would be less of me.

Continue reading "What if it is unlikely that you can become the best version of you? Is it still worth going for it?"