What separates humans from other species, yes even the dolphins, is language.

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So we have language. Language that hasn't evolved for, I don't actually know, but let's say tens of thousands of years, and yet we know nothing about communicating.

I even see people call The Communication Course, communications course... with plural.

What does that signal to me? That they don't think that there is such a thing as communication, only instances of it.

You think that talking, telling someone to do something or not do something is communication.

Unfortunately for you, for humanity, all the communications put together don't add up to Communication... Continue reading "What separates humans from other species, yes even the dolphins, is language."

So you want to be important… liked… relevant… belonging.

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So you want to be important... liked... relevant... belonging.

This issue is coming to the forefront... This expectation of be made important, liked, relevant, belonging by other people, or by some job, of by association, or by some success.

Or to be liked by behaving in a certain way, be liked by other people because of something you do or don't do.

It is an aspect of being an effect... not a cause. Little explored by anyone.

You are either in the world of because or you are cause... BE cause

Continue reading "So you want to be important… liked… relevant… belonging."

This is one of those weeks: I am all talked out.

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And I rarely say anything twice. I expressed it once, and I am done with it.

34 years ago I started my journey from misery to The Promised Land... It was promised... and I went for it.

It was the last weekend of August back in 1985.

I snuck away from Jerusalem, where I lived at the time. Took the 2-hour bride to Haifa, took a taxi, and voila, my journey began.

It was a Communication Workshop. In Hebrew. My Hebrew was good enough to do work, but was pretty meager for transformational work, so it wasn't till the last day that I understood a full sentence.

But that didn't prevent me from having a breakthrough. Continue reading "This is one of those weeks: I am all talked out."

Communication: Access to Power… Create with your WORD

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We had our last What's Missing workshop for the season yesterday.

What a learning experience it was! Again.

I found out that unbeknownst to me I was still hesitant to believe that I am going to live, that I am not on borrowed time, that if I save money, I'll have a chance to use it.

This, under the conscious awareness issue has been running my life for 72 years... I have never been able to save any real money... and now I see why. It is time to begin to manage this... so I can actually buy a car, now that I can drive again.

Teaching? Are you sure you taught? Continue reading "Communication: Access to Power… Create with your WORD"

Human blindness, near sightedness, immediate gratification… and their relationship to your misery.

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The famous story that teaches geometric vs. linear growth creates insights that disappear about as fast as your dreams after you wake up. 1

Homo Sapiens, even the ones who understood mathematics in school, are famous for near-sightedness.

In the story between the ant and the grasshopper, humans are the grasshopper, and even the ants of humanity are more hoarders, than intelligent beings...

What are you talking about Sophie... what is this b.s. again? You ask... because you think I am putting you and all of humanity down.

But what I am doing is bringing some distinctions, shades of gray, into your black and white world that has been leaving you miserable... utterly miserable. Continue reading "Human blindness, near sightedness, immediate gratification… and their relationship to your misery."

One area where every student of mine is lacking is communication.

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One area where every student of mine is lacking is communication. When suddenly they do something that I consider communication, I cry. Tears of joy. One of my recent articles brought a flurry of communication... but it was a "fluke", an accident, a one time event.

What is communication, really?

The dictionary says: conveying information. Bah humbug.

The purpose of communication is to get what you want, from life, through other people.

Communication is a tool. For the most part the purpose of communication is to get what you want from life, through other people.

If the purpose of life is survival, and survival is more guaranteed if you get what you want, then communication is the most needed tool.

Continue reading "One area where every student of mine is lacking is communication."

Shall I create a communication course for you?

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If we consider communication a result producing activity, which it is, then we need to look at communication as we look at anything where we measure productivity: producing a result with some degree of reliability.

  • Just like in productivity, your results depend, largely, on your attitude. Your attitude towards the task, and your attitude towards yourself.
  • Just like in productivity, the order in which you do the tasks influences your results, and therefore your productivity. What you do first and what you do second...
  • Just like in productivity, something is considered more important than something else... and you'll either honor that or not... and your results will show that, or the lack of that honor.
  • Just like in productivity, your skill level, your ability to see the big picture, your ability to use carrot and stick effectively, you'll have compliance or non-compliance... you'll communicate or you won't...
  • As in productivity, some strategies, some approaches, some skills cause more productivity... same in communication.
  • The 80/20 rule applies to communication as well as it applies to productivity: most of what we say is part of the unproductive 80%, and often prevent us from saying the 20%, that has, at least a chance to produce the results...
  • And when we evaluate our performance, more often than not, in my experience, what we blame is not the 20% missing, but the present and ineffective 80%.

Continue reading "Shall I create a communication course for you?"

What is communication? Can you really learn it through a course?

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I don't offer a communication course... I have done Landmark's courses, over and over, and then more. I have learned some moves, but did I really learn the art of communication? No, THAT I haven't...

But it is time for me to learn it. Now or never. lol.

How do I know? Well, I just said so... but other than that: I am noticing some envy that is always a sign of aspiration, the secret yearning of the soul. I noticed it, and now I am going to act on it. So it's time. Now or never. Or as they say it at weddings, according to movies: speak now or forever hold your peace... I am speaking.

Here is a clip from one of my favorite movies, The Guru, where that part of the wedding ceremony saves a lot of people from unhappiness... And it is also funny as hell.

OK, back to the topic: communication: how to learn it, how I plan to learn it. Continue reading "What is communication? Can you really learn it through a course?"

Are you always misjudged, misunderstood, or mistreated? No one can see how bright you are?

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The art of being heard, being known the right way

On one of the webinars the topic was "Not being heard... Being misunderstood"

Every person on the call had at least one painful childhood incident where their speaking wasn't getting for them what they intended to get, instead their speaking was earning them grief and heart ache.

They wanted appreciation, understanding, equality, or love, validation, significance, or at least agreement.

When something doesn't work, one would expect, next time you'll try something different. But no... in real life it seems that the more something doesn't work, the more you, humans are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

When we looked, each and every one of us were repeating and repeating and repeating the incident in our lives, the same way, expecting a different result. Insanity, right? Continue reading "Are you always misjudged, misunderstood, or mistreated? No one can see how bright you are?"

Heaven or hell… same place, same people… the difference is your self-talk

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The opposite of Life is a conversation is you living in a world of object, being an object. An object. Ugh. I don't want to be an object. But if you look, you ARE treated as an object, by nearly everyone nearly all the time.

People don't look at YOU, they look at your body, your clothes, your hair... but not YOU.

I participated in a week long training some years ago, and the slogan of the training was "I see you". And I remember people getting teared up from hearing that.

That is the human condition: people tearing up when they are seen as a person, as an individual... as opposed to the norm: seen as an object to use, to abuse, to blame, to push around. Continue reading "Heaven or hell… same place, same people… the difference is your self-talk"