We all have multiple personalities… One is delusional

We are in the midst of the Drink your food challenge.

I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know what will happen… what spiritual, what intellectual, what personality issues will be driven up.

Here is what I am getting: people find themselves in the GAP. The gap between who they think they are, and who they are proven to be by the challenge.

This article from 2018 will shed a lot of light on what’s going on. Continue reading “We all have multiple personalities… One is delusional”

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your teeth

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. ~ Alan Watts.

Lots of people like this quote. They like it because few people are even able to go one step further than thinking of defining themselves from their minds.

One of my students tried. He said: ‘I work for this and this company. I am intimate and loving.

Now, let me ask you: why define yourself? For what purpose?

Blog-Social-ExpectationsDo you think that matters? Do you think that different purposes will result in a different definition?

If I ask you to describe yourself so when I come to our meeting place I can recognize you, if you don’t say anything about your height and such, I will surely think you as a moron and cancel our appointment.

If you want to be a driver for me, and you talk about your job at blah, I will not even answer your email.

My current driver was the only one out of 250 applicants who defined herself saying ‘I am punctual, I am a decent driver, and I am good company…’ I hired her without asking any more questions. She was intelligent enough to look at the question as ‘what will be my experience with you driving me to places?’

She used three different verbal tools to communicate to me what to expect

  1. promise
  2. assessment
  3. declaration

She promised to be punctual. She assessed her driving as decent. And she declared to be good company.

The last one, the declaration, now became her core identity in our relationship. I don’t continue riding with her because she is punctual. Nor because she drives decently.

I ride with her because she has a commitment to be good company.

And she has been… in spite of some potential glitches. Amazing.

define_yourself_by_felisy-d5067hjYour core identity is a commitment.

It’s a vow. It is the flag you carry. Ultimately it is what defines you.

At this point…

At this point your core identity is your thinly veiled hidden nature that you hope won’t come out. Like belligerent, like nasty, like ‘when it gets tough I’ll leave’, like ‘I’ll do everything to dupe you’. ‘I’ll argue with you.’ ‘I think I am smarter than you.’ ‘Hey, I’ll get my money’s worth. Not in value but in being a time-suck.’ etc.

Before we can CREATE a core identity that will serve us, we need to tell the truth about the hidden identity, so we can manage it. It’s the mud through which we need to go through to reach the solid rock, so we can build something worth building, in spite of the mud.

And when the mud shows up again, we can say to it ‘I know who you are… go back where you came from’

Your assignment in developing your brain, developing your thinking is to define yourself to

1. a potential mate
2. a potential teacher
3. a coach in a project
4. a project leader who considers you making part of the team
5. a head hunter
6. a talent scout
7. a friend wanting to mooch on you

Do not lie. Say only facts or promises/declarations that you can keep.

How to do this assignment that it becomes a self-growth, self-developing exercise?

Imagine scenarios where you are taken into scenarios where your behavior/attitude is important.

  1. how will you be if you are caught exchanging intimate words with your ex?
  2. how will you be if your new mate/your boss/your teacher yells at you?
  3. Who/how will you be if you are accused of not carrying your weight in the new team?
  4. how will you be if someone asks you for something that is beyond what you promised?
  5. how will you be if someone asks why you are not sharing your wealth?
Lots of confronting scenarios mean lots of learning, growing experience.

If you don’t like how you have been in a similar situation, invent a new way of being, and test it out in your imagination. If you like it, become that kind of person.

Make sure that these are not silent movies: the words are important. The words reflect your attitude, your hidden Self.

One of my students suddenly inherited money. She is now encountering, in her real life, situations that in the past had a predictable outcome.

Saying no is a problem for many of us, saying no gracefully and with authority is something you need to learn, you need to practice.

You won’t become an independent powerful person overnight. If you have been a door mat, a people pleaser, a victim, a bully, a despot, you will need to practice ways of being of an independent powerful person. It won’t be easy.

define-yourselfIf you just read this article,

If you just read this article, but have no intention to do the practices, please do yourself and me a favor: GO AWAY. Do not poison the air on my blog any more.

Go to Christie Marie Sheldon or Teal Scott… they are perfect for you.

For those of you who can’t decide. Or if you are unclear… I am having other posts coming: this is the most important skill you can learn.

If you are having a difficulty, but are COMMITTED to become a person, start with the Reality Challenge. It will take you to a place where this exercise will be the next logical step.

