As difficult as dirty dishes can be, they’re even worse when you let them sit for a while. And the longer they sit, the harder they are to clean.

This is life. Something that is potentially easy to clean up right after it happens – an unkind word to your father, a lie to your best friend, an insensitivity to your girlfriend – can become a difficult mess if you don’t deal with it now.

Do the dishes today.

I have been thinking about Kaizen a lot. Kaizen can be the saving grace for a lot of people, because Kaizen is a way of life, a non-threatening way, but it is an awake way, and most of us are not awake, get jolted out of our sleepwalking by big things only. I am awake, and Kaizen is for me.

So I decided to use Kaizen to ease back into exercising. Since I stopped exercising, my face aged 10-20 years. That is a lot. I used to have no wrinkles, now I have folds, and wrinkles inside the folds… not pretty.

I have no special occasion to be pretty at, I just think that looking into the mirror should be a joyous occasion, not an occasion to berate myself.

So I am now doing 15 seconds of the exercise I used to do. I am happy. It is starting to show on my face. Hm.

Another Kaizen thing: in airplane bathrooms there is a sign that says something like this: would you be so kind as to use your paper towel to clean the sink before you throw it away?

Very Kaizen. Imagine going to the bathroom and someone’s soapy dirty washwater is still in the sink. (The airplane sink stopper needs to be manually lifted, otherwise it stops the water from emptying…) I would never wash my hand again on an airplane. But with that little Kaizen note, most 99% of the passengers follow the instructions, and everyone washes their hand. (I think that sign also reminds people to wash their hands, which many people don’t see a reason for… ).

And the third Kaizen example I read about in a Kaizen book, and it is about Toyota. The factory. They learned Kaizen from Americans… who would have thought… from Americans.

At Toyota, manufacturing cars happens on the assembly line. Nothing new there. In a normal assembly line everyone is concerned only about their part of the assembly, and the occasional errors are noticed and corrected, or not noticed and not corrected at the quality control station.

Toyota’s then CEO installed a rope switch above every workstation along the assembly line, where workers were asked to pull the rope every time they noticed an error in the work on the half-assembled car in front of them. The pull stopped the assembly line, they corrected the error, and pulled again to re-start…

It was a heretic idea, going counter with mass production. American auto manufacturers, that relied on quality control, had thousands of cars recalled, paid billions in restitution for tiny errors that weren’t corrected right after they happened.

Toyota went on to become the most reliable car. 250K cars are still sold and they run the highways: it is commonplace, while even an ‘error-free’ American car would be proud to run till 200K.

Which leads me to the ‘boundaries’ part.

It is still my cat that is on my mind. Or my previous failed relationship. Or my previous failed New Year resolution. Where, in all circumstances, I ignored, put up with, tolerated, shut a blind eye to a small aberration, a small violation of my boundaries, a little mistake, a little skipping… and they all became the core of a snow ball and destroyed an otherwise hopeful relationship, or my health, or my results.

Do the dishes soon after they get dirty. And stay awake. I have learned my lesson.

The post Doing The Dishes, Kaizen, Boundaries, more first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

How Finding Out What’s Wrong With You Is The Ticket To Peace of Mind, Grace and Ease and Power

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. Not tears of gratitude, not tears of joy. Just tears.

Most people teach from their mind. Most people teach from the Tree of Knowledge.

Tree of Knowledge, simply, means speaking from what you already know, what you store in your memory.

A “real” teacher is different, and very very rare.

A real teacher is always a student. And as student learn with all the people they teach, at the same time. Not what you would think: they are also taking course, they also have teachers. That is not what I mean. That doesn’t make them real teachers.

A real teacher, like me, learn as they speak.

How is that possible? It’s possible because I do not speak from my mind. I speak from the nothing (space) behind my mind. From the space of mystery, from the space that cannot be known.

That is why I am so nervous, anxious, stiff as a board before I approach a new topic. I have no idea what I am going to say.

This was, exactly, the case yesterday when I lead my first Brilliance at Will class. Looking back, I was exactly as agitated, nervous, stressed out as I used to be, every time, I was going to do the Landmark Education Forum. I did that course 20 times, but it was always from the mystery: what am I going to find out about myself now?

