Actually, I continued to participate in Landmark after the incident I'll tell you about... but NEVER intended to contribute any more. Or not really. I was participating from hurt... knowing that what was broken cannot be fixed.
Virus attacks on some of my old websites. Lots of updates. Then the computer upgrade I ordered arrived... I was scared... and oops, it didn't fit my computer. Why? I don't know. I ordered another one on Amazon, printed the return label... and we shall see.
It's 1 pm, and for all intents and purposes, I haven't even started my day. I'll have appointments in the afternoon, and I could be all whacked out... but I haven't broken my stride.
It is all in a day's work, I say... Errors, even virus attacks are par for the course.
The interesting thing is: if I haven't done the Amish Horse Training Method, I would be pulling my hair out, or would be in bed with a serious case of whatever you call when life goes to shit.
I should be doing some laundry. I have run out of socks... And anyways, I want to tame this beast of not doing my laundry.
I gather a load's worth of stuff, carry it to the washing machine... and the distaste, the disgust is so strong... I take a beeline... and sit down by my computer.
Distaste, eh? Yeah, says muscle test. Disgust? yes. Was it always there? No. Was it from when i was 3? later... from age seven.
What was happening at age seven? I went to school. We had a live-in help: my mother was working on her Masters Degree, coming home around nine every night. My brother was about a year old... and was probably driving the live-in help bonkers.
And I recoil from dirty laundry...
I sit really quietly. The fear joins the distaste. I feel terror. I feel being beaten. Screamed at. Wrapped in wet sheets... Can't breathe...
I must have wet my bed. I don't remember. My body remembers. The fear, the disgust, the gagging.
Your mind, your stupid part, has no direct knowledge about reality. It has no concern, no regard to reality... It has in it what the memes have programmed it to have... 1% reality, 99% b.s. And your mind is, therefore, your worst friend. It is killing YOU and it is killing your life... sometimes slowly, sometimes really fast. 1
What is an adult, what is a child... and does your ego-state (Child, Parent, Adult) influence how much money you have, how much love you have, how healthy you are? 1
In the starting point measurements I measure (#19) To what degree you have access to your adult capacities. 2 or asked in another way, how much does your adult run your life? The more adult the more results...
And how much is the child running your life, how much is it running your life to the ground?
One of the most surprising thing in the world of humans is that humans can't tell if they are smart or not. This error leads to lives that are not fulfilled, filled with fear, trepidation, or on the other extreme: boasting and disappointment. 1
I just watched two episodes of a Korean series where most people were dimwitted.
Dimwitted is just another word for "not smart"... but it is a good word because you can see that something is dimmed... as in "it's dark here... you can't see much".
Why am I such a Nazi when it comes to who I am willing to work with?
Remember the soup Nazi? Who ran his soup takeout shop like a prison camp? And people lined up and waited patiently to be given soup... that was so good, and so hard to come by, they were willing to earn it... I want to be like the soup Nazi.