What prevents you from getting ahead in life?

giraffe-in-treeThis series of articles are exploring the hidden aspects of what holds you back from growing, from moving, from raising your vibration, from transformation, from living a life consistent with your abilities

When we look at your life, we see that there is a gap between what you are capable of, and what you are accomplishing. Especially in the areas of quality of life, accomplishment, and self-expression. Continue reading “What prevents you from getting ahead in life?”

Your attitude in relation to yourself: your self-esteem

self-image,self-esteem are both an attitude towards yourselfSummary: Attitude. the most potent invisible builder of your life. or the invisible destroyer of your life. Destroyer of your dreams, of your results, of your relationships.

It is invisible to you, but glaringly obvious to others.

Isn’t it time you took an inventory and start changing your attitudes, one by one. As an Expanding Human Being, I study. A lot. I study books, movies, people, myself. Sometimes there is no rhyme and reason in my studying, and sometimes, like now, there is.

Perceived as an expert

I have recently found a teacher who teaches people how to become an expert and market themselves as such, online.

Most people that learn from this guy are already experts at some things, but… It is one thing to be an expert, and another to be perceived as an expert. People go by their perception, not by the fact, in reality, people have no idea what they see, only what they perceive.
Continue reading “Your attitude in relation to yourself: your self-esteem”

How high can you go from where you are? Tai Lopez review

I monitor visitor behavior on my site… to see how they treat my articles… I spend a few minutes a week, in the morning. It often gives me an idea of what to write about, what to teach next.

This article is a result of those few minutes of looking today.

Oh, I mostly look at people who signed up to get an email notification each time I publish a new article… by the way. Those people have expressed interest, so I want to see what people who say ‘I am interested’ are doing. Continue reading “How high can you go from where you are? Tai Lopez review”

Self-trust… a linchpin capacity… can you develop it?

scared-to-take-the-next-stepHow do you develop yourself to be able to move forward? To grow?

Many of my coaching students are at a crucial point in their lives where unless something happens, they probably won’t move forward.

Fear, unclarity, self-centeredness, belligerence…

The main attitude is different for each person. Not one person resembles another in what seems to block their path.

A perfect example of the Anna Karenina Principle: a deficiency in any one of a number of factors dooms an endeavor to failure. All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way

All people who move forward are alike. All stuck people are stuck in their own way.

Continue reading “Self-trust… a linchpin capacity… can you develop it?”

The purpose of the Reality Challenge is to find your Self

If you ever tried to meditate. If you are a ‘meditator’. And if the idea of meditation brings up bile to your throat… like for me.

OK who else? Oh, those who couldn’t give a shriveled nut for the idea of mediation… so all people…

The only thing meditation wants you to do is to look within. You spend almost all your life looking outward, and have no idea about what is inside. Continue reading “The purpose of the Reality Challenge is to find your Self”

Distaste: the orienting feeling that you want to know

We all want to learn about ourselves… Knowledge is power. Understanding allows us to make sense of why things happen the way they do.

We are going to learn a new word that expresses a feeling that you have collapsed, you have confused with others… to end up with no clarity. There are about a thousand words in the English language like that.

Most of them are manipulated to misguide you.

One of the gems I’ve mined from the book ‘Feelings‘ is isolating a particular feeling, the orienting feeling of distaste. Continue reading “Distaste: the orienting feeling that you want to know”

Why do you need humility to learn anything? Skills, habits

learning and humilityLearning is humbling. Especially humbling is learning about yourself, and learning about your need to change.

You have a Precious I. Whether you believe it or not, whether you know it or not, the precious I is in every single person.

And your precious I wants to have and retain the self-image unchanged, the self-image that says you know everything. That you are the center of the Universe. You are special. And it wants to keep the self-image where it is superior. Where you are, therefore, OK. Continue reading “Why do you need humility to learn anything? Skills, habits”

Self-Awareness and the The Sideways View…

How Self-Awareness is the Key to Happiness, Effectiveness, Intelligent Decisions… The Sideways View

self-awareness-2I thought I was going to have a domestic day. you know laundry, dishes, stuff. and watch myself, my emotions, and have a good old time.

The weather is gorgeous. My neighborhood is even prettier in the fall than in the summer. you can see far. and the contrast of the blue sky and the rusty color of the leaves and branches is really beautiful.

The thought: ‘I could actually be happy‘. The though of being cured. These thoughts were very present there for a few minutes. I made myself a nice cup of tea, and checked my email.

There was a note there from Youtube that I have a comment on my ‘Why are Jews smart?‘ video, so I went to check it out.
Continue reading “Self-Awareness and the The Sideways View…”