Filters… or where are you listening from?

Where does the truth I say come from? Stream of consciousness.

I write the largest chunks of surprising truths that way. Something triggers it, and there it comes. Quick, let me get to the computer!

I read Kathryn’s comment on the Worry article, and something clicked. Continue reading “Filters… or where are you listening from?”

Worry. Worry. Worry. Just worry and you won’t win

worry takes today's strength awayI have to admit, I would have never thought to write this article, without reading Andy Shaw’s book, Creating a Bug Free Mind. He writes extensively about worry.

I never thought of myself as a worrier, but, of course, I still worry from time to time. Nowhere near as much as others.

They call it fear of failure, anxiety, but it is all worry. Continue reading “Worry. Worry. Worry. Just worry and you won’t win”

Stuck? What does it really mean to be stuck? What is stuck?

Stuck is mostly a feeling, not a fact. It is coupled with an emotion.

It is unpleasant because feeling limited is what it’s about.

As if you didn’t have a choice, as if you were weighed down, or restricted by some heavy weight.

And some of those stuck feelings are accurate: you are kind of stuck… You could be in prison. Or you could be stuck in an iron lung. Maybe you’ve lost your legs. Continue reading “Stuck? What does it really mean to be stuck? What is stuck?”

Do you lie to yourself? On how many things? How often?

belief trumps truthI got this email that is very apropos.

Here is what that email said:

This describes a lot of people:

‘Pathological liars on the path of least resistance.’

It’s an accurate portrayal, though not too flattering.

I’m talking about people lying to THEMSELVES, which are the worst kind of lies.

What kind of lies are they telling?

‘If I just work a little smarter, I will.’
‘When I get more organized, I will.’
‘If I can just free up a little more time, I will …’
‘I will just work just a little faster, and I will’

Does any of this sound familiar – even a little?

They’re ALL familiar to me because I used to use these lies to give myself hope.

I could temporarily relieve the pain of mediocrity…

…by daydreaming about all the amazing things I was going to do in the future.

Daydreaming. Buying stuff and not using it. Signing up to workshops and not doing the work.

Yeah, I think I am talking about nearly everyone.

Whether the area where you lie is your eating habits, working habits, relationship habits, it seems to be human to lie.

The truth hurts and humans are sissies. Crumble in the face of emotional pain.

Lying is the path of least resistance, the easiest path to take.

When in my workshops I tell people, individuals, that they are lying, they are stumped. Confused. Why am I lying? They ask… and there you have it, another lie on the top of a lie.

This is a problem that can be solved, because it is a real problem.

It is a real problem because of a rule of reality, that without integrity nothing works. Without integrity your life can’t work. Without integrity life can only limp along. like a bicycle with a crooked wheel.

Of course integrity is also not a 100% yes/no phenomenon: it is in degrees.

Like a little bit bent bicycle can still take you home. but a bicycle with wheels with no spokes won’t.

One of the lies that very few people are aware of, because most of it is below the conscious level is the lying about the context.

Context is the background, the attitude underneath an action.

Some contexts are on the side of life, some contexts are aligned with the actual actions, but most don’t.

Here is an example: you are a wife, and you shop and prepare food for your family. On the surface you are a loving, caring woman. But underneath the visible, you feel used. You feel that you don’t have any time for yourself. You feel that shopping, cooking, being a wife, being a mother is a burden.

And what is the result that is in the visible?

The food you buy is not healthy for your family. Your activity promotes death, not life.

Or an example against yourself:

You say you want to be healthy. You say you’ll do whatever it takes to be happy, healthy, and wise.

But what you don’t see, what you discount, is that you hate yourself. You think poorly of yourself. You, unknown to yourself, wish yourself dead.

And that is the underlying attitude in whatever you do.

I have had clients with cancer. They allowed their cancer to advance until the best anyone can do is lengthen their lives. all because the underlying attitude of self-hate.

self-hateSelf-hate is the result of lying. Lying to yourself. You betray yourself and then you lie about it.

I used to be like that more than I care to admit.

The email’s sender (above) talked about one kind of lies… the lies of delusion. But there are other kinds of lies, ‘the lies of getting off the hook’ I call them.

I’ve tended towards those. The lies when I say ‘I cannot take it‘, or ‘I cannot do it’. or ‘I am not smart enough

Or ‘I don’t have the time’. Maybe this: ‘I already have too much to do‘.

Either one of those is an effective lie to get me off the hook of being in integrity with myself, and do what is mine to do. Do what I said I would do and do it on time. And do it well…

But why do we lie?

