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How to become someone who can make good decisions that really serve you?

Is it worth it? Is it worth the bother, the effort, the work? Will it get me finally what I want?

One of the reasons people don't like to try new things is because they cannot judge whether they can do it or not. Whether it will be easy or not. Whether it will be pleasant and enjoyable or not.

How come? Why is it so difficult? Life is complex, and most of us have no tolerance for complexity. Complexity, ambivalence, ambiguity are normal, but the capacity to hold them becomes available to you in only at a certain brain development age... If you got stuck in young child brain development, that is most people, you have never developed the capacity.

Can you develop this capacity now? Of course you can. What is preventing you from doing it? Your low TLB number... you are a Twitchy Little Bastard... and you can't deal with complexity, confusion, or looking long enough to actually see something.

Some of my students, when they learned about my habit of looking long and more than just once... as a way to deal with my dyslexia, have started to practice the same... and their ability to hold controversy and ambivalence has increased... because of that practice. But if you fancy yourself smart, quick, etc. Looking long and hard is going to be difficult, because your precious "I" will tell you that only stupid people look long and hard.

Actually the opposite is true: your precious "I" is deceiving you and keeping you... eh... stupid. In the stupid as the stupid does sense. Continue reading "How to become someone who can make good decisions that really serve you?"

Desensitizing you to the mind-noise


the unexamined lifeI watch Netflix series that don't make sense on the surface for me to watch. But when I look, there is no book, no fiction, that would teach me that principle.

I am looking for principles. Principles are a lot like laws. According to the dictionary, a principle is a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.

When things don't work, there is something you don't see... when things don't work, most of the time what you don't see is that the principle or principles upon which you build the thing that isn't working, are not sound principles.

If your premises are false, wrong, or mistaken, whatever you build on it won't work.

Most of humanity's life is a history of false premises. All the statements of what humans are supposed to do, allowed to do, are false premises, popped out of someone's near-sighted, or skewed brain. Continue reading "Desensitizing you to the mind-noise"

Do You Rock, or Do You Wait to be Rocked? Can you be coached?

Do You Rock, or Do You Wait to be Rocked?

or "Coaching and your ambition number..."

There are two main widely diverging schools of coaching that I can see.

  • One is like a cheerleader or motivator... the coach is trying to get water from a rock...
  • The other, the coaching I practice, is very different.

The principle of the second type of coaching: you can only coach someone who is in action. You can redirect them... but they have to be in movement. It is not my job or responsibility to get you into movement. Continue reading "Do You Rock, or Do You Wait to be Rocked? Can you be coached?"

For you everything is the same as everything else, except that not always…

The second part of the title, "except that not always" is doesn't apply for at least 10% of you: you won't even see the difference when I point it out. 1

The most frustrating thing is, that you are sure you are saying or understanding the right words... but you don't. And you blame it on the speaker saying that what they said doesn't work.

How do I know?

For most people, who become a student in my programs, this is the first hurdle to pass.

You come into my program with a 300 accurate vocabulary, and you only hear the words you think you know what they mean, but that is not what I said.

I only find out what you heard when you tell me my words back to me... wrong. inaccurate. different words. Different meaning. Or Tai's words, if you are in the 67 steps coaching... 1 Continue reading "For you everything is the same as everything else, except that not always…"

Create a life you love

Oh no! This video software that used to work doesn't work any more. I cried out... This can happen to anyone. Technology changes so rapidly, keeping pace with it is both expensive and time consuming.

Sometimes there is an upgrade. Nowadays upgrades cost money... or the software developer simply abandoned you... and you are stranded with a software that doesn't work any more.

I have been teaching what I teach for seven years. Teach people a world view that has been tested and true, and includes the invisible. This world view is sharply different from the accepted norms... but it works, instead of just being a nice theory like what psychologists and philosophers teach. Or even Landmark Education... or the Kabbalah Centre... or any of the gurus. Continue reading "Create a life you love"

The art of being well, being unphased, and impervious… for real.

I had an interesting unintended experiment this afternoon.

I have a loud burr coffee grinding machine.

I was ready to make some coffee (I drink cold dripped coffee) and ground the coffee beans while I was doing something else.

I found out that I am much better ignoring memes than ignoring loud noises. I could not hear myself thinking. I was making mistakes... I pondered what I was doing...

This gave me an opportunity to put myself in your shoes. What it must be like to be living in the constant jarring noise of the memes...

Here is what I have seen so far: Continue reading "The art of being well, being unphased, and impervious… for real."

Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state

Frame: state change. Causing yourself or another to change their emotional state, aka attitude.

The myth of "IS"

One of the invisible tools the memes use, the memes that keep us trapped and unable to take control of our lives is to spew "is" on us.

OK, that was a long sentence. let me see if I can reword it. The memes freeze us into a life where we have no power. It is in the wording. The freezing power comes from the wording.

We have spoken about the having to, needing to, wanting to, and should... these are a group of tools the memes use to rob us of our own power, and render us puppets.

The tool that renders us powerless to change is the improper use of "is".

  • Whenever you feel you need to change, this meme tool is at work.
  • Whenever you point a blaming finger at yourself, at the world, or at others, this meme tool is at work.
  • It is under learned helplessness. It is under resignation, cynicism, and unless you learn to recognize it, you'll fight it... like Don Quixote was fighting the windmills. No chance to win.

Continue reading "Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state"

Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%

Every learning is becoming. Every action that is aimed at learning but doesn't lead to becoming... is not learning, it is just a pretense. Treading water. The drift.

But becoming is not easy, and it takes longer than you would expect. OK, longer than I expect. Longer than I have been expecting... 🙁

Why? because some of the learning requires you to be "right there", ready for that particular learning. You first need to become ready. Continue reading "Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%"

Is it worth it?

This question, "is it worth it?" can be about doing something... something that is not immediately pleasurable, not immediately profitable. Certain soul corrections consistently answer this question with: "it isn't worth it."

But how about buying something? How much should something cost, to reflect its value to you accurately?

On the surface this question sounds so true, so smart, doesn't it? After all you often have this sneaking suspicion that things are overpriced! WTF, right?

But if you look at value versus price comparisons, you ultimately need to look at through a different question: through whose eyes are you looking?

Let's look at an example. I hope to shed light to the difference: Continue reading "Is it worth it?"

Emotional intelligence is the best known, but there are many different intelligences…

Emotional intelligence is the best known intelligence of those that aren't measured in the IQ tests, but there are many different intelligences... Emotional intelligence is spoken of because that is something everyone needs and everyone needs YOU to have it.

In your starting point measurements, eight out of the 12 measures depend on your emotional intelligence, and if I want to be quite truthful, even your health number depends on your EQ as well. So in a roundabout way I test your emotional intelligence.

If you find yourself upset by what other people say, or what you hear they say, etc. chances are the problem is with you, namely with your ability to consider that what they say says more about them than about you.

If you think of yourself all the time, if you think things are personal, then you haven't become an adult emotionally.
Continue reading "Emotional intelligence is the best known, but there are many different intelligences…"