I have been having suicidal thoughts… What does the echo say?

being guided by the echoSometimes having someone to talk to, someone who can listen, instead of trying to solve your problems, is the best thing that can happen to you.

But there are things that are hard to share.

And then, if you are the one who is supposed to be there for others, no one expects you to have problems, or to be there for you. You are alone, and that is that.

All my life I have been the strong one, and no one ever expected me to need them to listen to me. So when I needed someone to listen, I had to pay them. It’s expensive. And now I don’t even trust anyone to just listen… so it’s tough.
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Why I haven’t written anything in two days…

I am getting emails worrying about my well-being…

Please don’t worry. It is quite normal to write when I have something to say, and not write when I don’t.

Often what there is to say is still incubating… after all, I never write from my mind, I never write what I already know, all my writing is an act of creation. And creation cannot be forced.
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Yup, I am afraid, too

chains-fallingI am afraid of ridicule. I am afraid of being thrown out. I am afraid of being called a witch.

Yup, fear is normal. You, me, would not have survived without fear.

I am also afraid of bugs. Of mice. Of a lot of things.

The question is: am I going to honor that fear as my “Higher power” or am I going to honor something else?
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The pioneers are usually the ones with the arrows in their back…

antisocial-behavior-conformistsEven the first follower can be in big trouble…

We think it’s courage that a pioneer needs, but I dare to differ. It is more like “I can take arrows front and back for something that is important to me”.

The core of it is the “something that is important to me”. That is the biggest lacking, because that is the seed of what looks like courage, or what looks like a “devil cares” attitude.
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You are 3% Neanderthal… is that a good thing?

Reprinted…

I find myself weeping, gripped with remorse… remorse the injustice 30,000 years ago… Remorse for the loss of brilliance, the loss of future that could have been.

Watch the documentary in the end, if you have time.

If you can weep, you have empathy. If you can’t… oh well…

First genocide of human beings occurred 30,000 years ago

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Why Being Cunning prevents humans from becoming god-like?

the-direction-of-human-evolution... devolutionHumans, this cunning species, want to know everything to be secure and superior

All the animals, all the plants on the planet are “fitting in with the system” we call Life.

Humans, on the other hand want to “beat the system” we call Life.

We’ve been doing it for a long time… for about 30 thousand years.
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There is no way around it, only through it

funny but not true: hell is other people before coffeeHumans have been living on their periphery, through their organs of perception that look outward, through their periphery, the life that we call the horizontal plane.

On the horizontal plane what you see is the other. You don’t see yourself. You may feel your body, you may feel your feelings, but you don’t see yourself.

You see your effect on others. You see the other, that may be a reflection of you… if you can recognize it as such.
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What will be your epitaph? What will be written on your tombstone?

epitaph: I told you the milk was badIf you had my life, I bet you would find it boring. I don’t have a television, I don’t read the newspaper, I don’t browse the web, I don’t go to teleseminars, I don’t chat with friends… except two.

I don’t do sports, I don’t go shopping, I don’t have dreams and aspirations, I don’t eat out, I don’t worry about my weight, about my health, about my neighbors.
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Middle of the road – wisdom or mistake?

One of the biggest challenges for me on the path is to stay in the middle. Neither left nor right…

  • Neither too egotistic, nor self-cheating.
  • Neither too buoyant nor down in the dumps.
  • Neither accepting nor refusing credit.
  • Neither too nice nor too rude to people and myself.
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The Work: Understanding vs. Seeing

see-understandSome of you do the work: you know who you are.

The most frequent issue that comes through to me in email is trying to understand.

But there is an issue with that.

The Thinking Man, i.e. the Man of the Mind, thinks about it, tries to understand.
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