I have had an infected water connection… don’t know more than that… I assume I have had it for years… maybe more than a decade.

The organism creates neurotoxins and thus I have been taking that for years.

My health has declined for the past more than 10 years… I would have never connected it to the water without what happened since my last birthday.

Previous to my birthday I had drank 5-6 cups of tea daily, which, in hindsight, were and excellent way to flush out much of the toxins… But then I suddenly stopped. Around my birthday I didn’t have an appetite. To improve my health I decided to go on a water fast. No food, just the deadly neurotoxins.

I broke the fast after eight days, but by then my health was on a slippery slope.

A period of a lot of experimentation and guessing came… Source either didn’t know what was going on, or I was asking the wrong questions. All in all, I had to use my human brain to save my life.

The mechanism this microorganism uses to spread its genes is to make the hapless victim drown in its own juices, explode and thus find new victims. The lungs fill with ‘juices’… then the legs swell .

The ‘water’ level by yesterday was up to my neck… and it was really an emergency situation.

Nothing has worked to arrest the rise of the water. That is when Source said: you have an energy that looks hopeful.

I hadn’t used that energy for ten years… never had really looked how it worked, so I discarded it.

I spent some time yesterday studying it. It works on a quasi sonic principle: whatever doesn’t belong gets shaken apart and washed away. The shaking doesn’t break bonds that are supposed to be, but growths, infections, crusts are blasted off and then, hopefully washed away.

It’s hard to take it longer than a few minutes… I’ve just 20 minutes of it. Difficult treatment to forestall death.

Since I started to use it, the water level descended a whole inch.

In just a few hours.

The ‘real’ challenge has been not obeying the instructions of the neurotoxins.

The instructions to be afraid of imminent death… and not even stand up have been irresistible. When I don’t obey, the fear and the pain are so strong, it takes a long time to catch my breath… so it is now a race between the energies and the neurotoxins.

Also a few weeks ago I was hellbent to end my life… and the neurotoxins didn’t agree…

I wouldn’t be surprised if this bug were underneath all the COPD and heart failures, the fourth leading cause of death in the USA.

So, if I manage to recover and live: what am I going to do about my water?

Just a few minutes of exposing the water to the original big bundle solves that problem.

I just took a snooze leaning over my keyboard… this is how I’ve been sleeping for weeks now.

Source says I am now winning this war, not just the battle.

The key to that has been consciously and forcefully staying connected to Source… it has been really difficult under the pressure of fear of imminent death…

The post What, when, why, and how of what happened first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Thank you for writing this (yesterday’s) article. I too have wanted a magic and quick way to get to the conclusion or result of something. But with using the sight capacity and also looking at my past projects or successes, the quick “shortcut” way almost never works, or doesn’t lead to a sustained result.

Lately I also had a bit of time to reflect when I wasn’t feeling well on a couple of days. I had been reviewing some of the past communications that we had before, such as the guidance that you provided in the food lists, since 2017. I realized that several times where I did not follow the guidance, I thought I knew better or took what you said personally, or thought it meant I was “wrong” (though I can tell now that you were just saying ‘A is A’). For example, when you said I had inflammation, I automatically went to “inflammation is bad” and “it is wrong for me to have inflammation”. While I didn’t doubt that what you said was correct, I struggled to accept it, as it didn’t match what I wanted to believe, or my view of reality.

Anyway this ties into your latest article where you talked about people doing what they say they will do, and quickly. Getting well for me has been a process too. It’s the small actions that I take every day that over time lead to progress. This includes eating only foods on my food list, noticing my attitudes, slowing down instead of rushing, listening to the big bundle during the night, and using the energy healing audio. There have been some periods recently where I made a kind of experiment to (temporarily) do the opposite of what would improve my health, and not surprisingly, I did not feel happy and energetic. I felt worse and I couldn’t maintain focus and be productive. So I have made a commitment to myself to go back to the strait and narrow, to go back to what was working, as my purpose is to achieve and sustain health, even if there are parts to it that I don’t understand. I get reminders of the debilitating back pain and stiffness if I accidentally eat something with leaves, and from that I get sufficient motivation to stay on track. I definitely don’t want to live a life where I feel that pain nearly every day as I did in early 2022. The vast majority (if not all!) of the actions that I can take to move me in the right direction with regards to my health are within my control, and I am very grateful for that.

