Giving permission to yourself to feel what you REALLY feel is strong medicine

fixit2We live in a “fix-it” culture. Doctors, chiropractors, coaches, husbands, parents (especially mothers) are all about fixing what’s wrong with you. No wonder that you relate to everything that is going on with you as something to fix.

What is part of the “fix-it” culture, and is hidden behind it, but gives it the context, is that what is going on is INTOLERABLE, and MUST BE FIXED.

It feels like an imperative… like a straightjacket.

What is the problem with fixing stuff?

11915245-largeLet’s look at the action of fixing from a different point of view: what is your cone of vision when you are looking to fix something?

Continue reading “Giving permission to yourself to feel what you REALLY feel is strong medicine”

Want to be happy? here are the steps

weird-roseHappiness is a function of accepting what is. Life is like this weird rose… doesn’t look the way it should… orderly, smooth, safe, winning, beautiful, etc… Hard to accept, hard to even tolerate… Right?

What is accepting what is?

Accepting is saying yes to. You could also say: when you are accepting something, you give it permission to be exactly the way it is, and not be what it isn’t.

There is no “it should be different”, and there is no “it should not be” or “should not be the way it is.”
Continue reading “Want to be happy? here are the steps”

Who is running your life, the entrepreneur you or the accountant you?

cutting-corners-lazyJust like a company, shrinking looks like a good way to increase profitability.

But business may be (it isn’t) about profitability, but life isn’t.

When someone asks me what is the surest path to Expanding Human Being, I always bring up Bob the Butler. Or the quote and principle from the Neal Stephenson book: Diamond Age. Start living an interesting life. When your goal is not to win every step of the way, it is not to shrink to the size that you can manage, but to grow through trials and failures to the sky: i.e. an interesting life.
Continue reading “Who is running your life, the entrepreneur you or the accountant you?”

Who or what is The Creator that loves you unconditionally? A breakthrough in context

new-improvedSummary: In this article I am going to illustrate to you how something evolves, as opposed to being born…

I will illustrate to you the thought process it takes to move something from good to better to better and even better… There is no such thing as best in this thought process. This is the foundation of an Expanding Human Being: there is no limit to expanding, neither in the mind nor in the reality of the Original Design. And I’ll share the breakthrough we had in raising your vibration.

  1. When I came to this country at age 38, I was much like you in a lot of ways. One of the thngs that I remember vividly is my relationship to improvement. If a product label said “improved”, my thought was “that means it wasn’t good before, and probably isn’t good now… so I won’t get it.”I still lived in the mind, and the mind does not like improvement, it doesn’t like change. If something is good, then it is good, no need for improvement… Bah humbug.
  2. When I was an architecture students, I learned two things that became totally useful regardless of the field I applied them. One of these is what I learned from my famed History of Architecture professor: He shared that when he graduated as an architect, he went to work in a theater, instead of the field of design or construction.
    Continue reading “Who or what is The Creator that loves you unconditionally? A breakthrough in context”

Life Is Not Working? Relationships Are Not Working? Look at Integrity… Maybe It’s What’s Out

without integrity nothing works Without Integrity 1 Nothing Works. Sounds Good. Sounds Weird. It’s True! But Why?

I am borrowing that phrase, “without integrity nothing works” from Landmark.

It’s a catchy slogan. When things aren’t working, you can look where is your integrity, you put it back in, or not, and that’s that. Life either starts working or not.

Yeah, but why? Why would integrity matter?

Continue reading “Life Is Not Working? Relationships Are Not Working? Look at Integrity… Maybe It’s What’s Out”

Are You Committed to Happiness?

Commitments are powerful. They are life transforming. When you commit to doing something, doors open and paths appear. When you commit in word and action, people appear to support you in your quest. Commitment leads to change. Decide what you are committed to and your life will change in that direction.

What is a commitment? Merriam-Webster, an Encyclopedia Britannica Company, defines commitment as “an agreement or pledge to do something in the future.” I like this definition because it does not include “obligation,” “financial risk,” or “emotional promise.” It is merely an agreement or pledge that you willingly and noncoercively have decided to do.

A true commitment involves a sense of “No matter what.”

No matter what happens, I will continue eating less food or specific food as required by this diet.
No matter how I feel, I will exercise several days for at least one hour every week.
No matter how my partner responds, I will maintain my own state of equilibrium and reduce my own stress.
No matter how much money I make, I will manage my bills and save a specific amount each month.
No matter how long it takes, I will develop the required skills and learn how to….
No matter how I feel, I will find a way to be happy in any given circumstance.

Happiness is a mental state. It is built on internal, not external, realities. Regardless of the external circumstances, we can choose to be happy in any given moment. In fact, there is a system known as the “Science of Happiness,” which seeks to apply the scientific method to determine what happiness is and how we might attain it. Wikipedia cites a quote from Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihaly “We believe that a psychology of positive human functioning will arise that achieves a scientific understanding and effective interventions to build thriving in individuals, families, and communities.” The goal of this scientifically derived, positive psychology, is to enable others to thrive, not to just survive.

What would it be like for you to make a commitment to happiness? Do you believe you can actually make the choice and decide to be happy? Can you make this choice into an actual commitment? Can you decide that you are committed to being happy, no matter what lemons life might present you with?

Once you truly make a commitment, any commitment, the universe has a way of first showing you the opposite of what you are striving for. That means, you will be tested and you may be tempted to give up and forget your dream. But if you hang in there, hold on to your commitment – no matter what – miracles may happen. And you may find yourself so happy, most of the time, that you never believed such happiness was possible.

Are you willing to make a commitment to happiness?