We are judged all the time. Justly, unjustly, the feeling of being judged is familiar to all of us... and some of us is bothered and paralyzed by it more than others.
What's painful in being judged is that the judgment contains a kernel of truth (or more) and the other part is the judging themselves: in judging they place themselves above us... simply unbearable to the sensitive Precious "I".
This story is about my very recent "bout" with being judged... and shows what is on the other side of judgment... how to free yourself from it so it doesn't sting quite that much... maybe not even at all.
...in fact, without that secret switch you can't really get to 200 vibration, and if by accident (siphoning someone else's energy) you got there... you'll lose it... because to get to 200 and stay there... you need this capacity...
Everyone has a good firm suggestion what is the most important spiritual capacity of a person who'll go far... very far, or at least as far as experiencing the good life goes...
Because the good life is not very far... no matter what anyone says.
If you ever wondered where guidance comes from, here is a great example, from about 10 minutes ago.
In an email conversation, one of my "interns" was commiserating with me... because the refrigerator died again, and this time there is no excuse: it needs to be replaced.
But... in order to bring in a new one, I have to push stuff aside, clean the old one from now rotting stuff... and I feel very weak to even contemplate doing it.
So she says (my intern): "and everything feels heavy when you're weak."
Lucky formulation of a sentence... because it woke me up. This, what she says, is true across the board. It is true in the physical realm, and it is even more true in the "psychological" realm: if you feel weak you'll do little.
No one looks at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as showing you what you need to work on next.
And given that only a minuscule percentage of the population ever reaches the higher levels of the needs, that is a stupid thing to do.
You don't automatically advance to the higher levels, no matter how much "high" desire you have, no matter how empty you feel, how locked in you feel, how much you hate that you are meek, or abused, or have no freedom.
It takes work, courage, and ingenuity. f... RIGHT?
Let's talk about identification a little more... the identification that gives you the illusion that you are a person, but in fact it what is standing between you and becoming a person.
So what is a person? A person is someone who has a consciousness, a Self, that guides their actions, their relationship to life. When you ask: who is he? show is she? what comes up is not what they do for a living, what awards they won, how well or poorly they do their job... but something deeper and constant... They are that everywhere, on the job, in the public, in the bedroom... everywhere.
If you identify yourself with stuff on the periphery of your being, on the horizontal plane, what you say about yourself, what you want people to know is that you have won an Emmy, three time...
Or that you have had HIV for twenty years going
Or that you are gay
Or that you are black
And alas, it leaves you with no Self. The stuff you identify with has no consciousness, and have no defining power on your character.
Let's do a little quiz: Which of these people/characters have a self?
If you found out in which quadrant you chose to live in, beauty, truth, goodness or power... and now try to argue, or you are worried, or you are resigned... consider that you are just doing what you are doing: you want to be where you are not... or more precisely: you never what to be where you are, you never what to think what you are thinking, you never want to feel what you are feeling.
So you do what you are doing, think what you are thinking, feel what you are feeling only so-so... A student of mine coined the phrase: in the neighborhood of truth.
If you can't physically stop doing what you are doing, etc. then you withdraw into the cave of your mind, and languish there.
It is a safe prison... more like a tomb. You don't have to be with yourself.
Why don't you want to be with yourself? Because when you look into yourself, you find evil inclination, you find ugly, and ultimately you find empty. Not empty as in nothing, but an abyss. You get scared and you run back to your periphery, where it is so busy, you don't have time to even contemplate that there is nothing inside... that there is no you.
One of the big interruptions, potentially, are the times when you get sick.