I have a theory that the first lie we told ourselves was around the time when personhood began to emerge, around age three.

When some traumatic incident happened, to you or around you. But it was traumatic to you.

And you tried to find an explanation.

At age three is everything is about you.

  • There is a storm. and it’s about you.
  • Or your mother cries. and that is about you too.
  • Your parents get divorced. and of course that is about you too.
  • Your mother gives birth to another child, and it is about you…

And of course you don’t know you are lying. You say to yourself the best truth that you have available at the time.

But then you build a life on the top of that first lie. and of course you have to lie again, and again, and again.

Each lie comes naturally. because the original lie is never unconcealed, never revealed as a lie. And lies have a nature: they want more of themselves.

I have noticed that the more a client knows they are lying the faster they can start telling the truth, and the better their life becomes.

And the more the lies are unconscious and never seen as lies, the less they can grow. If they had cancer before and it’s healed. it returns again and again and again. until they start seeing the lies.

Unless you see you are lying, you can’t even begin telling the truth. You can’t.

How do you know that a lawyer is lying? His mouth is moving.

That lawyer knows he is lying. You don’t. or mostly don’t.

One moment you are cock-sure, the other moment you are second-guessing yourself. You take one step forward and two steps backward. And, of course, you are plagued with self-doubt. You are plagued with overwhelm.

So what can you do?

Start telling the truth.

One by one. or said differently: one at a time.

This is not a rote ‘I have to do this‘ kind of assignment. this won’t work unless you do it willingly, with the anticipation of freedom and joy on the other side.

Because context is decisive.

Unless you do whatever you do, including finding your lies, and telling the truth, you do it inside an empowering context, it backfires and adds to your lack of integrity and self-hate.

Start with completion
Another word for integrity, the price of self-love, is completion.

When you are complete, you tell the truth. Tell the truth about what you have been lying, consciously of unconsciously.

It is a miraculous process. But you have to tell the truth. So it is not necessarily pleasant as a process, but what comes out of it is wonderful. Self-love.

Transformation… and your worth a damn score

Transformation doesn’t change a thing. Without transformation you had your life and whatever was going on with it.

With transformation

With transformation you still have the same life and the same whatever’s going on with it (like I said, it doesn’t change a thing). What changes with transformation is the context. Continue reading “Transformation… and your worth a damn score”

The ‘hidden’ attitude that eats your lunch…

The ‘hidden’ attitude that eats your lunch. And leaves you clueless as if to what happened

Yesterday I was on a group coaching call where people had a chance to get on the ‘hot seat’, meaning they could lay out their issue and get coaching.

This is a business coaching group I am a part of. Continue reading “The ‘hidden’ attitude that eats your lunch…”

Humility. A desirable virtue. But what is the issue with it?

I know arroganceArrogance is what most people bring to their interactions with people and things.

Arrogance says: I know. But you don’t. Or maybe know a little, but not all. Or again, maybe everything you know is wrong, and will take you to ruin.

But your arrogance prevents you from looking in directions you haven’t looked, asking questions that are different from you are asking. Arrogance makes you ask the kinds of questions that can’t and won’t help you, because they are apple-polishing. You already have your direction. Continue reading “Humility. A desirable virtue. But what is the issue with it?”

What prevents you from getting ahead in life?

giraffe-in-treeThis series of articles are exploring the hidden aspects of what holds you back from growing, from moving, from raising your vibration, from transformation, from living a life consistent with your abilities

When we look at your life, we see that there is a gap between what you are capable of, and what you are accomplishing. Especially in the areas of quality of life, accomplishment, and self-expression. Continue reading “What prevents you from getting ahead in life?”

How you can use the beluga whale that loves to scare people

Knowledge is only rumor until it is in the muscle‘ ~ New Guinea Proverb

A recurrent emotional state always appears together with the attitude of the body…‘ ~ Moshe Feldenkrais

If I could say it I wouldn’t have to dance it.‘ ~ Isadora Duncan

Juno a beluga whale that loves scaring people
by u/m3nation007 in funny

We’ll use the beluga whale that loves to scare people later in this article, but for now… some context.

A few years ago a dude paid me to measure his vibration. Then he went and shared it publicly on a big website, something like light warriors, I don’t remember. Or starseed something.

I read just now that considering one a starseed, a cross between an alien and a human is fueled with radical individualism. whatever that means.

