You have been unsuccessful getting their guidance, getting your information from outside of the mind.
This manifests, among others, in your inability to muscle test correctly.
The question is why?
The phenomenon, what actually seems to happen is this: you understand where to look, how to look, and you nod rapidly. You bring great examples to show how you just succeeded in using the new capacity… but I can smell the mischief… you are trying to throw me off my tracking.
Now, I say “you” but who is this “you”? What aspect of a person am I talking about?
Every offer for something instant is a fraud. In every area of life… spirituality, health, weight, tinnitus, hair loss, erectile dysfunction, business, marketing, traffic, success, everything. But…
You flock to them. The main reason you come to my site is to find the ‘right guru’ for you… The right instant solution.
17 years ago I met a guy and we started dating. He was weird, he did hands-on energies, spoke with a breathy voice, and had a guru. He told me that you don’t choose your guru, your guru chooses you. He talked about shaktipat… where the guru touches you with a peacock feather and your kundalini rises and you have an instant enlightenment. He drank, took drugs, meditated, spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on energy attunements… I told you he was weird.
But he was influential to my evolution.
Through him I found out that I was an empath. He said clairsensar, but when I told that to people they didn’t understand… but empath, it seems most people know what it is… so be it, I’ll call myself an empath…
He told everyone how smart I was… I was a trophy girl friend, raised his standing in the world. Of course he was sure he was smarter.
He had… ok, let me not get ahead of myself. This article is what I found out about him.
Yesterday I learned that the answer was actually in my hands three years ago…
My mother had the fixed mindset, my father had the growth mindset. My mother called me stupid, and other names that don’t bear to be seen in a respectable publication… lol. She was an underachiever with two masters degrees. She was unhappy.
Parents often say to their children: you can become anything you want, but never say how, and why. Why don’t they? Because they don’t know, but more importantly, they don’t believe. My mother was mighty surprised at my success in life…
Society likes certainty, people like certainty, and knowing your place, and knowing other people’s place in the important areas of life is part of certainty.
You know how smart you are. You know what your talents are. And you now that you are good/not good at math.
My brothers know that ‘we are blunt and rude’… That is how we are… lol.
What you don’t know is that knowing all that is the death of you. The source of your misery. Because now you have to remain that way.
If you think that there is a fixed you… a self-image, self-concept, you’ll protect it at all cost. Justify it. You’ll also refuse to do anything that the fixed you can’t do, shouldn’t do.
You’ll do every personality test to find out how you are, who you are. Get more and more certainty. You’ll send for my Starting Point Measurements, and hate me forever for it. lol. I am not supposed to rain on your parade!
You are a fixed thing with fixed qualities… and every feedback rattles your cage. Every time someone tells you something about yourself: you feel that they overvalued you or undervalued you, so you hide yourself from any opportunity or any chance to be evaluated. You are shrinking… and you are miserable.
You think that if more people found you charming, smart, brilliant, irresistible, pretty, a winner… then you would be happier. But you are mistaken… You would be even more miserable… after the momentary drug-like high of the flattery.
I shared what I learned about the fixed mindset and the growth mindset yesterday with some people, and they attacked me.
The guys fought me tooth and nail… that their IQ is set. That no one can raise their IQ. For most people IQ stands for smartness, for their chances for success, but these guys, over 70 years of age, like myself, have had a life to prove that they weren’t smart… Finding out that they could have become smarter is invalidating their whole life.
And you may feel the same way. You prefer to continue the way you have been, with fixed IQ and a fixed mindset, to avoid having been wrong.
Being wrong is the worst nightmare of a fixed mindset person. Unconfrontable. Feels like dethroning… It’s like public humiliation. It’s like pulling your pants off in front of others…
For a growth mindset person there is no such thing as humiliation. And there is no such thing as enlightenment.
There is only the challenge, there is only the growth, the essence of life. Really, that is life for a growth mindset person. All good, all great.
Returning to the gurus and their reason to offer instant enlightenment…
Because nearly only fixed mindset people go to gurus, the gurus know what someone with a fixed mindset wants, craves, hopes for… and they oblige. They promise it to him or her.