Someone said somewhere that man is the greatest mystery to himself, or something like that. Oh yeah…

Anything that can be revealed and turned into no-mystery isn’t true mystery. Mystery novels aren’t, and the “mysteries” of nature aren’t… if it can be revealed it isn’t mystery.

But, as you will see, man IS a mystery. Every which way you look, you can only see a little bit of it, and the whole depth of the mystery is never revealed.

Of course the “mind people” (what they call the ‘little brain people’ in the movie ‘Defending your life’ lol) always seem to find the end of mystery, and their lives is the lives of a dullard, the life of meaninglessness, making it and surviving.

I teach people to get out of their mind and into the mystery.

It is not politically correct to tell your teacher “no” to what they teach, so none of my students say it straight to my face, but a good percentage of them out and out refuse to do that…

I am a likable teacher because I care about my students. So they do stuff to please me, but not really for themselves.

In my new courses I only accept people that desperately want to get out of the dullard mode (99% of the population, even women! gasp!) Being an empath I can tell.

So, why do I have tears in my eyes?

In yesterday’s workshop we needed to find our “default” name for ourselves, the one that we so desperately try to hide from others. Much like you try to hide that you are there… you pull a blanket over your head only for your feet to hang out… you are not hiding at all.

In all of self-development, this is the most important step: find out who you are for yourself.

In the past 27 years I have gone through all kinds of default names, but none of them were a perfect fit.

The name answers the question: why people don’t like you, why you aren’t where you are supposed to be in life, why why why…

I went through phases. First I was (I am afraid to make commitments) a failure, then I was a throwaway (like a disposable one-use fork or knife), then stupid, then arrogant, I went through a lot of names.

My last one, until today was: I am not wanted.

But because a real teacher is also a student of the course they teach, I kept on pondering. That is the hallmark of a human being, pondering to find answers to their own why questions. (Even my dreams were pondering…)

And I had an insight that may just change how and what I teach from now on. I saw that my actions are consistent with being disgusting. Of course the original name was in Hungarian, and the word is not as horrible in English as it is in Hungarian, but if you tell me the word in Hungarian I’ll cry. Like Pavlov’s dog… ‘gusztustalan’ is the Hungarian word.

Then I looked at some of my students and found that they have a version of disgusting as their default name.

I looked at my life and my parents, and found the next insight: their default name was also disgusting.

YOU DISH OUT WHAT YOU ARE MOST AFRAID OF THAT YOU ARE!

I once had a student whose default name was worthless. He once told me that I was a worthless piece of s-h-i-t.

And if you listen, really listen, I am often disgusted with people. I also dish out what I am most afraid that I am.

I am weeping. For me, for my students, for joy that I took another step into the depth of mystery.

Because once you nail your default name, you have tools to suddenly become well-liked, successful, enjoy life, enjoy peace of mind, grace, ease, and power.

I teach three major moves on my free workshops Mondays and Thursdays, ending on October 1.

You can come to more than one: every time you come you’ll get a piece that didn’t quite make sense the time before.

You can pick a date and then sign up at

There is one warning though: my workshops, like a workshop in a room where we are face to face, demand of you to be there, pay attention, and participate.

If I notice that you are there to lurk, observe, or you are maybe multi-tasking, I’ll dismiss you. Not exceptions.

I run a tight ship. Just interested? Don’t bother. You need to be committed to transformation, to a life of grace, ease and power, to make it with me.

Now, if this is you, head over to sign up. You only have these few sessions available. Once my 8-week course begins, I will not have time to offer free workshops. So go and find out how you can turn your life around and finally enjoy what has eluded you, grace, ease and power… of was it peace of mind?

PS: Your default name will express itself in how you live. If your default name is ‘disgusting’ you will have disgusting habits, an environment that is dirty or disorganized, and relationships where the other is always disgusted with you. Appalled is also a good word, that is how others feel about you. You can see it on people’s faces… and you will make sure that you keep it that way. After all, that’s who you are (for yourself) and if you changed you would not recognize yourself. The mind does not tolerate that. Do you see now why I want to get you out of your mind?

PPS: if you google “who are you that you are” this way, together with the quotation marks, you will find that question asked and asked again in literature… amazing.

