What is the connection between respect and appreciation? Both respect and appreciation are spiritual capacities... states of being.
I am having a lot of insights lately. Of course, it was predictable: I am running an experimental workshop: it is driving up the questions.
When you have questions, relevant questions, you are going to get insights. Irrelevant questions? no insights.
Anyway, the circumstance this morning is this: I accidentally double-paid for the Tai Lopez course. Sent a support request to get a refund, and they answered that their policy was to talk to me, to make sure I was who I said I was.
I have been fuming about this. I mean my lower parts are fuming, and I, the Self, have been observing it with curiosity. Very strong emotions, by the way...
When you ask someone: what is the opposite of fear, they say "courage". But they are mistaken. Courage will never take you to the other side of fear... fear won't disappear with courage.
The opposite of fear is neither fear nor courage, it is abundance.
Fear is like a flower closing its petals. Courage is still trembling, still closed, still fearful.
But a fully open flower, blooming, fully knowing that a day later, a week later it will be dead, is throwing oneself into the whole big beautiful world, and living life with abandon. With wonder. With gusto. With dance.
Is it worth it? Is it worth the bother, the effort, the work? Will it get me finally what I want?
One of the reasons people don't like to try new things is because they cannot judge whether they can do it or not. Whether it will be easy or not. Whether it will be pleasant and enjoyable or not.
How come? Why is it so difficult? Life is complex, and most of us have no tolerance for complexity. Complexity, ambivalence, ambiguity are normal, but the capacity to hold them becomes available to you in only at a certain brain development age... If you got stuck in young child brain development, that is most people, you have never developed the capacity.
Can you develop this capacity now? Of course you can. What is preventing you from doing it? Your low TLB number... you are a Twitchy Little Bastard... and you can't deal with complexity, confusion, or looking long enough to actually see something.
Some of my students, when they learned about my habit of looking long and more than just once... as a way to deal with my dyslexia, have started to practice the same... and their ability to hold controversy and ambivalence has increased... because of that practice. But if you fancy yourself smart, quick, etc. Looking long and hard is going to be difficult, because your precious "I" will tell you that only stupid people look long and hard.
I have been telling you, telling my students, telling my clients, that you hear what I say... approximately. You follow instructions... approximately. You read... approximately. You keep your diet... approximately. You live... approximately. You got up this morning because you didn't die the night before.
I am re-reading The Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson. 2600 pages... What can I say, I like long books. lol.
I have started to check every word in the kindle's built in dictionary some time ago. Maybe a year ago, maybe two. I originally read the Baroque Cycle four years ago.
The book has plenty of words I needed to check. And to my dismay, I found that the first time around I only understood what happened... approximately.
Approximately is missing 90% of what you read, and you are left with the inconsequential 10%. The stuff you already knew. The gossipy stuff. The mundane stuff. The stuff that allows you to remain the same, your world view to remain the same.
As a rule, I don't have many marker feelings in a day.
A marker feeling is a feeling associated with a set of words... like "you are stupid" and then you feel bad.
Or "you are making a mistake" and you feel fear.
This morning I wanted to work on my presentation on tomorrow's webinar: the remarkable system of getting to a life worth living... or whatever i called it in the email...
So, as it is totally normal, not a single cell of mine wants to do that work. It's normal.
Doing something new, doing something public, upsets the ess... it's not comfortable... it is not what I normally do day in and day out.
Now, if the work were to write an article... none of this would happen. But the webinar format is different... I cannot pause and think between sentences like when I write an article. It has to flow... and there is a fear... A fear of mucking it up. A fear of losing some subscribers. A fear of losing face. A fear of looking bad.