I hope that you can make it through this difficult time Sophie. I get that every day is a challenge for you, and it’s very difficult and painful and there is a lot of uncertainty. Thank you for continuing to look for the pieces of the invisible through all of this and I wish the very best for you.

The post The feedback that made me look again at myself first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

It boggles the mind even though it is natural.

This is just one unnatural thing, to always expect do what you said ‘I’ll do‘ fast, preferably instantly and with lovely attitude.

But that is not how humans are built. Blame the builder… not yourself.

In the design of humans (DNA) everything is designed to be the result of a process… feeling it out first.

One of the results of this deadly illness I am going through is that everything slows down, and I can see exactly how it proceeds.

Let’s take this morning… I woke up in my chair around 3 am. I was tired but not sleepy. I needed to go to the bathroom.

It took me 45 minutes to get from ‘I need to go to the bathroom‘ to actually stand up and go.

That same exact move took 3 hours a few days ago, so it is getting more ‘instant’ as I am working on it.

The body and the brain does a billion calculations before it is actually willing to move.

I don’t know what the calculations are about, but I can tell with some certainty: one of them is the question: ‘what is the chance that this move will kill me?‘

In my case, congestive heart failure, it makes more sense, but trust me, everyone’s brain asks that question, every single time you ask your body for an action.

I have also noticed that the ‘rules’ of causing action are different from what ‘others’ teach and what most people think they are.

Most people think that what gets one to a movement is some big push… forceful.

This is what manifests in a lot of people’s lives as failed or abandoned projects, hemorrhoids, sprained muscles, destroyed relationships, and bloody results.

A result of a deadly concoction of impatience, entitlement, and misunderstanding of how life, how reality works.

Yeah? How does reality work?

Reality works on gentle pulses best. Nudges. Like water… water is soft but can erode the hardest of rocks…

Sages have attempted to teach humanity to learn the nature of reality: that reality is like water. That it works best if you also act like water. That it is the best for you, if like water, you take on the shape of of the vessel life is coming at you with.

Of course, other than marshal arts none learned it… because understanding it, even getting to get it, will never take you to mastery, where you can’t be no other.

In the amazing Neal Stephenson book, The Diamond Age, this engineer creates this Artificial Intelligence masterpiece, the interactive Primer that teaches the holder of The Primer to live life like water.

Nell is the first ‘trainee’, and then the ‘ant army’, quarter million Chinese girls… The book shows why ‘normal’ humanity lives like savages, no rhyme, no reason, no finesse, no glory, no grandeur in their lives. It takes a tremendous amount of training to cause an uncouth rock, a diamond in the rough to become a brilliant gem.

PS:cut your coat according to your cloth is a PROVERB

The post We need to cut our coat according to our cloth first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

My original false solution is hope. Actions based on hope. Hope that things will be OK, or better.

Or that I am ready now… that I’ll survive.

I could not see this until I got myself into the situation where my survival is not handled yet, of maybe even can’t be handled no matter what I do.

The fact that I could drag myself from my sleeping chair to the kitchen to have a cup of tea doesn’t mean that there is any future for me, and that I now should order whatever the next fancy is.

It’s hard.

It’s been hard, but more importantly quite ineffective to disengage hope. It’s not just that it’s been my go-to place for comfort for 76 years, more that it is a hidden power, the human condition in action.

No one has gotten out of the human condition alive. And we are all in this soup together.

Not many people will get the opportunity to clearly see what they have given their lives to… the false solution. I would consider myself lucky if it were even just a little less painful… I don’t. It’s horrible.

But I have a lot of time at hand, given that I can’t do hardly anything with my time… other than stay aware, stay alert, and distinguish.

I imagine being a disembodied brain kept alive in water… only the pain is the difference… that I still have a body that can hurt.

Anyway, I have done the work of distinguishing for quite a few of you in my head… and I am ready to share, as soon as the body agrees. Not just yet. I have postponed the workshop that was scheduled for Saturday, with the hope that next Saturday I can actually physically do it.

It would be so much more predictable if I could lose the body…

What I have seen this past night is this: Only action makes a difference, if what you want is an alteration of your course.

Most people never do anything that does… or maybe they do, but not long enough.

The action needs to be relevant, strong enough to change something, and long enough to matter.

And, of course, whatever you think you are doing in your head is not action. Not even in the ballpark of action.

I have been having calls with one of my students daily for a few weeks, I really don’t know for how long.

Having calls sound like action, right? But so far none of these calls have produced an single action… not from the student, not from me.