PPPS: this default name persona is unconscious. You could be anything or anyone if you just knew who you are as a default being… and then design, with as much meticulous attention a new being who is deserving, loved, famous, successful, peaceful, or whatever you thing would be cool. Will it be easy? I don’t know. I haven’t done it. I just had the insight today… But I can tell you of a subtle shift: I just made myself a real omelet with goat cheese… and I am sitting down to eat it. I haven’t eaten breakfast sitting, at home, maybe ever… hm. maybe this is a sign.

The post The Ticket To Peace of Mind, Grace, Ease, and Power first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Every Sunday at 9 am I talk to the same guy. We’ve been mastermind partners since we did Pam Ragland’s course together in 2007. I have gone from wherever I was then, forceful and quite miserable, to who I am today: fully immersed in my life’s work: causing the seed of new humanity. (from a vibration of 200 to 990) He stayed the same. (Was 200 then, is 200 now.)

He started with an email he received that lead him to some interesting videos. Videos by David Cameron Gikanti… a “spiritual” money teacher. (It’s all about money for my friend, you’ll see later why…) I muscletested Gikanti at 300… a little low for a spiritual teacher, don’t you think?

Many of our calls start the same way: he sends me to a video, or guru, or program… mostly AFTER he buys it.

The inner mechanism of why he stayed the same is clearly expressed in this conversation: his only act regarding his spiritual development is spending the money on this stuff. Maybe watch or listen, never any doing.

I am a good sport, so I watched the videos of David Gikanti. If you are attracted to them, please listen up. If you are not attracted to them, many people you know do, so please listen up.

David Gikanti panders to the wishful thinker crowd. Much like the paradigm jumping guy, or the remote viewer guy, won’t mention names now.

What does the wishful thinker “thinks?”

For a wishful thinker there is no root-of-things. They don’t think in terms of cause and effect, or if and when they do, they do not see clearly.

Example: this mastermind partner of mine (we are friends in an every Sunday way) is a wishful thinker.

Here is a little illustration how this consciousness develops: He went to school like most people. At the time he went to school the hip kids wore Levi’s jeans. His mother had a Sears charge card, and that is where she bought clothes for her two boys. Sears sold a different brand of jeans, not Levi’s.

For the little boy, the reason he was not popular was, was because of his jeans… (Don’t laugh, you have the equivalent of jeans: your looks, your teeth, your parents, your dad’s drinking, the part of town you lived… all appointed reasons why they didn’t like you. Or if they did like you, you had an appointed reason for that.)

Was that the real reason? (When he made enough money to buy his own Levi’s, nothing changed. We find out that wearing Levi’s didn’t make him popular. His people skills were lousy. He was shy, he was withdrawn. Even today he is like that. But did he change his mind given the experiment he ran with buying the expensive jeans? No. His modus operandi is still the same: let’s throw some money at it, that will solve the issue… It didn’t solve it then and it doesn’t solve it today.

Now, here we are some 60 years later, and it looks like he is hosed, but it’s not so.

When I poke into his life, when I poke into his successes and failures, I am lead to see that his self-image is quite unconscious.

I teach people to distinguish their portable skills, skills that they can take and use anywhere.

When I ask him about his skills, he has none, he says. He knows how to do things, he may even enjoys doing them, but skills, those he doesn’t have.

What are skills? Skills are developed capacities to use an aspect of yourself, successfully. What aspect? It can be physical, it can be mental, and it can be interpersonal.

You are born without skills. Skills are learned. Talents are not skills, even people who have talent need to learn the skills that make that talent blossom. You can gave the gift of gab (talent) but that doesn’t mean you can sell, or tell a story coherently. You can build on a gift to develop skills that are rare and unique.

If he tried to follow those David Gikanti type people’s teachings, he would be hosed. Why? because those teachers talk to his mind only, and do not take him through the process of distinguishing his skills, sharpening his skills, or learning new skills.

He never thought that he could turn his life around if he learned skills of human interaction, small talk, being interested, listening keenly, etc. that are the foundation of every popular person’s success.

He never thought that there are skills, he never thought that you can learn skills, he thought that if he wishes something it will come, and otherwise you stay the way you are… in his case hosed.

Why am I sharing this? Because he is more a rule than an exception. Most people don’t know they have skills, therefore they don’t know that they can learn new ones.

