What is consciousness, really? Where is it?

I am here, waiting for the cable man to fix my internet. It’s been down since yesterday afternoon.

It is hard to remember what we did with our lives before the internet… for me it’s been 18 years. It is hard to figure out what I can do that does not involve the internet… Finally I settle on writing, editing, and such.

It’s 11:30 am. The repairman was scheduled to be here at 11. I am sitting here, uncharacteristically anxious, contemplating that the man won’t even show up, that he will lie, that I will have to be another day without the ability to work.

It’s excruciatingly painful. I am diligently making room for the bad feelings, including them, breathing normally. Then I have a suspicion: is this mine? I normally don’t get anxious: I take life as it comes.

Turns out I tuned into the repairman: it’s his anxiety. Hm.


Are you good? Are you bad?

Our last Playground, earlier today, was on the topic of “good/bad.”

It’s a great topic. Why? Because you are limited by that, good and bad, more than most any other adjective: you want to be good, you need to be good, you pretend to be good, you fancy yourself as a good person, you sell your soul to be thought of as good. God will let you into heaven if you are good… you go to hell if you are bad… blah, blah, blah. Lots of greed, lots of suffering around good and bad.

As a foreigner I watch it with fascination. Good and bad is worn like a uniform, covering up a ton of anxiety.


On this side of the Great Divide even the best teaching

The Great Divide is what is between being a human, plagued by the incessant thoughts the unpleasant feelings and a HUMAN BEING, a divine being, that has the thoughts, has the feelings, but is largely untouched by them.

What if I could teach you to have your thoughts, have your emotions, have your physical sensations, and still be able to be happy, productive, and well… WITH them, without obeying them, without ignoring them, without fighting them, without arguing with them, without justifying them, without being bothered at all.

What if you could get unstuck by asking different questions?

What if the source of your suffering, the source of your emotional pain isn’t caused by what you think is caused by, but by what you do with it?

These questions, once you are on the other side of the Great Divide… they are easy, obvious, and common sense.

But on THIS SIDE of the Great Divide they don’t make much sense, and certainly there is nothing helpful about them.


You live in a machine called racket and….

…and you feed the machine, unwittingly
Every single human (and to a certain degree lots of animals) has automatic ways of being, that could be called a machine, because their behavior is predictable, it is machine-like. Push a button and outcomes the same result, every time.

Every person I know is, more or less, an emotional wreck… a thinly disguised heap of upsets, fears, anxieties, and other very unpleasant feelings. As an empath I see the disguise and feel the truth.

The gap between what you’d like to be, calm, collected, smart, graceful, close, intimate, effective, important, creative, productive, etc. and the reality, the truth: you are bogged down by bad feelings, bad thoughts, doubts, insecurities, fears… stuck, stuck, stuck. In survival mode alternating with sudden bursts of inspiration, hope, etc.

The people who visit this site can be divided to two distinct groups:


How much good are you able to receive? A gram? A ton?

Your ability to receive depends on the size of your cup… or the empty space in your vessel.
A vessel is like a cup. If you are buying stuff but aren’t receiving value from what you buy, your cup may be too small, or your cup may be full with stuff you already know, you already do… your cup may even be overflowing…
Your vessel and your actions
It’s a psychological fact that you choose to buy something or not to buy it emotionally and then, after you bought it, you justify it rationally.

Whether it is to choose a partner, choose your work, choose a project, or to buy something like a course is immaterial: the psychological fact remains: you buy with emotion and justify it later with your mind.

But how does it really work? Why do you really choose certain things and say no to others?


Inspirational quotes that make you feel worthless… How Facebook screws you up

Someone gave me a framed poster some 20 years ago. I have hated it that long… Today it became useful.

Some of the inspirational quotes we read are not inspirational at all, until we get to a place that they are useful. Inspiration as a momentary good feeling is useless, or even harmful. In the comparison, the mind’s habitual activity, we always come out smelling bad.

Unless you can really use it to get yourself a new attitude, a new direction to move in, they are good on the surface, but destructive on the inside.

Why? Because it makes you feel even less apt, even less valuable, courageous, worthy, smart, confident, etc. than you were when you first looked at the quote.

This poster reads: “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”

Now, stop for a moment, close your eyes, and experience yourself, your emotions, your mind, reacting to the saying.


How your soul correction predestines you to certain diseases… and what you can do to prevent it

How being a politician, politics, the attitude is connected to disease, illness, and such?

In very simple terms, the attitude, the context inside which a “politician” lives is that an action isn’t about an action, it is about something else, preferably hidden.

Don’t be surprised if you find that your life is largely the life of a “politician” with a hidden agenda.

Before I continue, before I give you examples, let me explain why it’s important to know.

When I look at people, look at them from the inside of them… as a true empath, I find that they are split. That there is a lot of “space” between their true intention and the intention that they want others to perceive.

That split is what creates illness. The gap between the two realities: hidden agenda and projected persona.


New health article on my other blog: your digestion and your mood

I have been experimenting. I have also been muscle testing what supplement to take, for 2-3 weeks now. Before I only muscle tested some minerals but took, every night, the stuff that helps me poop.

To my surprise, the muscle test didn’t agree with my habits: Intestinal Formula to move my bowels was needed every other day, and my extra strong probiotics was “yes” every third day, and the day in-between the regular probiotics was “yes”. Turns out, the regular probiotics has a different combination of beneficial bacteria.

I am still pooping every day, but the stool is firmer, and there are no recognizable food particles in it.

So, I have come to a conclusion that I’d like to share:

Food gets broken down, digested by bacteria in our intestinal track. But each type of food needs a different type of bacteria.

Read the rest of the article here

The biggest leap to happiness, health, wealth, love…

If you wanted to make the biggest leap up… happiness, health, wealth, love…

What do you think you’d grow?

Some measures are easier to grow than others.

Some measures, like everywhere in life, will grow easily, but  overall their effect will be small.
While others create an avalanche-like result when you grow them even just a little bit..


3rd level?


I want to address a widespread issue I see in self-improvement with a lot of people.

People struggle, and their results are minimal, nothing to write home about. Or they get a result and then nothing… even what they got goes away.

Part of the reason you struggle, is you’re trying to advance to a level you’re not yet ready for.

Instead of trying to master one thing at a time, you try several things…

… and end up mastering none.

What are the levels I am talking about?