Emotional Intelligence: When you suppress half of reality, you need to suppress all of it…

emotional intelligenceI spent two hours on technical support this morning. My emails are not delivered… and that is a big problem in a business…

The lovely support person, Claire, was knowledgeable, but here anxiety was so strong, I got dizzy from it.

Even though I don’t know her from Adam, I took it on myself to coach her… I felt that she was anxious because it takes time to do what she does, and she had to make me wait here and there.

That stressed her out… I assured her that I had no problem waiting, that she was fine, that she was competent, and she didn’t need to hurry. Continue reading “Emotional Intelligence: When you suppress half of reality, you need to suppress all of it…”

How words create and sustain emotions… Emotional Intelligence Part 3

Unfortunately for you, your emotions determine the quality of your life.

If you haven’t, please read part one and part two first…

‘They’ teach you to try to only have positive emotions, but guess what… you only try to have positive emotions on the top of negative ones…

The less emotions you have the higher the quality of your life… Surprised? It’s true.

Imagine you are a baby… You are happy. You are just here to eat and poop.

There is nothing you can or even have to do for yourself, you completely rely on other people, for security, for comfort, for sustenance, to clean you up… everything. Continue reading “How words create and sustain emotions… Emotional Intelligence Part 3”

The emotions that you are a slave to are manipulated… Emotional Intelligence Part two

This is part two of an article I started yesterday

I have a client whose soul correction is Fear/Fearless. She asked me how to get rid of that fear.

She is young, she is impressionable, and she acts fearful. She will have a lot of problems in life from that: it will keep her a child needing protection, someone else to look out for her.

Not what Life wants her to be.

Your soul correction is a particular way you lean away from Life, you turn away from Life: you don’t take responsibility and accountability for yourself and your life.

Life whats what Hillel the elder said some 2100 years ago:

If you are not for you, who is for you?

In this article we’ll examine what is ‘being for yourself’ means… be prepared to be surprised, my students were when they found out. Continue reading “The emotions that you are a slave to are manipulated… Emotional Intelligence Part two”

Scientists are trying to keep you on the 15th floor of your being. Emotional Intelligence Part One

Once you distinguish something, you start seeing it everywhere… not only where you expect it, but really everywhere. This is done by something called the reticular activator or reticular activating system.

I teach distinctions, distinguishing, and my students are reluctant to learn and start seeing… Until you see it everywhere, everything is still about you… and no transformation can take place.

The new distinction I have learned from a set of books by Hungarian engineer, Gyozo Margóczi, is that all emotions are created by words, even though feelings are not… Feelings are a little pressure here, tightness there… no meaning. There is a feeling and then you add a word, and you get emotion. Depending on the word you add, the emotion changes.

Here is the map-of-feelings-translated-to-emotions2020 with the corresponding feelings… Continue reading “Scientists are trying to keep you on the 15th floor of your being. Emotional Intelligence Part One”

I have been noticing a strong reluctance of people to find out the truth about themselves.

self defeating attitudeI have been noticing a strong reluctance of people to find out the truth about themselves.

When they do, they are relieved… so it is before… when they don’t know what’s wrong with them.

There is, there are signals that you are not in perfect alignment with who you would need to be to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be healthy, vigorous, the world is my oyster kind of guy or gal.

And you hate it, because it niggles away on you, like the thought of getting a C diagnosis from a doctor, the diagnosis of almost certain death.

So you procrastinate. Continue reading “I have been noticing a strong reluctance of people to find out the truth about themselves.”

Somewhere else is better than here… Something else is better than this… Someone else has it better than me

Yesterday, still recovering from my strenuous weekend, lol, I watched TED talks for a few hours, all on Emotional Intelligence.

They were all profound, and nice, and useful… and yet.

Emotional intelligence, measurable in percentages, is the ability to be appropriate to life, to dance, to get stuff done, to rest when it is time to rest, and work when it is time to work, and to love, and appreciate, and say what you need to say, when it is appropriate.

To look at things from more than just one fixed point of view, to be able to empathize, have compassion, express instead of stuff it…

You see why emotionally intelligent people get ahead in life… they are easy to be around because they are OK with themselves.

What people, psychologists, writers, etc. teach is surface.

Much like telling you to cover up chicken shit and enjoy the praline… Praline is an expensive candy… for those of you who don’t know. Continue reading “Somewhere else is better than here… Something else is better than this… Someone else has it better than me”

The nature of inner guidance, or how does inner guidance work?

outer guidanceHow does guidance work?

I bet, you expect a straight line from where you are to where you want to be.

Unfortunately, nature doesn’t work on a straight line.

So unless you are willing to take everything as guidance, and not stop asking, thinking you are home free… you’ll make wild left right turns before nature, Consciousness, your body takes you home.

I have been observing this for decades, and tearing my hair our…

Because more often than not, the first “guidance” towards a result you crave will take you to a bad result.

Why? I have some theories, but I don’t actually know why. Continue reading “The nature of inner guidance, or how does inner guidance work?”

Does negativity come from the words you speak? Does positivity come from the words you speak?

About 50% of humanity believes that positive thinking is what is going to bring home the bacon, suppressing negative thought, negative desires. I saw a video yesterday that even the Dalai Lama’s talk is interpreted as positive thinking…

He says: a small positive thought in the morning can set your whole day on a positive spin.

What he doesn’t say is that the kind of positive thoughts people have aren’t the kind that create a positive spin… au contraire… Just the opposite: They turn your day into sh*t.

I once had a client who lived and still lives in the small upstate New York town where I live… Syracuse NY.

He said, and lived by, that Syracuse is a dark town, no sun. Continue reading “Does negativity come from the words you speak? Does positivity come from the words you speak?”

What is your time worth? What does it have to do with your worth?

what is your time worth? do you value your time?If you are in business… or even if you are only selling your time/work at a job or freelancing, pricing your merchandise, friendship, advice, companionship, your time, your service is going to be something worth looking at.

A few decades ago I published a magazine. The magazine was free, the income came from advertising.

A girl whom I knew from before, who worked at the same architect’s office I worked, called me and asked if she could trade cleaning my office for advertising. Turns out she was turning tricks…

She came to the office, worked for an hour and expected it to cover the price of a quarter page ad, $200 at the time.

Why? Because that is what she got paid by her johns. lol Continue reading “What is your time worth? What does it have to do with your worth?”

Your fixed emotional response to anything and everything is the source of all your suffering

You probably haven’t realized that you have a fixed emotional response/reaction to everything.

I identified it a few years ago. I only realized that it is everywhere just this morning… Why not before? Because to identify it, one needs a self-awareness number higher than 30%.

Is that possible for a homo sapiens? I doubt it.

OK, what is mine? It is what I call “personally offended”. The lips slightly protruding an a pout, and the corner of the mouth turned down.

What is the age of this “mood”, or this emotion? I’d say 3 years old. Continue reading “Your fixed emotional response to anything and everything is the source of all your suffering”