Instant this or that.
You offer a process where you have to work, effort, experiment to produce the result you crave… a fixed mindset person is turned off by that and won’t pay you a dime.
My work, on the surface, looks similar. Activators, remedies, meditations, energies…
But those are only helpers. Ultimately you do the work… Only someone who is doing the work can be helped.
Even the bible says, I think: Help yourself and god will help you.
You need no god, but you do need help, I say.
I needed help. One of the things that helped me on my journey is exposing myself to different and diverse views of life, diverse views of the world. Different vocabularies.
For many years I was stuck in one world, architecture, and I grew more and more unhappy. I changed countries, but inside: nothing changed.
Inside that limited world there was no happiness for me, because inside that world nothing that was happening to me made any sense… or the sense it made, that I was insane, sick, wasn’t to my liking.
Then came my 26 years of Landmark participation, then Kabbalah, then energy systems, then Pam Ragland’s quantum mind sweeping, or whatever it’s called, Bach Flower energies, numerology, Peak Potentials, then my own work…
Words that set me free
The first word that I added to my vocabulary made me less ‘insane’ was dyslexia. Suddenly it made sense how I saw the world…
The second word that I added to my vocabulary made me a lot less miserable, and made sense of my past was ‘empath‘… Suddenly the misery I felt was either mine or not… wow. Most of it wasn’t mine at all.
And the third word happened two-three days ago: fixed mindset/growth mindset is now making it possible to take myself, take people, spiritually, and all ways to where they wanted to go.
The fact that three years ago I could not hear it… is very interesting. I think what helped me to be able to hear it this time was my practice to listen to the 67 steps, and observe my own letting go of the fixed mindset in many areas, especially about being smart and stupid as the most important thing in life…
And the 67 steps helped me observe many of my students resisting doing anything that would make them look bad, or find out about themselves anything.
Without this new vocabulary word (distinction) I wasn’t able to diagnose what was holding them back, and wasn’t able to help them overcome whatever that was.
One of the symptoms I saw was them feeling ‘it isn’t worth it‘ or ‘it won’t matter‘ if they do anything or not.
The fixed mindset students are either sloppy or casual about energizing their water or eating only foods compatible with their body. Their health isn’t getting better.
But symptoms, fixing symptoms, won’t help… only finding the cause… and it frustrated me to no end, I was tearing my hair out.
The second symptom was: will they take steps towards what they want or not… And none of them did. They may have taken many steps, but none in the direction of their chosen goal. Taking steps towards what really mattered to them: that they avoided it at all cost.
I used to be like that… I was afraid to find out that I can’t have it, because I didn’t have what it took. Fixed mindset. So I didn’t do anything… and kept the dream as a dream.
Having a growth mindset is very different from a fixed mindset.
In the fixed mindset you believe that there is a straight and obvious path to what you want. If you have what it takes, then it will come to you. (Manifesting?) If you don’t… well… you know, you’ll never get there. Or better yet, don’t even try.
I am certain that all the positive thinkers, all the law of attraction enthusiasts, all the manifesting wannabes are of the fixed mindset.
The growth mindset considers the journey, the discovery, the challenges life, and the results, the destination only secondary.
I still have a fixed mindset in many areas of life. Money is one of them. How to make money, what to do to make money, how to make more than I need…
Also my view of some people is quite fixed… sigh… To me changing this is more important than money.
I have read about, watched movies about extraordinary teachers.
They were inspiring, but none of those offered access to being like those teachers. There was NO vocabulary word. Instead: I saw that they were special. They had it. And I didn’t.
None of them said: ‘I have a growth mindset about my students, and you have a fixed mindset… That is the only difference between us.‘
And they could have said: just knowing those words will alter your world view. And then you can practice and grow towards the growth mindset, and allow everyone you teach to grow in your care.
They didn’t say it, and i didn’t know it.
Wittgenstein, a German philosopher said: ‘The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.’
Whatever you can name accurately becomes part of your world, part of your world view. No word? No vocabulary? That part of the world is outside of what is available to you.