To raise yourself above the consciousness level where you are, you need to find out what are your skills… That simple fact will suddenly put you in the driver’s seat of your life. Remember, “if it is to be, it’s up to me!” but not without skills.

To start the process, please buy or borrow the book “What color is your parachute?”

Any year, the job hunting edition.

You can get it in print format and in kindle on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/What-Color-Your-Parachute-2015/dp/1607745550/

make sure you get the workbook as well. https://www.amazon.com/Color-Parachute-Job-Hunters-Workbook-Fourth/dp/160774497X/

If I get enough requests, I’ll consider creating a course/mastermind group. Requests need to reach me with a minimum of $10 donation, otherwise I will disregard them. Talk is cheap…

The post Why are you stuck in a low vibration consciousness? Is there a way to catapult you to a higher one? first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Here are two videos.

Your assignment is to evaluate which is from a higher consciousness. Also, which one resonates with you more. It will provide you useful self-knowledge… that will be explained in my next post.

David Gikandi’s Nine level of consciousness:

and here is Johan Oldenkamp’s Nine Levels of Creation

Share your insight, if you would. I am really curious.

The post The Nine Phases Of Creation: The Next Phase Is The Phase Of Being One first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Two questions are answered in this article

1. What can you do to get out of your mind and back to the flow, so you and your life are part of the flow and start feeling like your life is worth living?
2. Why is Osho’s vibration 300 and mine 990? (this is an interesting question, because I’ve learned from Osho, factually, more than from any other teacher.)

What can you do to get out of your mind?

Getting out of your mind has two steps

1. Step one: becoming aware that you use your mind for everything. It’s can be compared to having a hammer: everything looks like a nail. So you are going to approach everything like it’s a nail. But eating your food is a lot more effective with a fork and a knife, typing on the keyboard works better with your bare fingers, brushing your teeth is effective with a tooth brush and very ineffective with a hammer.And this brings up the question you haven’t asked yet: what is the organ of awareness? It is surely not the mind: the mind is not able to be aware of itself.Until you find the “organ” or tool of awareness, you are stuck in the mind.
2. Being an empath I can feel where you are looking for the tool, and I can guide you, like one guides someone who is blind, to the right place.

   I am so glad I have had some experience in this through working as a coach with a deaf and blind person for a while.By the way, she never got completely out of her mind. I utterly failed with her. And then she died. In a freak accident.
   Learning to look with your awareness will feel like having to learn walking all over again: After however long walking on your legs, I will ask you to walk on something else, something you didn’t even know you had.

   But we know it’s possible, it is even possible to see with your chest, hear with your skull, so you can definitely learn to look with your awareness. ¹

   By the way, this is the place to mention that your mind does not equal your brain. Your brain is much more and at the same time much less than the mind. ²

3. Step two: You will need to release certain sticky points, certain habitual ways of behaving.I learned this in Landmark Education: you behave machine-like about 90% of the time. The machine has fixed moves for when you are threatened, and fixed moves when things go well.All of those moves were “created” by you, in a moment of upset. We could say that who you are today was created by an upset 3-5-7-year old, and doesn’t work quite well for what you want to do in life, for relationships, for living in abundance, for grace and ease.What keeps these habitual ways of being (moves, attitudes and behaviors) in place is the mind.We’ll need to release the automatic ways of being, the ones I call sticky points, and replace them with healthy, in-the-flaw ways of being, one by one, specifically.

   There is no Mind-Sweep, or Quantum Thought Shifting, hypnosis, NLP that can do it for you en-masse, you need to address each and every one of them (4-5 significant ones only!) and redesign the habit cycle.

   This is the phase we are working on, right now, in the Second Phase Activators class.

   Once the technology can be declared true and tried, I will start to use it with more and more clients. Once you learn the technology on one sticky point, you can release any other sticky point you find. It will be easy.

   I have managed to change some really sticky habits with this exact technology. The success will depend on your willingness to become aware of “real life” situations and the willingness to change.

   Change is difficult. It is easy to go to the mind… The “brain-map” for the old habit is large and detailed. We need to create a new brain-map for the new habit we created.