On the other hand my nephew who asked me to be strong and hang in there, has produced and action from me of not giving up, not reacting, no jumping into conclusion, for I don’t know five days now?

Not doing something is also an action… an action that either alters your course of keep you on the old one.

Action is the rarest thing in the human condition. Talking is the most frequent.

PS: If you want to read beautiful writing of people who chose to act, go here

The post What is the rarest activity? and the most frequent? first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Waterboarding is, of course, a torture technique designed to break an enemy captured.

Horrible. Even if you survive you have PTSD, nightmares.

And much of this ordeal with my health was like waterboarding… whenever I set my head on a pillow on the bed.

Whether it will last of not is still a question: I don’t have the courage to test it tonight. I’ll do the sitting upright, leaning against something catching minutes of bliss that way. That way at least I am only tortured by tiredness, not by the fear of drowning.

Yesterday while I was looking for a way to end it all, I wanted to post on Facebook: if you can’t sleep, you can’t live… or something like that.

I hadn’t known that. I used to always be able to sleep. Maybe not as well as I wanted to. Maybe not as long as I wanted to, But I could sleep.

Now I can’t. Hopefully I can learn to sleep again.

Sleep again in bed.

So tonight I was testing out some of my own energy audios to see how well they will stand up to the panic this sense of suffocating death creates.

I tried a few. Some, interestingly, conveyed the anxiety I had when I recorded them.

But one has performed amazingly. Of course it is no proof yet, but as soon as I removed the audio, the panicked breath returned… As soon as I removed the ear bud.

the audio is called heaven on earth silent short.

—I wrote the above a few days ago…

Yesterday I had a breakthrough insight.

I was, or better said, the body was trying to heave. But my stomach was empty, not even water in it.

It was dramatic. it was heroic. but most importantly, I could see through the spaces between what was happening that my body was strong. And it wanted to live.

That allowed me to change my mind. I had thought before that my body was ready to go and I was holding it back.

Between you and me I had never fully committed to life. After all I had overheard my parents talk about me, when I was an infant, saying that I wasn’t supposed to be alive.

It is true that I had a bacterial invasion on my body. It is true that it made me cough. It is true that I felt like I was drowning. It is also true that the Bit Bundle could have solved the whole issue… but the coughing was so intense, I gave up on it.

It is true that every breath feels like the last one. And hurts. Mightily.

But counterpoint to that: the body wants to live.

The post It is like being waterboarded… again and again and again. first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

I have read at least one article about each possibly missing virtue saying that it is the root of all failure.

Some I may have even written myself.

But now that I am working closely and intensely with one student, and listen in to what others have to say, I must reconsider.

When in spite of some teaching, when in spite of a new way to look at one’s life, a person still comes up with the same garden variety ineffective behavior, than there must be something there that literally prevents them from from self-correcting.

To actually self-correct one must be willing to tell the truth:

that one has caused the mistake, the error, the misery, the trouble… whatever was the case.

Instead humans assign cause, assign blame to something that is not them.

For example: I was hurt. I assigned stupidity to be the cause, not me. And even if today I sound very transformed, secretly I keep up the charade that it was stupidity that caused me to get hurt.

Why? Because, I think, I reserve the right to make the same mistake again… maybe as part of my Free Will.

The difference between you and me (maybe there are only some degree of differences…) is that maybe you cannot yet see that indeed you were causing it and then have been lying about it.

So, in my experience the two sticky points are: 1. being able to SEE that nothing ever happens to you, and you are causing everything that you experience. 2. Choosing, at least some of the time, to do/be different than you have been.

One of the frequent ways people don’t change, don’t grow… is when they have a coach, a teacher, a trainer.

There is this 2000 year old little poem that says: ‘Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them.

Start with what they know. Build with what they have.
But with the best leaders, when the work is done, the task accomplished, the people will say ‘We have done this ourselves.’‘

And that, ‘we have done this ourselves‘ is a lie.

So some of my clients, when they get into their heads that they are ready, start doing it themselves… and the result… nothing good gets done.

We are a species that does best when we, like the Sequoia trees, connect to each other under the surface.

So the lone rangers is type 1. Type 2. The other kind: they cling and get nothing done…

I am going to use myself as an example, because you can’t really know anyone but yourself.

When I am willing to take complete responsibility that I do things to damage my business, my health, my life, then I can take a few steps that don’t…

I can set ‘I am stupid’ to the side, and do the right thing.

