As I am continuing giving long and substantial "strategy sessions" to people, I am learning a lot.
I am seeing stuff that cannot be see through feeling. I am seeing stuff that won't come through in the Starting Point Measurements, no matter how good a tool muscle testing is. Some things won't even become clear in a short call...
I love the expression: "in the limited perspective of the human mind" and now I am inclined to add that even inside the human mind, you can look at things through different perception organs... and you'll see more if you use more than just your favorite.
Most people's "perception organ" is to turn to, habitually, to what they have already decided. The mind.
This gives you the least true-to-reality perception, obviously.
This topic comes from a reader, thank you. Without her prompting I would have never looked there. It would have been a big missing.
I am going to share only what I really know, from my experience, not some theories of some big names, like Freud... I am giving you only Tree of Life.
In my experience, most people have self-punishment to some degree.
There are quite a few ways to get to guilt and shame, which is at the root of this behavior.
Self-punishment for doing something wrong, lack of self-discipline
One way is to do things that we know are wrong. We want it, desire it fervently, and then we do it. If the environment is unforgiving or we have even seen anyone punished, verbally or physically, we expect to be punished.
Desire for pleasure is like a two-sided coin (do you know a coin that is not two sided? lol). One side is the fulfillment of the want or desire for pleasure, the other side is always misery. Why? Because pleasure is momentary. It comes with a downside, and the downside is either guilt, or more desire plus guilt. Continue reading "Self-Punishment, Self-Punishing Behavior"
Learning is humbling. Especially humbling is learning about yourself, and learning about your need to change
Your Precious "I", (whether you believe it or not, whether you know it or not, the precious "I" is in every single person,) and it wants to have and retain the self-image unchanged, the self-image that says you know everything. It wants to keep the self-image where it is superior. Where you are OK.
It is easier to see it on others than on yourself.
I was looking for good pictures to go with this topic, and I was struck to what degree people think that what they have as their past is what happened in the past.
100% of what happened, what you say happened, what you remember happened, actually didn't happen. You only remember what you said about it... the meanings, the interpretations. Not what happened in reality.
Getting to see what is in reality, what was in reality, takes work, and a serious change in how you look.
This article will be most useful for my students, who have been doing that work for a long time, some of them as long as a full year...
So if what I am saying doesn't make a lot of sense... consider that it should not... You don't have the foundation, the skills, the capacities that only practice can give you... Real practice. Deliberate practice.
It's really hot here. I don't use air conditioning, and I don't sweat. So I am really hot. And I am still digesting a lot of things... and it's not a good idea to write about half baked stuff... or not often.
I don't feel like writing. But I feel like telling you something, so I whipped out my headset and made an audio... a podcast if you will.
I learned this method from MY mentor, Robert Plank... you can talk a lot faster than you can write... and it gets you over the hump...
It was inspired by this article and this TED talk.
There are emotions and then there are the effects of emotions. But
all emotions can cause incoherence.
You know you are incoherent when your decisions are wrong, and take you down the path of self-destruction or hurting yourself or someone else. When you can't hear what someone is saying. When you find your attention wandering. When you are not present.
Some emotions' energy goes outward, other emotions' energy goes inward.
Either type of emotions,
in a weak person, wreak havoc and cause devastation. A strong person can harness their outward emotions to move mountains, to accomplish, to achieve, to grow.
And a strong person can accept their inward going emotions as not necessary, not rolevant, and let them go.
And it is either an inside job, or an outside job.
I am more motivated, more nudged on to do a move, to do something, to make a change in behavior by the stick than by the carrot... the inside stick...
Most carrots promise you some goodies... goodies you don't already have, or more of what you already have. But human preference is not in that direction. No matter how trapped you are in desire, wanting, being induced to doing anything for what you want is really rare, unless it is for instant gratification. 1