On my website, in this reality based work we call that the delusion of being special. Being special beyond being an unrepeatable human…

That is the ‘angle’ of wanting to be special…

While very rich…

very successful humans do special things that are only special because most others don’t do it…

…instead of just wanting to be special for no reason.

So when Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon.com asked what new things will come, he answered that instead of the new things which are not predictable, he recommended focusing and putting energy into what won’t change. People will want fast shipping, larger selection, good customer service, he said, and that way of thinking made him a billionaire many times over.

focusing and putting energy into what won’t change

But for that you need to look outside, beyond yourself…

I have found that looking, thinking outside of yourself is the hardest thing for today’s human. And when they occasionally do, because I ask them, or they are in some challenge, they come back and are thrilled. It was an event. An incident.

But they never do it again.

But why? If it allows for peace, quiet, and harmony… If it allows for peace of mind, generosity, real contribution… then why?

When you watch the white beluga clip, you’ll see that each child reacts slightly differently. How do you know? Because their body reaction, body movements give away what their emotional reaction is.

And you don’t know that, but I’ll tell you:

you’ll repeat that bodily and emotional reaction throughout your life, leading to the same emotional state

The emotional state I call your ‘home page’ because that incident puts in motion a ‘machine’ or machine-like dynamic that is going to repeat that scenario: reaction to something… doing whatever you did in the first incident… and then you get to the home page conclusion.

A cycle of that machine.

Mine starts with surprise. Confusion. Then I scramble. Overwhelm. And end up devastated. Discarded. Worthless. That is where I end up. Devastated. Discarded. Worthless.

Not a good script. I am currently in the confusion phase… just beginning the scramble phase.

Most people’s home page is worthless.

Why? Inside the systemic value system you are either excellent or horrible. Valuable or worthless. Valued or discarded.

And we are all born with a systemic judgment capability only. The additional dimensions are added later… if ever.

I just measured eleven of my clients.

And have come to the conclusion that the more you have been able to be in the higher value system, the more dimensions things, people, events are perceived by you the higher your chances for success.

What do I call success? Whatever YOU call success. I don’t have a measure for that. you get to say.

If you want money as the measure of success? Then success means money, and that is what I measure. If it is fulfillment, or love, or health. then that is what I measure. I don’t even have to know. Source knows.

Five of the eleven haven’t even peeked outside of the systemic. They live inside the right/wrong paradigm. No success is possible there.

The rest are between 10% and 70%.

Only when you have experienced, not as an event, but as a different world, the world with more dimensions than two, are you going to go for giving any heed, any attention, any importance to the other.

The way to come out of that deeeeeeeeeeeeep ditch

The way to come out of that deeeeeeeeeeeeep ditch, the ditch of the binary, is to make frequent efforts to give a hoot about how others feel. Darn. lol

The capacity to do that is The Sight, and specifically the Driftwood, which is an aspect of The Sight.

Obviously the client who did the most work with that capacity is the one with the 70% score.

You can only grow gradually.

The light warriors, the starseed are all stuck in the binary, if you have been wondering. It’s all about them. Maybe some of them are exceptions, but only a very few.

Now, back to the white beluga video: Pay attention to the body of the children. The head, the neck, the shoulders…

Experiment with your own. And watch as the predictable emotion arises. and if you are not careful, the machine runs a full cycle, and you’ll end up on your home page.

The emotion. The worthlessness. Hopelessness. Resignation.

Did you do it?

Please comment below or send me in email what was your LAST emotion. your home page. I’ll muscletest for you if you followed instruction or not.

Meanwhile, tomorrow, Saturday July 29 at 5 pm my time we’ll have a workshop to experiment if you can move your body in different ways to get different emotions…

It is a worthwhile learning. Why? Because if you can get that your emotions are embedded in body positions, then you can always do a reset. an intentional state change, and free yourself from that pesky trigger for your machine.

Wouldn’t it be worth for you?

If you have been always ending at worthless. beating yourself up. giving up on yourself. You wouldn’t have to. You would be able to continue with your projects, and build a life you love.

Yeah.

Learn to counter your emotional trigger

The more you ‘know’ the less you have beginner’s mind

You never know because you can’t know. So what you know is the problem…
  • But if you keep on doing what you have been doing, exactly the same way…
  • If you look at the same things the same way every day…
  • If your cone of vision remains so narrow that when you look at yourself you can’t see anything and anyone else…

Then you’ll miss what could be your path to the life you were meant to live. Continue reading “The more you ‘know’ the less you have beginner’s mind”