In the Starting Point Measurements I offer, one of the measures is: ‘How many words are in your vocabulary that you can use correctly, where the word accurately reflects reality’.
This is one of the non-fixed aspects of a human. Of you. Of me. The number of words. The size of your world.
You learn a new word and the world opens up. The smaller your number the smaller your world.
Let’s say the world is 100… and your vocabulary is 30… 70% of what would allow you to navigate the world towards the good life, a life worth living, is missing from your vocabulary… and unless you learn new words that open up new worlds, you are stuck in your miserable existence.
No one who is already happy is ever reading my blog. Everyone reads it because something is missing.
Nothing wrong with that… I am writing my blog to people who are like me: something is missing and I can lead you to it.
Of course, if you have the fixed mindset dominating in your world view, the gossipy stuff will interest you more, the vibrational reviews.
Before you can really benefit from what I have to say, you should make it your priority to move your mindset towards the growth mindset.
I have been, and I am still doing it.
And as I am increasing my willingness, as I am growing my capacity to be OK with uncertainty (HARD!), my intelligence grows, including my IQ, my effectiveness, and my enjoyment of life, of people, of my days.
Who would have thought that! lol.
PS: I used to call people who fell for anything instant ‘stupid’.
It didn’t help me helping them at all. In my fixed mindset view I could not help them.
With this new word ‘fixed mindset’ I can see that inside that fixed mindset only heavenly interference will every be able to change that is fixed to something new that is also fixed.
It is a horrible affliction, and not in alignment with Life, the Tree of Life… it was taught to you. Why? because in the growth mindset you will become too smart for people to dupe you, to hold you down, to enslave you. That’s why.
PPS: In Landmark there was a seminar talking about the myths of I and is… Had Landmark known these distinctions, fixed mindset, growth mindset, there would be, potentially, millions of people more with the growth mindset. And humanity would be heading towards living in freedom. Personal freedom.
PPPS: Do the gurus know that they are taking advantage of your fixed mindset? My guess is that they know they are taking advantage of you. My guess is that they have contempt for you. But my guess is that they don’t know that they have a fixed mindset… that keeps them from ever growing, and keeps their vibration low.
I had a dream up till the very moment I opened my eyes.
In the dream I talked to lots of smart people. So I didn’t want to wake up… I was hanging around longer than usual in the threshold. I talked to Warren Buffet, Charlie Munger, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan… I also watched them.
I wasn’t looking for answers, I was looking. And I got some answers.
I just finished a Talk-to-me call. It’s a call available for people on my mailing list, where they can ask any questions and get answers, coaching, whatever they need. The call was a breakthrough for me, in a lot of ways.
First off, I distinguished for myself, for the second time, that unless I fall in step with the person I coach, they can’t get what I am saying as contribution and cannot act on it.
Falling in step with music is obviously fun. Falling in step with a drum circle is fun. But falling in step with another person is a challenge. But unless you do, discord is the result.
So what does it take to fall in step with another person in a conversation? Whether it is a co-worker, a parent, a child, a spouse, a friend, if you learn to fall in step with them, you’ll experience influence, intimacy, closeness… all the things that are missing in most relationships. Continue reading “Falling in step, intelligence, tough choices”
What is missing that you aren’t changing? What is missing that your life is not changing?
Missing refers to something not present. There is no ‘missing’ in reality… but in comparison you can see that one scenario it is there, in another it isn’t.
In one action it is, in the other it isn’t. You can see when you put them side by side… which, of course an advanced move, but possible.
So in this article we compare someone who grows, someone who is able to change, and someone who stagnates, doesn’t grow, doesn’t change.
Most people have a real hard time changing, by the way. Changing their minds, mainly.
I connected to two people this morning, both doing their health measurements. One is my niece, early twenties, beautiful, complaining of belly ache. I felt how she felt (of course, that is my claim to fame!) and it was both pain and nausea. The numbers said that she has something growing in her left ovary.
She is sure it is her intestines, so she is keeping a very rigid vegan diet, goes to doctors to find out what she is allergic to… none of that makes a difference. She is looking in the neighborhood, but not asking the right questions. Knowing her, she is sure it’s her digestion.