And when stupid takes center stage… I just do a version of what I did when I was three and a half… and kill life.

The secret for me is to catch the trigger: ‘I don’t wanna‘

I guess this is some version of some liberty ‘fetish’ that maybe we all have.

And then I manage to return to the Sequoia state, and do what I need to do. I do know how… Do you?

In the Sequoia state you don’t have the right to destroy the grove by flinging you Free Will, and your right to kill yourself.

As you can see, this is a journey. It starts with seeing, for the first time, what is your particular way of avoiding seeing reality.

We will do that work in the Saturday 1 pm workshop…

And then there will be a ton of followup… because knowing is the booby prize.

Let’s find you Achilles heel.

The post Finding your blind spot… so you can start self-correcting first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

When we talk about being present. When we talk about self-awareness. Awareness… We talk about more than just a bubble of reality with no relevance, no relationship to other things, spaces, or people.

No matter who I try to talk, they always end up more aware of one aspect, but not of the whole. The ‘in relation’ is missing, and it doesn’t seem to be missing for them, while in essence that is the most important aspect of living.

We live in relationship to everything… and the secret of humanity’ existence, is that for thousands of years this wasn’t an issue, it was how things were seen, rightly.

Only in the approximately past 80 years that humans managed to shift their view as if there were NO relationships between things, between them and other humans, between them and the environment.

In fact all of those relationships show up to today’s human as the things that cramp their style. Mostly other people…

A few years ago a Hungarian engineer wrote a book in which he revealed that it is actually a human need essential for life to meet the expectations of others, their expectations of you.

For most people that was the first time this whole idea surfaced. what? That it should be important to me to meet other people’s expectations of me?

But in essence, people refuse.

Refuse to consider it important, especially if their original hurtful incident was painful because the little person, the 3-year old, was so wrapped up in their own three-foot world that they literally were oblivious of other people and what they could even expect of them.

No punishment changed the fact that the little person didn’t know. Wasn’t conscious. Wasn’t aware that there is more to life than their own concern.

I have already shared about the little girl who won a foot race. When her father said: you could have run faster, he refused to hear it, because in her three-foot world there was no faster, there was only winning, there was only being the best. And there is no argument that there is nothing better than the best.

Here are a few more examples I promised:

I’ll start with the example of the little boy who was so wrapped up on what he wanted, that he completely missed what other people wanted, what other people assumed, what other people actually did. The parents.

So at a street corner, on the way back from grocery shopping, he didn’t notice that the parents continue going straight while the McDonald’s was to the left. He didn’t say anything. Didn’t yell, didn’t have his wishes known, he assumed that because he wants it it will happen.

When he realized his parents were out of sight even, he started to cry.

His mother when she noticed that he wasn’t faithfully following them like a good little doggie, ran back to collect him. His father spanked him. He doesn’t understand what happened to this very day.

The funniest thing is that he decided to write his philosophy thesis discussing the Hungarian engineer work on ‘needing to meet other people’s expectation’, while he doesn’t still have the foggiest of notion what that is really about. How to know, how to set what other people expect of you. Not a hint or inkling. Still clueless.

For people like him, who are held back in life, because this essential part is missing, and it is missing that it is missing, I’ll have a workshop on December 30th. that is a Saturday, and the time will be 1 pm New York time.

Hopefully I’ll be well enough to do it.

If you can’t make it, I’ll do more of these… eventually, because it is so fundamentally important for a life you can love and live powerfully.

The workshop is in essence one-on-one-coaching in front of others. And although it is relatively easy to see the issue, correcting it is wickedly difficult and requires a custom designed practice. So at some point you may want to have a private one-on-one session with me.

Here is your link to sign up if you are ready.

Sign up to the Faces and Spaces workshop

The post Let’s see what you missed and give it to you… first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

I make people raise their hands on calls when they got what I said, and I can feel that they are lying, some of them, when they raise their hands.

Why? Because getting something is not the same as memorizing it.

So here is am, 720 articles and 50 weeks worth of webinars later. And as usual, I am playing freecell. Suddenly images from a movie I saw a few months ago start coming up in my mind. Bubbling up.

The movie is “Almost famous” and all the scenes star the actress of Fargo fame: Frances McDormand.

She is one of my favorite actresses. Why? Because her capacity to not give a hoot at how ridiculous she looks or sounds is so endearing, so empowering to me, I get courage and power for myself to look ridiculous and not care.

In this movie she goes beyond. And this is what this article is about.