4. When they are trying to rehabilitate people who had a stroke that paralyzed one arm, they have to tie their good arm to render it unusable for the stroke-stricken person to start to try to use their paralyzed arm. But it’s possible and the success rate is very high.

why is Osho 300 and I am 990 on the consciousness scale?

And this leads us to the second part of this article: why is my vibration so much higher than this famous mystic with millions of followers, Osho, the sex guru, real name Chandra Mohan Jain, Osho’s life story in Wikipedia is an interesting read wasn’t an empath and therefore could not teach his followers to move their center to the self, (quite a physical act!) or look with their awareness. Instead he developed his Chaotic meditation technique, that temporarily cleared the mind, but was unsuited to teach what to do to do that in a real life situation.

Although much of what he teaches holds water, most of it doesn’t.

So this is the explanation why his vibration was 300 and mine is 990. By the way, the number 990 is ten zeros away from attainment, and is 60% of the journey on a linear scale.

The post Why is Osho 300 and I am 990 on the consciousness scale? first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

I’ve been a little off lately. In the middle of May the number of visitors to my site fell to almost none.

The cause: Google created a software that can tell if something is good or not. If something is worth reading or not. Google deemed my site crap. Obviously, because between May and the beginning of this week, they sent me a grand total of 30 visitors, whereas they used to send me 30-80 a day…

What happened? How did my site become crap from one day to the other?

If you are not in business, you probably haven’t heard.

But if you have a business that gets customers, buyers, through a website, you probably know, that Google, the online search monopoly that is so big that it can rig any system, much like Microsoft, is now completely on the Dark Side.

OK, for the above sentence to make sense, I need to explain what I mean. I need to clarify what doing business that is in harmony with the whole, harmony with creation is like, and then, of course, the opposite.

Let us look at a simple example, writing an informative article that serves people, that teaches them something, truthfully, and this way enriches people’s lives.

Stage 1: The writer of the article has one purpose in mind: to serve. And there is a secondary purpose: to have, some of those people, maybe want to do business with the website the article is on. These are the two purposes that are completely aligned with creation: you give something to get something, there is flow, grace and ease.

People go to a search engine and look for the information this article writes about and the search engine finds it for them among billions of webpages… really sweet.

Stage 2: Now, enter greed, enter the Darkness, enter trickiness, enter competitiveness: some website owners hire slave writers to write crappy articles, each article with a thousand version, same information, just different words.

They put those on thousands of websites, called article directories, and the competition begins.

Who can put more meaningless, bad article on those article directories, and come up among the first ten on google’s search page when you are searching for the solution to your problem.

The more greedy a site is the more money they invest in slave article writing and spamming the internet with duplicate, trashy content.

The first 10, 20, maybe even 30 websites that come up in your search on google are not trash… not the genuine article, not the article our in-the-flow-with-all-of-it website owner wrote, but the slave written articles by the marketeers.

And the Dark Side dominance begins: the world starts to work for the Shysters ³ and the honest business man suddenly gets no traffic. What is the honest business man supposed to do? They hire some slaves, buy some software to post the thousands of versions of the article on thousands of trash sites… and suddenly they are not keeping their attention on the original purpose: serve their customers and get something in return, instead they are now busy competing.

“There is not competition on the Creative Plane” says Wallace D. Wattles, visionary writer of the past century.

In this case, the moment you worry about your google traffic, how many people see your google listing, you are toast. That worry transports you and lands you on the Competitive Plane, where you are out of sync with the Universe, and you are on the Dark Side, you are a blockage to flow.

Stage 3: Google decides to fix this situation. They decide to make a software that will recognize and filter out trash and will only serve up the genuine article. Sounds good, right?

I tell you, when Hitler told the Germans that they are going to prevent the Earth to go to hell by all the substandard non-Arian people that procreate like rabbits, the Germans said: sounds good… let’s do it.

Hitler and his machine succeeded in “eliminating” six million Jews, I don’t know how many Gypsies, homosexuals and communists in addition to that.

Here is the rule:

The solution to a problem is the next problem. This next problem is much bigger than the one it fixed.

If you wanted take over the world, your best and fastest method would be to be a problem-creator.

Problem is not a real thing. Problem is declared. Problem is a phenomenon that comes from the “Original Sin: there is something wrong here. That Original Sin is a creation of the Mind. Mind = Dark Side, remember?