The other person was sitting at his clients’ office, and probably wasn’t treated as well as he should be. Probably he was treated as a person of no consequence… And I can feel that he is angry, annoyed, self-righteous. But it is a client, and he stays mum.
I am connected to him for quite a while: his bad feelings are interfering with my measurement…
The question we are looking at is this: what is missing for you, for these two people, for everyone when they are wrong, angry, annoyed, and altogether not happy.
Question is: Where is the person looking from? And the second question: what are they looking at? And the third: what are the undisputed ‘truths’ about them, about the situation, and about the world?
Another way to ask the same thing: Are you looking at the world always the same way?
It keeps the world the same way! Including you.
What can you do to personally upgrade to Human Being: magnificent, cutting edge, inclusive? Learn from the Bateleur Eagle…
I stopped at the public library yesterday and got a book, called Upgrade Me, by Brian Clegg.
I haven’t read it yet, so don’t rush and buy it: it may be good, or not, I’ll let you know. (book’s truth value: 3%, so probably not worth buying or reading it.)
Inclusivity vs. exclusivity
One thing is sure: replacing narrow personal or group “needs” with wider, more inclusive way of looking at things is the biggest missing, and it hasn’t gotten better in these past 100,000 years, despite all the pretense of love, light, and whatever preaching gurus and devotees. Or maybe because of it?
I am re-reading a book, some two thousand pages, on the history of the Mongols.
The the steppes of what is now Mongolia and the area around it, was, for hundreds of years, dominated by fighting between tribes that had their own khans. Same is true of the American Indians… they hail from the same area, the same culture… by the way.
Genghis Khan united them and made them a nation… brothers, sisters…
Today, looking at the world, looking at the few countries where I have some interest, the situation is not much different. We don’t call the fighting groups tribes, we call them factions, political parties, genders, narrow interest groups, sexual preferences groups, the home team and the ‘aliens’…
Most of what is considered today teaching, spiritual or otherwise, today makes any difference. For example, positive thinking doesn’t allow you to look at the world as it is, you are not allowed to look at darkness, evil, deception, lies, suffering, pain, illness, etc. the way they are, you need to put on the rose colored glasses to distort reality, rendering you stupid, blind, and a pretender. It is like going backwards in evolution.
Rob Brezsny, the horoscope guru, has a love-bent, light-bent, whatever bent on the top, but under it there is a shrewd transformational “guru” who, in every little article, forces you to either move your attention, move your perspective, move your context, and expand your cone of vision: all serving the exact same goal: making people, often, aware of what they are RIGIDLY blind to: the world is bigger than your personal or group concerns, and acting on the personal or group concerns destroys your world, but unless you practice this shift in view, REGULARLY, you can’t even see it.
It is true on the level of the individual, the group, government, race, and even humanity. We are all myopic, no matter how far we can see with technology: it is not only what we could see IF WE LOOKED, but what we don’t even look at. And we don’t look, and even when we look we don’t see. Without The Sight capacity open: we keep seeing the same thing… as if it were really there, really so… even if it is already gone.
This is why I say that we don’t see what’s there, we’ve projected what we see…
If you have been reading Rob Brezsny for as long as I have, (19 years) you’ll notice that he has about 30 different ways to alter your glance, and then he rotates them, 52 times a year.
Most of you will rush to read YOUR horoscope for the week below, but those of you who are interested in being guided to become human beings, Human 3.0 we could say, are going to look for the guidance in each horoscope, and experience what I am saying: the widening or moving or a combination of those of the glance: each and every one.
Horoscope signs, just like soul corrections, have one particular pivoting point issue, and Rob Brezsny uses that to shift around. Example: Pisces is airy-fairy, and has a hard time committing to anything physical, fixed… just read the Pisces horoscope: the recommendation is to attempt to fix the glance, for a few minutes anyway, so they can learn to look at things straight and be with it, and maybe commit to some accomplishment… would be revolutionary for a Pisces.
Call the horoscope’s suggestion the experiment of the week. I do… even if I don’t do it every week. Some weeks I don’t.
