Self-awareness… what is it and why is it crucial to have it?

Self-awareness is the rarest of all the human virtues. Why? because it is all inner… and unless you have it you won’t even know you have it. And unless you grow it, you can’t change.

This is one of the things I measure in the Starting Point Measurements.

The numbers I get are between 3% and 20%, with 20% is being rare: I only found, so far, one person with that level of awareness.

So what can you notice if and when you are self-aware?

You notice your feelings and your emotions and then interpret them. Explain them.

We (and psychologists) have established that emotional intelligence is crucial to the quality of your life. Your life experience. Continue reading “Self-awareness… what is it and why is it crucial to have it?”

Self-awareness… How to shift your state of being, how toughen up?

3-ways-to-change-your-stateWhat is the easiest method to shift someone’s state of being?

We already know. Children, when they cry because they hurt themselves, can be brought out of crying by directing their attention to something more interesting, more engaging.

We use it in the Soaring Method.

I use it in almost every coaching conversation I have with people who are stuck in some unproductive state of being, like sadness, despair, maybe even resistance.

State of being, mode of being, beingness… all are outside of what you call self-awareness…

Self-awareness on the level of human is all physical and emotional.

Continue reading “Self-awareness… How to shift your state of being, how toughen up?”

Do you have, do you create drama in your life? Excitement?… or how to become a producer instead

This article may bring some pointers how you can have a life of producing results instead of drama.

Why isn’t everyone breaking a path to my door to participate in the Playground, my groundbreaking program?

When I look at my new buyer list, and the products they buy, I get a clearer sense of who I am reaching. I make no effort to reach anyone specific, anyone particular… by the way. I don’t know how to reach the person who would be able and willing to even consider taking the long road to where they want to get to. People want instant of near-instant results. Titillating results.

Just like art house movies are deemed boring, because the cuts are longer than a few seconds long… paths are deemed boring, tedious, and undesirable, if they take longer than 2-3 days, or alternatively a short exciting class with magical stuff in it. Continue reading “Do you have, do you create drama in your life? Excitement?… or how to become a producer instead”

What does positive thinking have to do with learned helplessness? what does belief have to do with it?

Why do I fight positive thinking, why am I trashing it?

This morning I got to a realization: the students that are not making strides, not moving higher on the evolutionary scale are the students that are confusing “there is nothing wrong in reality” with positive thinking.

Positive thinking says: avoid negativity. Turn your back to it. Make up something nice to say about things you don’t like, don’t want.

The French has a saying: The more things change the more things remain the same.

This is a principle: true in every area of life. Continue reading “What does positive thinking have to do with learned helplessness? what does belief have to do with it?”

Want more, better, different than what you have? Here is my contribution to the “manifesting” craze

It seems that people live with a desire way bigger than their skills, their opportunities, their earning capacity, their level of focus, their will power would fulfill.

Desire for stuff, desire for recognition, desire for opulence, status, love, travel, all known to cost you… but who wants to pay? right?

So methods of magic justified with “science” have been popping up.

They say: create with your mind
They say: manifest
They say focus on what you want
They say: want it really really really
They say: place your order to the Universe
They say raise your vibration so what you want will come to you.

So let’s look at this last one, because this falls into our expertise: we raise people’s vibration here… we raise people’s consciousness. Continue reading “Want more, better, different than what you have? Here is my contribution to the “manifesting” craze”

Moses made the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years… that is how long it took to change their mindset

Nature or nurture is a big question, even though, in the big picture, it won’t matter.

  • What is part of nature can be changed. In fact it is being changed effectively all the time.
  • What is part of nurture is harder to change, but it’s possible. It just takes more work.

Just the opposite of what you thought, right?

I am a good example for nature being changed: I got smarter than when I started, smarter than my siblings and my parents… through application. High achievers in the world are mostly of this type: born with little or average, worked harder, accomplished more than what they would get if they didn’t grow what they earned.

In my muscle testing the more you were born with the less you think you need to work, the less you want to work on becoming all you can become. Continue reading “Moses made the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years… that is how long it took to change their mindset”

What does that nice cup of coffee or tea have to do with having a Self?

How much voice do YOU have in the chorus of the voices that live in your head?

It’s Thursday morning, and I am starting a new experiment.

Yesterday I discovered that I have no idea what it is like to eat when you have an appetite. I observed myself, and I solely eat, have been eating, for taste. Texture. The mouthfeel.

But my physiology wants me to eat for appetite. 1 Bummer, I don’t know the first thing about appetite… 🙁
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I look at different languages to get a clue… In Hungarian appetite, the word, says “the desire to eat”. Hm. In other languages there are appetizers… that grow that desire to eat, or maybe to wake up the dormant desire? Continue reading “What does that nice cup of coffee or tea have to do with having a Self?”

The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…

You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.

A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…

Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”

Are you OK?

OK, I am getting emails asking if I am OK… this is what you get when people expect to hear from you every day… You skip a few days and they get worried… lol

Am I OK? I don’t feel OK.

But, of course, nothing is going on in reality… I am still doing work, I still read, eat, walk, talk to people… I just don’t have an article in me. So consider this a chat… not an article.

What happened?

The Playground, the year long process of emptying your past of “wrong” is what happened. lol.

Leading a program authentically, makes you walk with your students. Not ahead them, not behind them, with them. Continue reading “Are you OK?”

Focus on the things you can control… but what can you really control?

things you can controlYou can only control what belongs to you… Your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions don’t belong to you. Your actions, your attitude, what you actually heed, what you say… they do belong to you.

They are interestingly difficult to see… they are hidden from your view, overcrowded by noise.

We call these here: invisible dynamics. They are tiny machines, their behavior is predictable, manageable, and their effect on your life are detrimental. Continue reading “Focus on the things you can control… but what can you really control?”