What makes you a slacker?

The smarter you fancy yourself, the stupider your behavior. The big picture of your life…

This article is slightly philosophical, I cycle through many ideas to get to a conclusion that makes a difference. You can jump to the end, to the conclusion, and we’ll know what you are… This article is about you.

Life’s way is to handle one thing at a time… make it work and keep it working. Then, when it’s working reliably, Life will start on the next thing.

Most of Life is continuing… not starting. Or modifying and continuing. Or adding and removing. But continuing… Getting better and better. Growing. Continue reading “What makes you a slacker?”

The Hiding Hand Principle or do you see enough reason to change?

which is the right path?I just read a book review by Malcolm Gladwell. I like to read his prose… He is easy to read, his writing has an easy flair, and his topics are interesting.

He writes about a man I have never heard about, Albert O. Hirschman, an economist, who I recognize myself in.

He is everything most people aren’t.

He said that you don’t need creativity unless something gets screwed up, and things don’t go as planned.

That when the going is smooth, no growth, no invention, no evolution happens. Neither personal, nor species evolution. Continue reading “The Hiding Hand Principle or do you see enough reason to change?”

Until you know what you are REALLY MISSING… you can’t give it to yourself…

Until you know what you are REALLY MISSING… you can’t give it to yourself…

…And until you know how… knowing what you really need won’t help a bit

In fact, although I can’t find a picture to illustrate it, but if you fill in a word that doesn’t fit into a crossword puzzle… the whole puzzle will be like your life… utterly unsolvable… miserable… wretched… and in fact it is, for most people.

I could say “all people”, and it would be accurate, and would make you stop reading… so I’ll settle for “most people” to appease you.

Solving the puzzle of a human life, to get a person on the right track after decades of only achieving misery in most of life is not easy… Because the forces conspiring against it are immense, and complicated to boot. Continue reading “Until you know what you are REALLY MISSING… you can’t give it to yourself…”

Do you ever use guidance that comes from outside of your own head? If not, you will arrive where you are heading…

train rail to change directionsDo you ever use guidance that comes from outside of your own head? If not, you will arrive where you are heading

Good, you say, but where you are heading is in the invisible, meaning it is not where you would like to go: happy ever after, but where you are, in earnest, heading.

So where are you heading? This is what this article will explore for you, with you.

So first let’s start with some invisible dynamics that you need to understand if you want to see how this works, how Newton’s laws apply here… not just in the inanimate world:

Newton’s three laws of motion may be stated as follows: Every object in a state of uniform motion will remain in that state of motion unless an external force acts on it. Force equals mass times acceleration. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

We’ll be looking how the first law applies to YOU and your life…

Continue reading “Do you ever use guidance that comes from outside of your own head? If not, you will arrive where you are heading…”

Buyers are liars

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”

– W.T. Purkiser

Most people claim that they want to change their lives… because truthfully, how it is now, is not much fun.

Only a tiny fragment of them will be willing.

What is the reason?

One reason is that they are lying. Habitually. And maybe, just maybe, they don’t even know it.

  • I remember the times when I had no idea what I liked and what I didn’t like.
  • I remember when the only way I knew I was hungry is because I found myself eating.
  • I remember when I didn’t know I had to go to the bathroom until I found myself there. 1

So ultimately you know what you like, what you want, who you are only from your actions. Not from what you say. Continue reading “Buyers are liars”

Why it is normal to be miserable: the itch you are trying to scratch

itch catch22The consolation prize you get, instead of a rich and fulfilling life

We all have it… unnoticed, unidentified, undistinguished, sneaking past your conscious awareness, the strings that make you a puppet on a string, robbing you of your life, using it for its own purposes… laughing at you. I can hear the laugh.

The racket. The insidious, ubiquitous racket.

It is a machine… and it is powered by an unfulfilled and unfillable desire, I call The Itch… the itch that cannot be scratched.

The desire for attention, for significance, for winning every transaction, for love, for filling your gaping hole inside. Continue reading “Why it is normal to be miserable: the itch you are trying to scratch”

Moses made the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years… that is how long it took to change their mindset

Nature or nurture is a big question, even though, in the big picture, it won’t matter.

  • What is part of nature can be changed. In fact it is being changed effectively all the time.
  • What is part of nurture is harder to change, but it’s possible. It just takes more work.

Just the opposite of what you thought, right?

I am a good example for nature being changed: I got smarter than when I started, smarter than my siblings and my parents… through application. High achievers in the world are mostly of this type: born with little or average, worked harder, accomplished more than what they would get if they didn’t grow what they earned.

In my muscle testing the more you were born with the less you think you need to work, the less you want to work on becoming all you can become. Continue reading “Moses made the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years… that is how long it took to change their mindset”

The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…

You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.

A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…

Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”

Are you OK?

OK, I am getting emails asking if I am OK… this is what you get when people expect to hear from you every day… You skip a few days and they get worried… lol

Am I OK? I don’t feel OK.

But, of course, nothing is going on in reality… I am still doing work, I still read, eat, walk, talk to people… I just don’t have an article in me. So consider this a chat… not an article.

What happened?

The Playground, the year long process of emptying your past of “wrong” is what happened. lol.

Leading a program authentically, makes you walk with your students. Not ahead them, not behind them, with them. Continue reading “Are you OK?”

“Either everybody counts or nobody counts”

20 years ago I had my first entrepreneur value profile done.

It was some 30 pages long… a lot of English. But it said something like: I don’t work well through others…

Bummer…

A year or two later I got my certification to become a value profile consultant. Then I learned to see all that the 30 page said in English (meaning lots of words) at a glance on a grid.

My starting point measurements is a lot like that grid. It is more meant for the coach/consultant to know how to guide you, than for you to enjoy reading to indulge your delusional self.

Sigh.

So today, 20 years later, I looked at coaching, both as a client and as a provider. Continue reading ““Either everybody counts or nobody counts””