Not able to form strong relationships? Maybe it is the fructose in the baby formula!

not-able-to-form-strong-relationships-fructoseThere are some unchallenged myths about well-being, being emotionally and intellectually well-adjusted, that are ripe to be challenged.

One of the myths, one of the urban legends is that infants, when they grow up in an institution, and aren't touched, held, they develop to be emotionally disturbed, aloof, self-absorbed, etc. adults.

But what if there is more to this early development than meets the eye? What if it isn't about being held? What if it is the food they are given is at fault? What if it is the baby formula?

Some of my closest associates were either adopted as infants, were prematurely born, and were not breast fed as infants.

We demonstrate the personality traits that are described in the following excerpt from an article by Bruce Perry

The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationships take many forms but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are those relationships with family, friends and loved ones. Within this inner circle of intimate relationships, we are bonded to each other with "emotional glue" — bonded with love.

Each individual's ability to form and maintain relationships using this "emotional glue" is different. Some people seem "naturally" capable of loving. They form numerous intimate and caring relationships and, in doing so, get pleasure. Others are not so lucky. They feel no "pull" to form intimate relationships, find little pleasure in being with or close to others. They have few, if any, friends, and more distant, less emotional glue with family. In extreme cases an individual may have no intact emotional bond to any other person. They are self-absorbed, aloof, or may even present with classic neuropsychiatric signs of being schizoid or autistic.

The capacity and desire to form emotional relationships is related to the organization and functioning of specific parts of the human brain. Just as the brain allows us to see, smell, taste, think, talk, and move, it is the organ that allows us to love — or not. The systems in the human brain that allow us to form and maintain emotional relationships develop during infancy and the first years of life. Experiences during this early vulnerable period of life are critical to shaping the capacity to form intimate and emotionally healthy relationships. Empathy, caring, sharing, inhibition of aggression, capacity to love, and a host of other characteristics of a healthy, happy, and productive person are related to the core attachment capabilities which are formed in infancy and early childhood.

But interestingly, beyond that, beyond the loose bonds or no real bonds we share, we share one other thing: we are all intolerant or sensitive to fructose, we all have GAPS, an digestive disorder associated with bloating, gas, and stomach aches.

Is it an accident? I don't think so. What if breast feeding is more important than previously thought? What if in addition to the bonding through providing the infant with nourishment, the breast milk that contains little or no sugar, is the culprit.

After all, all of us got fed being held in someone's arms, so touch was there, the eye contact could be there, but what was in the bottle was formula, not breast milk?

2 thoughts on “Not able to form strong relationships? Maybe it is the fructose in the baby formula!”

  1. I can’t follow what you are saying at all… the breast milk is the culprit? Meaning it’s bad? Then you say it’s good? Where does the fructose come in? What do you mean “we are all” intolerant to fructose? Who is “we”? Everyone, or just those who can’t form relationships? If this were written more clearly it might make some sense but as it is it doesn’t.

    1. I am sorry for your experience.

      I have re-written the article (my part) a little to make it clearer.

      What I am saying there, that the fructose in the baby formula is the problem, not (only) the lack of touch in childhood.

      I say nothing about breast milk… I am talking ONLY about formula.

      And the ‘we’ is the group of people I teach, we have fructose intolerance and we were adopted or preemies… and therefore we were fed baby formula instead of breast milk.

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