Anything worth having is worth working for. Do you want anything worth having?

Lonely tree in the desert. Southwestern Arabah, Israel.Nature or nurture is a big question, even though, in the big picture, it won’t matter.

  • What is part of nature can be changed. In fact it is being changed effectively all the time.
  • What is part of nurture is harder to change, but it’s possible. It just takes more work.

Just the opposite of what you thought, right?

I am a good example for nature being changed: I got smarter than when I started, smarter than my siblings and my parents… through application. High achievers in the world are mostly of this type: born with little or average, worked harder, accomplished more than what they would get if they didn’t grow what they earned.

In my muscle testing the more you were born with the less you think you need to work, the less you want to work on becoming all you can become. Continue reading “Anything worth having is worth working for. Do you want anything worth having?”

The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…

You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.

A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…

Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”

Are you OK?

OK, I am getting emails asking if I am OK… this is what you get when people expect to hear from you every day… You skip a few days and they get worried… lol

Am I OK? I don’t feel OK.

But, of course, nothing is going on in reality… I am still doing work, I still read, eat, walk, talk to people… I just don’t have an article in me. So consider this a chat… not an article.

What happened?

The Playground, the year long process of emptying your past of “wrong” is what happened. lol.

Leading a program authentically, makes you walk with your students. Not ahead them, not behind them, with them. Continue reading “Are you OK?”

“Either everybody counts or nobody counts”

20 years ago I had my first entrepreneur value profile done.

It was some 30 pages long… a lot of English. But it said something like: I don’t work well through others…

Bummer…

A year or two later I got my certification to become a value profile consultant. Then I learned to see all that the 30 page said in English (meaning lots of words) at a glance on a grid.

My starting point measurements is a lot like that grid. It is more meant for the coach/consultant to know how to guide you, than for you to enjoy reading to indulge your delusional self.

Sigh.

So today, 20 years later, I looked at coaching, both as a client and as a provider. Continue reading ““Either everybody counts or nobody counts””

What’s your story? Your Troubles Are Repeating Themselves.

The Outcome Is Not Pretty. You Are Trying. You Fail. What’s Going On?

Your Troubles Are Repeating Themselves. your life is scripted. different locales, different characters, but it is the same repeating story. You Are Living Out A Script… The Outcome Is Not Pretty. You Are Trying. You Fail. What’s Going On?

I would dare to say, that repeating a script that only brings you trouble, pain, guilt, shame is the opposite of emotional intelligence.

  • The first “modality” for “emotional intelligence” I encountered was beating. By my mother, occasionally by my father.
  • The second modality I encountered was psychotherapy, by a psychiatrist, who, after two years of therapy, decided that sleeping with me is more fun. I was 16 at the time.

Continue reading “What’s your story? Your Troubles Are Repeating Themselves.”

Focus on the things you can control… but what can you really control?

things you can controlYou can only control what belongs to you… Your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions don’t belong to you. Your actions, your attitude, what you actually heed, what you say… they do belong to you.

They are interestingly difficult to see… they are hidden from your view, overcrowded by noise.

We call these here: invisible dynamics. They are tiny machines, their behavior is predictable, manageable, and their effect on your life are detrimental. Continue reading “Focus on the things you can control… but what can you really control?”

How to get out of the cave of your mind and start living in reality?

I just had an email conversation with a client. She wanted my review on a marketed healing program, and I reviewed it for her. The person doing it: personal vibration 100, truth value of that program: 3%

The things you are attracted to cater to where you are in your evolution as a human… They talk to your “identity”, to your world-view, to who you are.

If you are attracted to a 3% truth value program it is because your world-views truth value is about 3%, 97% not reality, not truth, 97% b.s. These programs sell like hotcakes… Because this is the level that most humans live on. Continue reading “How to get out of the cave of your mind and start living in reality?”

Yesterday was one of my worst days and one of my best days.

Things were falling apart on me. Both my computers misbehaved, and threatened me with a situation of no computer… not good, not good.

Two partner calls I listened to showed me that half of my students didn’t, don’t get what is supposed to be done in the Playground.

You can only imagine how it felt…

My home page, using the terminology from Transactional Analysis, is devastated… So I felt devastated… as if my life were destroyed.

I have a devastated/discouraged machine

I have seen this enough time to know that it’s the machine… so I chuckled… Continue reading “Yesterday was one of my worst days and one of my best days.”

If the invisible reality is invisible, how can you see it?

Most people who read my articles, or new people in my courses are puzzled by the term: learning about the invisible reality. How can you learn about, how can you learn about something that is invisible?

But, just like you can write with invisible ink, that can be made visible by another chemical process, you can make the invisible visible, for yourself, by recognizing certain characteristics, or by asking astute questions I teach you.

Of course unless you are somewhat astute, all the astute questions won’t matter… or worse than that: you’ll ask them without first seeing, astutely (again) what is in the visible.

One of the biggest missing is the ability to connect the dots, to see the connection or similarity between seemingly unrelated incidents, seemingly unrelated occurrences, either in space, or in time, or in circumstances. Continue reading “If the invisible reality is invisible, how can you see it?”

The uncatchable ball

uncatchable ballI have been working longer hours than usual, listening to recorded courses of mine, and listening to more than 10 hours of Partner calls a week.

Increasing the intensity and listening to older, already forgotten courses has done me good: I am seeing some questions I haven’t been asking.

How many predatory genes you have. How much energy you have to do the work to go to the next level. Is the machine stronger than your desire to be free? Well? Productive? Happy?

The human culture pulls toward self-righteous attitudes, where people have an illusion that life should go their way. That other people should conform to their requirements.

I remember when this pull broke for me.

It was a simple, innocent sounding question: What would life be like if everyone were like you? Continue reading “The uncatchable ball”