Everything that has gone wrong on Planet Earth, or in the history of humans is based on that Original Sin: there is something wrong here.” Or let me be even more precise: there is something wrong here and it needs to be fixed.

Given that the solution is the next bigger problem, we have gotten ourselves into a real mess.

Every solution gives rise to an even bigger level of corruption, greed, scheisterdom, and a dilution and disappearance of values.

Let’s take Amazon: Amazon started out as an online retailer of books. In the past decade or two it has risen to become an online behemoth ⁴

The Kindle was a solution… not important of what mistake. Today there are thousands of people moving over their scheister methods from google to Amazon: courses sell where they teach you how to sell crap and fill the top ranks of Amazon with it.

Today, when the Dark Side, greed, and rigging the system has accelerated, it is hard to stay aloof, and unaffected.

I caught myself wanting to buy yet another software that will teach me how to re-write my articles to please the new google software (algorithm).

I really wanted it. What is another 30 bucks, right? In the past two months I spent my rent on software like that, so what is another 30 bucks…

Then I muscletested. The muscletest said NO. What?! But I obeyed.

I observed my panic, I observed my trying to fix the situation. Then I had this insight: It is all to eliminate real content from the Internet, from Kindle, from the world. When people are frantically looking for the solution, they won’t pay any attention to the attempts to take over the world… given that, I am sure, it will be a solution to a big problem.

Which brings me to the most important conclusion ever: the Dark Side gains power by creating, aggravating, and graciously solving problems.

You can check the frequency of this cycle in this century, meaning the last 12 years. They are no back to back and on the top of each other. Who benefits? Those that are pulling the strings.

I am staying aloof and unaffected. Count on me to be a rock. A rock of sanity. A rock that connects you to the harmony of the Universe where only the Earth is out of whack, out of harmony.

The post How fixing a problem creates and grows the Dark Side… first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

This is the Black Whole article, but most people search for Black Hole… oh well, this is the article…Black Whole is a gamechanger, but you must promise not to watch it with your mind

Here is a video that one of the readers suggested, and I literally wept when I read it.

All the other videos are somewhat gloom and doom. Why? Because the average person (YOU!) is hooked on negative excitement, and live in their minds.

This video is amazing, exciting, exactly defining what is Source and what we are connecting to… but there is one caveat: you can’t get it through the mind.

The mind will want you to understand, and you can’t. You need to connect to it. Like chocolate mousse: you don’t understand it, you allow it to melt in your mouth, got it? Or sensual massage: you feel it. Or the cool breeze on your face… you don’t try to understand, you appreciate it.

This is how you must watch this video to get it. To allow you to transform it.

This is the real deal, the deal changer, the breath of fresh air… Now, watch it if you dare… lol

The simple enough thought that one side of a black hole is the other side of an energy source… and that no energy gets lost, and the whole Universe is build of donuts… amazing.

The post Black Whole is a gamechanger, but you must promise… first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Witnessing is an awareness, independent of the mind, that sees each process unfold in its perfect beauty.

In this work, witnessing is

1. intending something
2. doing the doing part
3. and watching it unfold

It is an energetic phenomenon: the results are dependent on your witnessing: your witnessing is part of what is causing the result.

The long-long, over 20 week, four times a week course, the Second Phase Activators is drawing to an end.

One student, who has been continuously doing courses with me for 11 months, is visibly irritated, reactive, antsy, and maybe even angry.

I sat down to meditate what is the issue: I had a feeling that it’s not personal, that if I can see what is the driving force behind the irritation, I’ll be able to glean something about the human machine, that you too want to know about.

I did… and here it is:

Unless you witness (in action) what you have learned, you have learned nothing useful, as far as your mind is concerned.

The mind is not able to draw a connection between what it learned and action, unless…

Let me break it down for you so you can actually get what’s happening, and maybe start behaving differently.

Almost any course, even the ones that have exercises in them, only satisfy the mind’s craving for knowledge.

But there is a world of difference between doing something because it is your homework, and doing something for of your life.

Example #1: I am an architect. In Hungary architects are trained as architectural engineers, so our training is both technical and creative.

I am good at both end of the spectrum, which is rare: I have a very balanced mind: left and right brain are almost in perfect balance.

