I haven’t had many people say that I confuse them,1 probably because to say that is confrontational, and only about 4% of you is confrontational. Not that you don’t think that, but it takes courage and individuality to utter those words, and you don’t have it in you.
What would it take to say those words, without animosity, without anger, without pointing fingers? If you could solve that conundrum for yourself, life would be a lot better, wouldn’t it?
Until the age of about 40, my biggest issue was what to do with my anger. I made up a story, based on accidental coincidences, that my anger kills… and that I am a murderer. Obviously, with that cornerstone of a belief, it was impossible for me to express my anger in a socially acceptable way, so I suppressed, and then I exploded, and I repeated that pattern for 40 years, to my detriment.
I had ulcers, nervous breakdowns, depression, insomnia… not pleasant.
So, for me to learn to be confrontational, confronted and response, confronted and be well, calm and collected, was a huge shift in my being, in the right direction.
Anyway, here is a talk transcribed from Osho, that I think you’ll enjoy.2
Baby, my whole work is to confuse you!
Osho, I’m confused hearing you say there is no God. There have been many beautiful moments in my life when I feel something moving through me which I know is not me. I used to call it God, now I call it godliness. But I still don’t like hearing that there is no God. Can you ease my confusion?
Baby, my whole work is to confuse you! Unless you are utterly confused, you are not going to drop your knowledgeability. (I call it Tree of Knowledge stuff…)
What do you mean when you ask me to “ease your confusion”?
In other words, you want certain, settled knowledgeability. You want to convince yourself that you know it. I cannot commit that crime. You do not know it.
So first I have to remove all your knowledge – which is bogus anyway. You have not earned it, you don’t deserve it. It has not grown within you, it is all rubbish that you have collected from books, from people.
I am going to confuse you more and more. And look, what is your confusion? You say that there have been moments in your life which you used to call God – you cannot deceive me.
I know you may have experienced a few beautiful moments; everybody experiences a few beautiful moments of well-being, of great uplift. Seeing a sunset, suddenly you are silent. Or listening to the tidal waves of the ocean shattering on the rocks on the shore, suddenly you feel almost a nobody before this vast existence. Looking into the sky and the stars you may have had certain moments, and you may have called them God. Don’t make God so cheap. I am raising God higher than he has ever been.
The Jewish God says, “I am a jealous God. I am a very angry God. I am not nice, I am not your uncle.” Jesus tried to raise the Jewish God, and that was his crime. He said, “God is love.” Now, this is very contradictory. The Jewish God says, “I am jealous, I am angry, I am not nice,” and Jesus makes him a goody-goody: “God is love.”
This man Jesus should be removed before he destroys their certainty that God is jealous, angry. You have to be afraid of him, because that will keep you on the right path. If God is love, then who bothers what is right and what is wrong? A loving God cannot punish you in hell for eternity.
But Jesus on the one hand says, “God is love,” and on the other hand – he is a Jew after all – the eternal hell remains. He cannot see a simple fact, that if God is love then eternal hell should be removed – because you need not be afraid of love.
Love gives you freedom to be yourself; sandwiched between heaven and hell you cannot have any freedom, any individuality. I am trying to raise God. When I say there is no God, I mean there is no person as God, there is no personality as God.
You have to understand clearly that personality is something false. The word personality comes from the Greek persona – persona means a mask; in Greek drama the actors used to have a mask. You know sona means sound; a sound coming through a mask was called persona. You cannot see who is behind the mask; hence the actor has a personality. And if you all have personalities, you are all actors – you are not being authentic, sincerely yourself. Personality and individuality don’t mean the same thing.
I am taking the personality of God away. I don’t want him to be an actor – you have so many in Hollywood. Strange, that the place is called “Hollywood”.all gods, personalities, great personalities. I don’t want God to be a Hollywood actor. I am trying to destroy his mask, and once the personality drops what is left is godliness. That is the true individuality of existence.
I will not say, “God is love,” because that still keeps God as a person. On the contrary, I say, “Love is God.” You can forget all about God. If you can understand love, that’s enough religion; more than that is not needed.
I use the word godliness and you are confused, because those moments.have you seen anybody in those moments that you can call God? You have not seen anybody in those moments, because there is nobody. You were using a wrong word, I am correcting you. Those moments you can call moments of godliness. I am changing God from a quantity to a quality.
God is a quantity; godliness is a quality. And you are confused by it? Just a hangover. Shake yourself well – slap yourself and shake yourself – and all confusion will disappear.