One of the most important things I know is that you are smart. That you have earned to be here. You have tried a lot of other teachers or gurus or methods or tools to get what you want: more energy, better decisions, more love, more peace, a sense of meaning in your life.
There is no way to throw a dart and get to the right solution, every mistake you make, every wrong turn, wrong decision, believing false promises, falling pray to money-sucking gurus or cults have caused you to get here, zig-zag.
The more often you have been disappointed, the more hopeless it seemed, the more of your funds were eaten up, the smarter you have become, and the more ready you have become to actually see your way, do your work. You haven't given up. Good.
I spent yesterday reading the novel the 1997 Dutch film (Character) was based upon. Of course they changed a few things, and the film left me in deep quandary. The title didn't make sense. The whole dynamic didn't make sense. So I read the book.
Most movies' ending is clear... this is probably only the second movie that left me with questions: WTF just happened? The other movie is the 2002 Chinese movie "Together".
Anyway, I read the Character book. It was written in 1938.
I did learn what the title was about. And I learned a lot more.
Summary: some six thousand years ago a mind virus was introduced. It lead to the rise of a strong ruling class and a sheep-like plebs. In this article I introduce the first ever remedy to the mind virus: the Unification Energy.
You see, humans have a strong inner connection to wisdom through connecting to All-Knowledge, but the mind virus severed, blocked the connection between the part of each human that connects and the part that they consider themselves to be... the part that has the mind, the subconscious, the body, and the Ego. The part that will look for nourishment, guidance, leadership, meaning, outside: on the horizontal plane.
Spirituality, finding your way, finding your self, the path to living a life worth living use different tools from science, schools, the mind, and ordinary thinking.
Not just different tools, but tools used differently.
If you haven't found what you are seeking... if your seeking has taken you on a wild goose chase only to find nothing of value for yourself... then you owe it to yourself to learn to use the tools and to use them in new ways.