I am not going to tell you the movie: I want you to watch it. But I’ll tell one piece: through her character, exasperating as it is, I have a clearer picture, suddenly, or where the people that are not getting it are.

Some of those people are my students. One of them has been with me since 2007, another one since mid-last year.

It drives me crazy that they are not getting it. My ego is bristled, after all I have been working so hard! (Can you hear the waaa-waaa-waaah behind that statement? If you really listen, you may be able to hear the “No matter how hard I try, I can’t…. baaay baaay baaah! lol)

If you are on the path, if you have experienced harmony, awareness, meditation (really), energy healing, the Heaven on Earth, The Energizer, etc. etc. etc. and people in your environment are not getting it, please do yourself a favor and watch that movie.

It’s on Netflix (DVD only). Why? through the role of the clueless taken to the extreme, Frances McDormand gives us comic relief, when someone is looking at our life, our purpose, our experiences, and doesn’t get it.

Oh, the title of this post. The person that doesn’t get it is in a different paradigm. Everything is visible to them, just differently than to you. They are looking at it from a different paradigm.

Please have compassion: paradigm jumping is a great idea, but doesn’t happen as easily as jumping. For example the paradigm of awareness isn’t the same looking from the mind as looking from consciousness…

From the mind: it’s a concept. From consciousness it is peace, grace, joy: heaven on earth.

The post If you, they don’t get it. A movie demonstrating paradigms first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

I am starting a new series that also shows a new direction I am taking my teaching/coaching practice.

The new direction is skill-building.

Obviously, if you are like most people, you have no idea what a skill is. You may say some inane things, but you still don’t know. Even if you read the “what color is your parachute” famous book that has been published and every year for 48 years, with over ten million copies sold.

I have taught it. I have lead the workshop. And I can safely tell you that in all those years, there wasn’t one person who learned from me, or from the book what a skill really is, and then develop skills that would take them far on the job market.

Why? Because skill is part of the invisible world.

It is operational, it is determining like everything in the invisible world, but unless you learn how to work that world, you are out of water, you are not going to live the good life.

Most people, quite predictably, don’t have any skills to write home about. Some have skills, but they think they could work for them only if they could use it in the same exact environment as where they learned them. so they are out of water too.

My desire has been to only work with people who actually want to learn. I think by choosing this new theme, I’ll get much less people to my site, but they will be a lot more ambitious, and easier to teach than the people I have now.

So let’s see:

–you can build a tangible skill

here are a few tangible skills: multiplication, drawing a straight line, drawing things in correct perspective, mixing colors in Photoshop, setting up paragraph parameters in Microsoft Word… etc. etc.

–or you can build an intangible skill (something the is not obviously showing up for others. a how phenomenon, a consciousness phenomenon. Because it is an intangible skill, most people won’t see it, or if they see something, the tip of the iceberg, they will mis-identify it.

Warren Buffet’s main “superpower”, main winning skill, is to be able to see what “ball” is in his sweet spot, a ball that will pay off, and pay off in spades.

here is the quote for your convenience:

“I was genetically blessed with a certain wiring that’s very useful in a highly developed market system where there’s lots of chips on the table, and I happen to be good at that game.

Ted Williams wrote a book called The Science of Hitting and in it he had a picture of himself at bat and the strike zone broken into, I think, 77 squares. And he said if he waited for the pitch that was really in his sweet spot he would bat .400 and if he had to swing at something on the lower corner he would probably bat .235.

And in investing I’m in a ‘no called strike’ business which is the best business you can be in. I can look at a thousand different companies and I don’t have to be right on every one of them, or even fifty of them. So I can pick the ball I want to hit. And the trick in investing is just to sit there and watch pitch after pitch go by and wait for the one right in your sweet spot. And if people are yelling, ‘Swing, you bum,’ ignore ’em.

There’s a temptation for people to act far too frequently in stocks simply because they’re so liquid. Over the years you develop a lot of filters. But I do know what I call my ‘circle of competence’ so I stay within that circle and I don’t worry about things that are outside that circle. Defining what your game is – where you’re going to have an edge – is enormously important.”

He calls it wiring, I call it a developed skill.

What does it mean “developing a skill?”

I will use White Fang, a 75% wolf, 25% dog from Jack London’s novel of the same title, to explain it.

In White Fang, the skills were both tangible and intangible. Most dogs/wolves never really honed their skills: they stopped getting better at an early age: they declared themselves done. just like you most likely have done.