The other day I got an email from a student who is working on becoming flexible as a person. I suggested that she walks in the street and dances. For a few days she took his wife and his two boys with him, so he didn’t have to go alone and face people’s scorn at his behavior.
One day his wife and kids didn’t feel like walking so he summoned courage and went out by himself.
He writes: Sophie, I wanted to share this…it was funny….The family didn’t want to take a walk today..so I summoned courage and said “ah I am going to be bold and do this alone”….so I went out and was dancing with the weights in my hand…on the whole walk I think 4-5 people passed by me. And the voice in the head was saying “oh my god they are going to look at you and think you are strange”…and you know what…nobody looked…..I think I looked 2 or 3 of the passing people in the eyes and said in my head “hello look at me” but they just looked straight ahead…..After I passed the last person, near home I started laughing…..nobody gives a shit… not necessarily as I had assumed …LOL.
Working on his emotional flexibility, he started an experiment. After many experiments he, hopefully, will have turned her ideas on their heads…
It is possible to get experiment ideas to get from Rob Brezsny’s horosocopes below. It is possible to live life as an experiment, where you don’t already have the answers.
Answers to what? Sophie. Answers to who you are, for example.
In The Soaring Method you rename yourself on the fly. What it does is it takes you out of your rigid, fixed, inflexible way of looking at yourself. That new person, that renamed you can do things the fixed you can’t. Like not be impatient, not be arrogant, not be resistant, not be entitled, not be whatever you invented yourself to be, and got stuck with.
If you want to learn the Soaring Method, you can do so in this recorded workshop.
Sometimes it is looking at things that have always been FIXED differently, so you can see beyond them, see what they could be had you not been rigidly fixed, rigidly explained, and rigidly stripped of beauty by Human 2.0, Calling it a sin, or what is temptation, what is love, what is gratitude, what is devotion.
I know it is a lot of reading, but don’t just read: muse about it, feel it, allow it to guide you. You’ll be surprised that you’ll end up liberated to move towards Human 3.0, the Upgraded Human, to desire and receive the DNA upgrade.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the dreams you’re having at night, Capricorn, I bet you’re traveling through remote landscapes in all kinds of weather. Maybe you’re recreating the voyage of the Polynesian sailors who crossed hundreds of miles of Pacific Ocean to find Hawaii 1,500 years ago. Or maybe you’re hiking through the Darkhad Valley, where the Mongolian steppe meets Siberia’s vast forests. It’s possible you’re visiting places where your ancestors lived or you’re migrating to the first human settlement on Mars in the 22nd century. What do dreams like this mean? I think you’re trying to blow your own mind. Your deep self and your higher wisdom are conspiring to flood you with new ways of seeing reality.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It wouldn’t be too extreme for you to kiss the ground that has been walked on by people you care about deeply. And it wouldn’t be too crazy to give your special allies the best gifts ever, or compose love letters to them, or demonstrate in dramatic fashion how amazed you are by the beautiful truths about who they really are. This is a unique moment in your cycle, Aquarius — a time when it is crucial for you to express gratitude, devotion, and even reverence for those who have helped you see what it means to be fully alive.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In a letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway described his vision of paradise. It would have a trout stream that no one but him was permitted to fish in. He’d own two houses, one for his wife and children and one for his nine beautiful mistresses. There’d be a church where he could regularly confess his sins, and he’d have great seats at an arena where bull fights took place. From my perspective, this is a pretty vulgar version of paradise, but who am I to judge? I suggest you draw inspiration from Hemingway as you come up with your own earthy, gritty, funky fantasy of paradise. It’s an excellent time for you to get down to earth about your high ideals and dreamy hopes.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sometimes I think too fast and too much. My logic gets sterile. My ideas become jagged and tangled. When this happens, I head off to Turtle Back Hill for a hike through the saltwater marsh. The trail loops around on itself, and I arrive back where I started in about 15 minutes. Sometimes I keep walking, circumambulating 1 four or five times. Going in circles like this seems to help me knit together my fragmented thoughts. Often, by the time I’m finished, my mind feels unified. I recommend you find your own version of this ritual, Aries. From what I can tell, you need to get rounder and softer.