After I graduated, I started to work for a firm that needed help in the structural (engineering) end of the spectrum, and they moved me to that department.

Every time I did a calculation, I had the fear of death. I asked my boss: “Does what I learned in school work in real life?”

There is a disconnect in almost any education between training and real life.

Example #2: In a series of courses by the famous Robert/Lance empire, I created a goal to complete every assignment, and be the first to submit it. I succeeded 98% of the time. Why did I do that? To leave me time to implement what we learned in my own business, during that same week.

I ended up making money and having multiple sources income from each class I took.

Others? Some people competed with me to be the first to complete the homework, but they never incorporated the lessons learned stuff in their business — In fact, if I am not mistaken, only two to three of each class did.

Each class was in the 1-2 thousand dollars range, so it is strange… but just think back to MY university education: there is a disconnect.

Example #3: In my courses I teach (for very little money) simple  techniques that if they are applied, not as homework, but on your REAL LIFE,will increase your vibration, your quality of life, and your level of success,  so significantly, it boggles the mind.

In my classes, I observed that the tendency is for people to do the homework to please me. They do it minutes before the deadline. Somewhere, somehow, I didn’t get it across that the homework is for them, for their life, and for using it for more than homework.

The student that is suddenly irritated, is probably feeling gypped. I imagine she is telling herself: I have invested so much time in this work. I have come to every class. I have watched every replay… why am I not having the result I deserve?

I understand. It makes sense to the mind — perfect sense. Somehow, magically, there should be a link between learning and doing… shouldn’t there?  In fact there is: the link is the homework, starting to incorporate the magic into your life and start the growth.

At the end of the course I declare that every single one of my students now has what they need to become the most successful people on the planet, in whatever they choose to do. Will they be? Doubtful.

Mind knowledge differs a lot from muscular knowledge, feeling knowledge, seeing knowledge, sensing knowledge. Mind knowledge is easy: you throw in words, and you’ve got it. The rest of the knowledge, the only knowledge that really matters, is experiential. It takes practice to find it. That doesn’t make sense to the mind, because the mind tells you that it’s enough that you know about it.

When there is a disconnect between life and your mind knowledge, you are again at the mercy of good ideas, whims, and ego-trips Failure is certain.

Mindset needs to be practiced, just like a bird needs to practice flying before it can take a “real” trip. Practice day in, practice day out. Not just a little bit here and a little bit there. That won’t build neural circuits, or whatever fancy words you want to use.

If you are like me, even if you have it all step by step in clean, clear English, unless you follow the instructions a few times in spite of your horrible resistance (because translating words into doing is painful!), you won’t learn anything useful.

I had a breakthrough in my ability to learn for life in 1996. As a beginner webmaster, I wanted to learn to customize or tweak some of the moving parts of my sites, so I signed up to an online class teaching exactly that.The first session taught how to do a simple line of code that will announce to the world “Hello World!” I could not do it. I could not get it.It didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t do it.

I signed up to repeat the: same thing. I signed up again: this thing won’t beat me! If others can do it, so can I. The third time I saw, suddenly, something I never noticed before. It was hiding in plain sight. “Oh, this is what you meant?,” I said. I didn’t have to stay in the class. The whole mystery was resolved in that one little hidden/visible thing.

I learned something that day, something more important than anything I had every learned before: some things, like distinctions that alter your worldview, are not going to allow you to see anything other than what you have always seen, until you exhaust all your mind’s power… and then they will reveal themselves in their full glory.

If this were teachable (it isn’t) then people would have the results they are willing to work for 100% of the time.  They must experience it to get it, but because the mind ⁵ is so easy to satisfy, they read a book, listen to a lecture, take another course.  Most people aren’t able to fathom that there is another way to learn that isn’t even similar. It takes doing something poorly, without knowing what the heck you are doing, for quite some time, before the paradigm, the new one, is willing to reveal itself.

This is what we practice on the drill calls. Even there, people are hell-bent to be instantly successful. Success won’t teach you anything! Only failures do. If you are misfortunate and succeed the first time, it will be that much more difficult for you and your mind. Lucky accidents do not reveal anything. You need to earn it, and earn it every time.