White Fang never declared himself done.

His main concerns were avoiding pain and the path to that was learning the law of the land. and each land has its own laws.

The most useful part of the book is when he is transported to California from the Arctic Circle, where the laws are different. and his method of learning the new laws so he can avoid pain and enjoy life, love, and prosperity.

He practiced, tirelessly, he never stopped asking: is this still the law? And looked at and for the feedback.

Unfamiliar, eh? You stopped doing that decades ago. You may be looking at pleasing others, but not obeying the laws, natural or legal.

You are looking at the “finished” result, and you think these people were born with it. That it was easy for them.

Here is another example, my physical “diagnostic” ability

I don’t remember the early years in this regard… I was as unconscious as any other child. The first inkling I had at around age 10, I fell from a tree, smack dab on the top of a paving block. Its corners broke the skin, and I passed out. but I spent time “diagnosing” what happened inside the broken skin. and decided that I didn’t need a doctor, that the damage was going to heal itself.

Around age 15 I started an apprenticeship with a pantomime group and was trained in the art of controlling every muscle in my body.

Long break: when you hurt, you have a hard time being precise. and I hurt almost without any break for decades. I had some notable experiences: my sinuses got washed out by first breaking bones.. ugh, and getting liquid iron intravenously to cure a stubborn depression. And exploding ovary, and some other unsavory stuff I don’t want to share.

What was “special” about me is that I paid attention, I observed, I watched, I really watched, deeply. Closely.

Decades later I had my brain damage… and I could sense what areas of the brain were dark dead areas. I could sense how the other parts woke up to the need to take over functions that were dead.

And then came the “famous” chiropractic experiments where I could observe, test out which direction and which bone needed to be moved to reduce or eliminate tension. I never stopped. I am still honing my skill. It’s my superpower just like picking the right balls to swing for is Warren Buffet’s.)

I have been working on my awareness and attention (intangible skills)… especially at night.

It seems that the enemy of awareness, in my case, is impatience, and boredom, and the desire to sleep.

I am looking at adding another skill-set, a tangible skill to build: setting up a course that won’t lose its appeal year after year so I can sell it again and again, for years to come.

You can pick whatever skill or skill-set you want, but given the “guided” nature of my programs, you will need to work with me to choose the target skill wisely. What will decide what you’ll do is your destination, your current superpower, and what gives you “juice”.

Skill building is a lot like nutrition:

you can make it expensive and needing a lot of work, research, or you can make it natural, matching your DNA as closely as you can.

One of the most important things I learned from David Allen is this: most people never amount to anything, never accomplish anything because there is something they don’t know.

If you schedule a project that looks like one thing but is made up of several single tasks, you’ll always procrastinate. You’ll always do things in the wrong order. And you’ll never get things done. There is always a first thing, and a second thing… and they build on each other… and so it is with skills.

And one of the secrets of successful people is that they accomplish things. And another one: they have skills that make it easier for them to adjust to the changing world, the changing environment, the changing demands of the markets, the changing technology, etc.

All skills are transferable, all skills are portable…

Like water. Like onions, Like spices… You can make a huge variety of things with them… not just one thing.

Each skill is skill-set that looks monolithical.

I have a distinct feeling that you don’t see what you are doing as having many moving part just like you don’t see, for example, Bill Gates’ time and effort as having distinct and varied elements.

But here is an example: to become a chef in France, Julia Childs had to master chopping onions. Breaking an egg. Watching and accurately judging the temperature of the skillet, the amount of butter, the movements of the skillet on the stove, etc. etc. etc.

I have a student who never learned to cook, even though, at my request, she participated in cooking courses.

Whereas I once had a young assistant who needed to learn to cook, and I taught the elements of cooking, chopping onions, cleaning and peeling vegetables, chopping vegetables, the ideal temperature for each, the time to put the spices in the dish, the art of keeping a soup clear, etc. etc. etc.

So by the same token, you can work on an aspect of the task, and increase your skill in it.

The secret of these producers, the secret of accomplishers is this ability and willingness to break up seemingly unbreakable tasks into bite size single action items that each you can get good at.

Also each action item is part of more than just one skill-set

Here is an example: one of my students has had a hard time saying no to hardly anything. So his time was never quite his own. he was used by everyone and anyone who wanted to use his time, his brain, his skills.