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the mid-19th century, French art was dominated by the government-sponsored Salon, whose conservative policies thwarted upcoming new trends like Impressionism. One anti-authoritarian painter who rebelled was Camille Pissarro. “What is the best way to further the evolution of French art?” he was asked. “Burn down the Louvre,” he replied. The Louvre, as you may know, was and still is a major art museum in Paris. Judging from your current astrological omens, I surmise that you might want to make a symbolic statement equivalent to Pissarro’s. It’s time for you to graduate from traditions that no longer feed you so you can freely seek out new teachers and influences.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil,” is a request that Christians make of God when they say the Lord’s Prayer. If we define “temptation” as an attraction to things that feel good even though they’re bad for you, this part of the prayer is perfectly reasonable. But what if “temptation” is given a different interpretation? What if it means an attraction to something that feels pleasurable and will ultimately be healthy for you even though it initially causes disruptions? I suggest you consider experimenting with this alternative definition, Gemini. For now, whatever leads you into temptation could possibly deliver you from evil.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “You get tragedy where the tree, instead of bending, breaks,” said the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein. But you don’t have to worry about that outcome, Cancerian. The storm might howl and surge, but it will ultimately pass. And although your tree may bend pretty far, it will not break. Two weeks from now, you won’t be mourning your losses, but rather celebrating your flexibility and resilience. Congratulations in advance!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): It’s a perfect time to start reclaiming some of the superpowers you had when you were a child. What’s that you say? You didn’t have any superpowers? That’s not true. Before you entered adolescence, you could see things and know things and feel things that were off-limits, even unknown, to most adults. You possessed a capacity to love the world with wild purity. Your innocence allowed you to be in close touch with the intelligence of animals and the spirits of the ancestors. Nature was so vividly alive to you that you could hear its songs. Smells were more intense. The dreams you had at night were exciting and consoling. Your ability to read people’s real energy — and not be fooled by their social masks — was strong. Remember?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Not all darkness is bad. You know that. Sometimes you need to escape from the bright lights. It can be restorative to sit quietly in the pitch blackness and drink in the mystery of the Great Unknown. The same is true for silence and stillness and aloneness. Now and then you’ve got to retreat into their protective sanctuary. Dreaming big empty thoughts in the tranquil depths can heal you and recharge you. The magic moment has arrived for this kind of rejuvenation, Virgo.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the movie *Clueless,* the character played by Alicia Silverstone describes someone as a “full-on Monet.” What she means is that the person in question is like a painting by the French Impressionist artist Claude Monet. “From far away, it’s OK,” says Silverstone. “But up close, it’s a big old mess.” You may still be at the far-away point in your evaluation of a certain situation in your own life, Libra. It appears interesting, even attractive, from a distance. When you draw nearer, though, you may find problems. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should abandon it altogether. Maybe you can fix the mess so it’s as engaging up-close as it is from far away.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your power animal for the coming months is the Bateleur eagle of Africa. In the course of searching for its meals, it covers about 250 square miles every day. It thinks big. It has a spacious scope. I hope you get inspired by its example, Scorpio. In 2014, I’d love to see you enlarge the territory where you go hunting for what you want. Fate will respond favorably if you expand your ideas about how to gather the best allies and resources. As for this week, I suggest you get very specific as you identify the goals you will pursue in the coming months by exploring farther and wider.
Homework: spot three different ways YOU could expand your vision, move your glance, or look beyond the limited meanings, so you can start to be ready for the Upgrade. Comment below if you feel generous today.
I first participated in what is now called Landmark Education back in 1985, the last weekend of August, in Haifa Israel.
I lived in an immigration hostel, I worked as an architect and town planner in Jerusalem and I was miserable.
In quick succession two Russian immigrants killed themselves: I knew and liked them both. One of them was so determined that she manage to hang herself from the window bars, even though the window sill was only about 20 inches… Knee high.
I was going to be next. Except that someone invited me to something on a Wednesday evening.