I have been doing this “earning” thing for 16 years now. I still have to earn everything. I still have to bang on the walls of the current cocoon long enough and hard enough for the new paradigm to become possible for me.

Now, compared to other courses, the Second Phase Activators course has been a spectacular success in that we have ten success stories. When I started, I knew we would have only four…and I was wrong. What did I do? Well, in addition to yelling at people a lot (lol), I worked my ass off to convey the method. The third thing I did was to do in my own life what I asked the students to do and share it with them. If they can successfully refrain from going to the mind for evaluation of their progress, they will expand, grow, and flourish further.

As soon as we finish this course I will have another course that is all about actions. It’s a mentoring program. I promise  100% success in that one, at least to the students that have shown that they are willing to take risks.

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A student of mine lives in the same town as I do and for a while he used to drive me around to do errands.

Then I realized that it made him feel entitled to insult me on calls, so I put an end to that arrangement.

That was about two months ago.

He sent me a few emails offering rides, etc.

We even spent a few good times doing “exploring your own neighborhood” type of things, like visiting lakes and such.

Every email that he sends emphasizes that he is giving me something, asking me what I need… etc.

I stopped wanting anything.

I don’t want him to give me anything any more. I experience a feeling akin to hate or anger rising in me every time I think of him.

My regular driver is taking a break: she works at the New York State Fair for a few days, and I am driverless. I need stuff. But I won’t ask my student for help because of what I want to share with you.

If you are a perpetual and compulsive giver, you think that you are a good person, don’t you? Am I correct?

Consider that people will be willing to take what you give them, but secretly they hate your gut.

why would that be so?

Let’s ask some questions, ok?

Who has the upper hand in a relationship? The giver or the receiver?

The receiver is needy and the giver can feel good about themselves.

Do you feel good about yourself when you are needy? No.

There is another, hidden, dynamic, called “perpetration/withhold”.

You do something to another, gossip, take too much, steal, cheat, think bad, that YOU consider bad. Morally bad.

When you do something you consider morally bad, you are trying to hide it. You are trying to justify it. You are going to explain it. You will have a good reason why you did what you did.

One of the justifications is finding fault with the person you perpetrated upon. Your boss, your spouse, your friend, your teacher, the government, your neighbor. In that justification they will be the guilty part and what you did will be justified: after all they deserved it.

You’ll feel righteous indignation, maybe even anger. That will work like a smokescreen: no one will look at what you did: and you won’t have to look either. So you can feel good about yourself, you are the good guy, and they are the bad guy.

Now, let’s return to the type of relationships where one is getting and the other one is giving…

The recipient will be getting more than their moral compass considers a fair and balanced share. Their greed will tell them to continue receiving, but their soul will tell them to stop.

They will, probably, continue receiving but see all that is wrong with you, avoid you socially, treat you badly, and ultimate hate you. You make them feel bad by giving them too much.

There are soul-corrections where the main move of the person to correct is this forceful giving.

What could be under that “obsession?”

When I look at individuals, they all had a desire to be taken care of, they all decided that they don’t matter, or probably don’t matter, and therefore they need to buy/earn their right to be with people.

Another sign of this type of giving, that you so concentrate on what you give, that you don’t appreciate what you get. Even though you created this whole “racket” to get… it robs you of your pleasure to appreciate, to be grateful, to enjoy what you get.

This is not a loving reason to be with people, is it? It is selfish, self-serving, using the other person, even though on the surface these guys are the givers. But what it covers up is that they want to control you and dominate you so you won’t have a choice but be with them for your own reason, while giving them what they would not have the courage to ask for, would not want to pay for, but want.

I used to be one of these people.

Most giving is a thinly veiled move to receive something that is not your due.

I have a few people in my environment, this student included, who would never get to spend time with me if they didn’t give me something. I would not pick them to be friends or companions. In fact I didn’t.

They are the service providers.

If they stopped their forceful giving, I would probably consider spending time with them for no reason.

But they make me feel bad, they make me feel like a beggar, a destitute person who needs them.

So I hate them… wouldn’t you?

Of course I know better, and I manage my feelings, but that doesn’t make me any more willing to be friends with them.

Who is the ultimate loser? Them, right?

Or if you, if this is how you are organizing your relationships.

The post I am such a giving person, why do people hate me? first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.