Podcast: Play in new window | Download
If you want to go from zero to money, for example, fast, you’ll never do what it takes to make money.
But why? Why would you not do what it takes?
Almost any good why question takes you to an invisible dynamic, more often than not the invisible dynamic of the backroom dealings of an innocent looking deli.
In the front honest business is conducted, while in the back room anything goes.
You suspect it right: it is a Mafia type of business. And you are the mafioso.
In the front you have an innocent sounding question: Why can’t I do what it takes? Why can’t I be grateful? Why can’t I forgive my wayward husband? Why can’t I stop eating what is bad for me? But why do I treat my mother like she is the enemy?
What I recommend that you, at least, suspect some sinister undercurrent, instead of continuing to pretend, even to yourself, that you are a good person, and that you really want to do what you seemingly can’t do.
We all have this invisible dynamic. Some more, some less. But for all: it is deadly and yet we feel innocent.
And therein lies the mischief.
We believe our own press. Don’t!
I don’t much care if you deceive others… but don’t deceive yourself!
The ultimate prize you get from this dynamic that is aptly named racket, reminiscent of the Prohibition Era racketeers, is that you don’t have to be responsible, you don’t have to be on the hook for your behavior. The I can’t… or you can’t blame me for… or some other happy horseshit.
What keeps this dynamic going is your declaration of innocence, you asking why.
But in nature nothing continues unless they get energy through the movement itself… or from the outside.
In this racket dynamic you get energy both ways… so the racket runs and runs and runs.
The outside is people pity, or compassion, or helping. Fuel to the fire.
- Women whose husband cheated, or did some other ‘unforgivable’ thing… other women, now even the woke movements… fuel to the fire.
- Women who are ‘sexually abused’… but are still wearing boob lift, and deep cut, and wiggle their butts… same dynamic… Really.
- Or the dudes who can’t make money to save their lives… the whole family saves their asses from ever having to carry their weight.
The inner fuel to the fire is more subtle:
Here is the list someone (not me) compiled
being right/make another wrong
justify/invalidate another
look good/make another look bad/avoid looking bad
dominate/avoid domination
win/avoid losing
and avoid being responsible for any of it
The first one, being right about something, especially about something or someone being wrong is obvious. Even if who you are making wrong is yourself… you are right about it.
Here is an example, recent, as recent as from this morning:
Is forgiveness my linchpin? If not, what should I prioritize? I was shocked that goodness is open. Honestly, shocked. And trust? WOW. I don’t see myself as good or trusting. Manipulative, tricky, sneaky… not what I would describe as good. LOL.
- So what is she right about? She is right about all the nasty things that she says about herself.
- What is she off the hook for? For being good, and maybe even great. So she avoids so she doesn’t have to…
This is subtle, but it is so frequent that it is mandatory for you to get it!
This is also the biggest learning for you today… if you have been with me for some time.
When you put yourself down, it is ALWAYS about avoiding some domination, the domination of a have-to, of a need-to.
What if you are putting yourself up? Higher? same thing. You are doing it to avoid some domination, the domination of a have-to, or a need-to.
Capish?
No animal likes to be dominated… but humans made avoiding domination an ‘art-form’… in the shape of a racket.
And they pretend that they are innocent… but no one is.
Only when you are willing to be guilty of a racket, only if you are willing to say: hell yeah, I am running this racket to free myself of some domination… I’d rather be poor, wretched, of poor health than do what there is to do.
To pretend that you are NOT RUNNING A RACKET is what we call the ‘human condition’.
Every racket has two sides: the costs and the payoffs.
- We call the ‘positive’ side of the racket, what you get payoff… payment slipped to you under the table. No one needs to know it… even you lie about it.
- The other side is called the ‘cost’ of running a racket. Poor health, no or not enough money, no affinity, no energy, no self-love, no real accomplishments. And surprisingly: no freedom.
Any and all of the costs are fodder for the racket… you can complain about it as if you didn’t cause it yourself.
Some clients in the past focused on freedom, being free to be themselves… And ran the racket ragged… lol.
The racket is like a machine that unless you run with it, it shreds you… And, of course, you aren’t free, you cannot be free when and while you run the racket… you run it and then complain about it.
What a farce!
And because it is the main dynamic of the human condition, no one can avoid it.
I stopped running the racket… Meaning: I ARREST IT each time I feel it wants to run… but I do feel the pull. The pull to complain about something and be pulled into the racket. I have been, surprisingly, very successful at it, even though I have had plenty of opportunities, given the economy, my health, the raccoons, the incompetence of some companies.
The racket isn’t the only invisible dynamic. If it were, I wouldn’t have a 53 invisible dynamics course…
And I even have a 54th and a 55th invisibles…
And all of those dynamics are killers. And all of those dynamics, once you can recognize them clearly, you can stop them from running your life to the graveyard or to the poorhouse.
- But if you needed to pick just one: I would pick the racket to master. Master I said, not dabble in.
- If you wanted a second: I would make it ‘meaning‘… the stuff you attach to facts so tight, that you can’t tell what is real and what is not.
- And if you were unusually ambitious, for the third I would choose filters/frames. Why that? It can actually take you out of the misery, if applied with some skill.
Yeah, someone who could master all 53 would be on the PhD level…
What does it take to master anything?
And we are back to where I started this article:
If you can’t appreciate slow… you will never get anywhere
If you want to go from zero to money, for example, fast, you’ll never do what it takes to make money.
And if you want to go directly from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence, you’ll never have any competence. But no matter what, you need to go through conscious incompetence, and conscious competence to get to unconscious competence, that is very much like muscle memory.
Darn… Right? You don’t have time for that, because… because what do you need the time for? Just look and if you care to find out, document what you are using your time for.
Back in Hungary I had a job that I had to commute to by trams… you know those yellow street cars… on rails. I used the time to learn French. Every day, on the way to work. On my way home the tram was way too crowded to do anything. So I made friends… ran experiments.
Every day I learned 100 new words in French, and reviewed another 100 I supposedly knew already.
In a year and a half I passed the state mandated language test on the highest level…
When I finally got myself a car, I listened to audiobooks. 10-20-30 times…
What do YOU spend your time with?
Get the 53 invisible dynamics courseHow long does it take to master something?
I would ask the question differently. How many CONSCIOUS repetition do you need to master something to take it from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence?
I would say 40. But just listening to something is not repetition, and won’t count.
- I used conscious learning for French.
- Also: once I got a car, I used just listening for the audiobooks, many of them about marketing.
- I mastered French to the degree I did.
- I have some memories about the marketing… but I didn’t learn it.
So no, even a thousand listenings won’t do anything for you.
That is what you have been doing with my courses, with my activators? Listened to them?
Now you know what you should do differently in the future.
PS: One of my students has had a project to learn to ride the unicycle… you know, one big wheel, not even a handle bar to hold onto.
She has been doing it without giving any consciousness… Guess what? She hasn’t learned it in months… Because your muscles won’t remember what you are not present to… Same with your brain… listening is not going to cut it.
What I teach here is complex skills, and they require a different kind of learning. Here is an article from teachmagazine that can be useful.
