Lethargy, aimlessness, listlessness, the blahs, no ambition?

In the Wisdom Course I took more than 25 years ago, between Saturday and Sunday we had a homework. To write an autobiography through a filter of our choice.

The filter could be where you lived, who you live with, your love affairs, your schooling, your health, the sports you participated in… anything.

I don’t remember what filter I used then, but in this article I’ll do a little of that homework through the filter: depression. Continue reading “Lethargy, aimlessness, listlessness, the blahs, no ambition?”

Let’s dive into the human condition of no self-love

Depression

Depression is a stuck state. A limbo.

Stuck in all-or-nothing.

Whether it is low grade or higher, it is still depression.

It is not a bad mood, although laughing becomes less joyful and less frequent.

Flailing, like I said in another article is frequent… trying to grab onto some stuff that isn’t going down like everything else.

I have been depressed now for a few weeks now. It became unmistakable yesterday. Continue reading “Let’s dive into the human condition of no self-love”

The Third Kind of Depression to beat: simple but not easy

depression is a sign that you are unwilling to hit bottom. when you hit bottom, there is the beginning of coming upThis article, unintentionally, has two parts. They are loosely connected. One part is about hitting bottom, the second part is about getting out of the judgment, getting out of the systemic value paradigm where you have no future.

Depression Is A Sign That You Are Unwilling To Hit Bottom.

Continue reading “The Third Kind of Depression to beat: simple but not easy”

When someone says: get present: what do YOU mean by that?

When someone says: get present… what do YOU mean by that?

I have noticed that people often know the ‘what’ but completely miss the ‘how’.

I am almost certain that when I say ‘how’, you don’t even know where to look.

And I am almost certain that that unawareness, that ignorance, that ‘I have no idea what you are talking about‘ came from your upbringing, from your parents. Continue reading “When someone says: get present: what do YOU mean by that?”

Dogs can’t see rainbows. People can see them, but don’t

seeing rainbowsIf you are discouraged, read how I got myself out of the rut and see the rainbow again

I just read Roy H. Williams’ Monday Morning Memo.

It was just the thing for me to read… it was a mixture of feeling shamed and encouraged at the same time… Whaat? Yeah.

I woke up depressed. Not new, I have been depressed to some degree all my life. Continue reading “Dogs can’t see rainbows. People can see them, but don’t”

That sinking feeling in your stomach. Is it real?

That sinking feeling… the feeling that you don’t measure up. The feeling of impending doom. Of being found out… The fear of death…

I just read an article in the New York Times, and ended up having that sinking feeling in my stomach.

I don’t often have it myself, that sinking feeling in my stomach. but I experience it from students on the calls, so I decided to investigate. Continue reading “That sinking feeling in your stomach. Is it real?”

Self-Control, Flexibility and emotional intelligence

Our current worldview is as if we are backseat drivers, at best driving next to the driver.

All we can do is

  • observe
  • react
  • hope
  • suggest
  • protest
  • resist

but ultimately we feel we have nothing to say in the matter of where this life is going. That is our current view of the world.

Continue reading “Self-Control, Flexibility and emotional intelligence”

Why am I harping on the shoulds… is there any more to see?

Today I got to go deeper in the shoulds.

I actually saw that every single thing that causes you, causes Man to be miserable, is a should in one form or another.

What lead me on is this:

I woke up, as planned, at 3 am.

But I didn’t immediately get up. I wanted to measure if my healing client has maintained the healing I worked so hard last night on.

She didn’t. So I grieved a little… and then fell asleep. Next time I woke up it was 4:30. I heard in my head: I should have gotten up when I woke up. Continue reading “Why am I harping on the shoulds… is there any more to see?”

Feeling lonely? Are you feeling your own feelings?

SuntowerAre your feelings yours?

I had a realization a few minutes ago: Every summer I am attacked by this strong feeling that unless I have a life-partner, I am alone, and I have an empty life.

It comes fortified with bouts of depression, bouts of misery, bouts of fear, bouts of anxiety.

Today was really horrid.

Then I got a flash of insight: what if this is not mine at all? What if this has never been mine?

Self-Awareness and the The Sideways View…

How Self-Awareness is the Key to Happiness, Effectiveness, Intelligent Decisions… The Sideways View

self-awareness-2I thought I was going to have a domestic day. you know laundry, dishes, stuff. and watch myself, my emotions, and have a good old time.

The weather is gorgeous. My neighborhood is even prettier in the fall than in the summer. you can see far. and the contrast of the blue sky and the rusty color of the leaves and branches is really beautiful.

The thought: ‘I could actually be happy‘. The though of being cured. These thoughts were very present there for a few minutes. I made myself a nice cup of tea, and checked my email.

There was a note there from Youtube that I have a comment on my ‘Why are Jews smart?‘ video, so I went to check it out.
Continue reading “Self-Awareness and the The Sideways View…”