Accepting, allowing, making room for what you don’t want in the context of health

facial-swellingOne of my students went to a dentist. The dentist hit a nerve while giving her a novocain or lidocain injection, and then, instead of finding another spot, kept on pressing on.

She was in major pain, I recommended that she practices allowing, accepting, and it will help her heal.

The instinct is, the knee jerk reaction is to tighten up, resist, ponder how to fix it, reject it, go to another doctor, think about malpractice suit... and other resistant and "normal" reactions.

I have observed people, including myself, inflicting more damage on themselves by doing all the things I recommend against.

Yesterday I forgot that it's the first of the month, and my monthly torture is due. I didn't realize it until about 9 pm... and until them I tried all the things I recommend against... to ever increasing pain and discomfort.

Today I have a face and chin swollen to double on the left side. Every fiber of my being wants to blame, know, feel like a victim, but I restrain myself... it's a wrong place to go.

The mind keeps on giving advice: put ice to it, put hydrogen peroxide into your ears, blah blah blah.

Muscle test says no to bacteria, to infection, to virus, to lymph node swelling, it says yes to an actual critter.

A few weeks ago I found signs of ear mite infestation in my left ear... I treated it, I thought. Yesterday I started to get partially deaf to that ear... today I put some baby oil in the ear, and during that there was this sharp pain and the sudden swelling.

I think that the ear mite chew itself through my skin and is now in my blood stream, or in my tissues... a foreign object, still alive.

You need to know about me that I hate bugs. Especially on me. In me: that is unspeakable horror.

Sitting here and instead of clawing my face, instead of calling everyone who is willing to listen, I am sitting here and typing this article. And observing myself being deaf, observing my jaw being tender and feeling as the swelling is now up to my left eye... oh my.

Life is like this: whatever you resist persists. Whatever you don't allow to be won't allow you to be.

Even if my face stays this way till I die, I'd rather live and do my work, than spend my time worrying about it, trying to fix it, talking about it... past this article, I mean.

Because being able to express yourself, your fears, your worries is important. If you have no one who is not trying to fix it for you, then just write to me, or write a journal.

Like I am doing it.

No resistance doesn't mean being a doormat. No resistance means not allowing something to take you out of your life, for its own purposes.

But, if you are sick, your job is to take time out and get well.

I am not sick, at least I can't see that I am, I can't see that bed rest would change anything.

So I am working... but won't appear in public for a little while... lol.

I trust that the body will figure it out. It will digest or reject the foreign body. Entomb it, is my guess.