The missing skill was saying no…

but saying it in a way that doesn’t burn bridges, simply returns you to what is most important to you, and to doing that, instead what others want you to do (including the attempts of your “evil” inclination to do its bidding.)

My favorite skill-building movie is Bob the Butler… it shows you how Bob did become a winner

And it was all through skills he built.

The post Let’s build a high vibration person. Where shall we start? first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

I want all my clients to watch it to see some of themselves.

I love, have always loved that movie. There is something magical about it, regardless of its fantasy ending. But what?

After all Bob is a slob, a never do well, an uncoordinated big slab of a guy. He gets his vocational and relationship guidance from a hamster. Not who you want your students to be… would you?

And yet.

So what is it about Bob that endears me, gets me firmly in his corner, rooting for him? What gets the kid want him to be in their lives?

I have been a human (albeit ‘just a woman human’) for seventy six years, and it just happened that I have words for that ‘thing’ that I admire, that people crave, that Bob has.

Bob has his heart in the right place.

When he screws up, royally, or just. It is never about him. He allows a fuckup be just a fuckup, pays the price and moves on. And still care about the people who now, maybe, hate him. He is not about lofty ideals, principles. He just wants to work, and have a place under the sun. Get to where he needs to get to, do what he needs to do, because that is what life is.

He has zero distinctions. He is utterly clueless, incompetent and he knows it. And he has no concept of better. Doing something better, doing anything better.

In this regard he is like every single one of my students and clients. In this regard.

But in other regards, heart in the right place, doing things to do them, no… In those regards my students and clients are not like Bob at all.

There, everything is about them, talking about them, and nothing is just what it is: done, not done, good, not so good, short, long, incomplete… No. because it all becomes about them.

In spite of Bob failing at every new job… he is at the end of job listings starting with the letter b… Butler is the last. The next letter is c.

And every former employer loves seeing him. For decades I coached people in Landmark for nothing. I don’t think any of them cheers when they see me.

My heart wasn’t at the right place coaching them.

So what or where is this right place?

Most of us have seen this ‘psychological tool’ everyone teaches and yet everyone misses where it matters.

Rubin’s Vase is two facing silhouettes and the space between them.

The space, when it’s the context, is like the silhouette of a vase.

You can look at life and everything in it through Rubin’s Vase, and decide where you’ll be. Whether you’ll be a face of the space.

• When you are a face… your heart is always about you… so it is not at the right place.
• When you are the space… your heart can’t be about you… you only exist as the space for life to play out.

I lived about 70 of my 76 years as the face… Miserable, miserable, miserable.

When I am the space there is joy. The joy for its own sake. Love for its own sake. Life for its own sake.

There is no ‘I’ in teaching… no ‘I’ and no ‘You’. Just teaching that either worked or it didn’t.

Our Bob the Butler lives in the space…

Your first job would be to move YOURSELF from face to space… back and force, so you can tell where you are at. It is a skill some have more than others. When in bed, on my side, I can’t feel which side of mine I am lying… so my skill in body position is not well honed. I have a real shortage of clues about left, right, up and down. I think it’s the dyslexia.

But maybe because I can’t be unconsciously competent at that, I have to look for clues.

And that takes us to the clues… To the fact that a full eight billion of you have never, or scarcely ever have looked for clues in anything… Clues in reality I mean.***

But maybe it is never too late to start. For you.

If I were you, I would start with the clues I have been missing ever since you were born. What your space cadet persona has completely missed.

Or start with seeing that you’ve always been the faces… never the space…

In some personal coaching, maybe on a workshop type call, I’ll go back with you down memory lane to see what you missed… so you can start learning of its existence.

I mean that ‘learning of its existence’. It doesn’t exist for you right now. It’s missing. And it’s missing that it is missing.

Jodie, my student, is practicing seeing it for the first time… Her missing distinction is ‘faster’. Running faster.

A major step towards being able to do any of this is the Drink your Food process. In that you forego your automatic way of eating, your chew-chew-swallow way, to chew-chew 50 times and then consciously swallow.

This forces you to become present and conscious and aware. Takes you right out of your space cadet state… and into reality.

Without this step the whole shebang won’t work.

And it that space I can only do one thing: talk at you. And you can only do one thing: be the ‘offended’ face.

Ugh.

***Dyslexics do a whole lot better in life than normies. I assert the reason for that is that they need to look for clues in reality to ‘know’ much of anything… And that single fact makes a dyslexic twice as likely to become a high achiever.

The post Why do I want you to watch Bob The Butler? first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.