This topic comes from a reader, thank you. Without her prompting I would have never looked there. It would have been a big missing.
I am going to share only what I really know, from my experience, not some theories of some big names, like Freud… I am giving you only Tree of Life.
In my experience, most people have self-punishment to some degree.
There are quite a few ways to get to guilt and shame, which is at the root of this behavior.
Self-punishment for doing something wrong, lack of self-discipline
One way is to do things that we know are wrong. We want it, desire it fervently, and then we do it. If the environment is unforgiving or we have even seen anyone punished, verbally or physically, we expect to be punished.
Desire for pleasure is like a two-sided coin (do you know a coin that is not two sided? lol). One side is the fulfillment of the want or desire for pleasure, the other side is always misery. Why? Because pleasure is momentary. It comes with a downside, and the downside is either guilt, or more desire plus guilt.
Continue reading “Self-Punishment, Self-Punishing Behavior”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:18 — 2.5MB)
Subscribe: Android | Email | Google Podcasts |
If you are on this site, you will find yourself, more or less, in this article. And it may change your life.
A student writes,
Hi Sophie, I think I take trivial and superficial things too seriously. How can I let go of these immaterial incidents or people and focus on important things that truly matter to me?
this was my answer
“This is the sign of two things: 1. your map of reality isn’t very similar to reality. 2. you have too much importance attached to nice words about you… i.e. you want to be defined by words not by your actions.
Continue reading “Do you meet others’ expectation of you? No? Don’t care? There is a price to pay…”
Freedom versus Liberty, thrivers, survivors, or fallen by the wayside
When I ask people what they want, many say they want freedom. When we poke into it: they want a sense of freedom, but think the way to get to freedom is through liberty… Let me explain.
Just like with all words we use, here is huge confusion, a collapse of two distinctions: freedom and liberty. They are not connected. They don’t even overlap!
Continue reading “What is Freedom? What is Liberty? What is the difference?”
Arrogance, appreciation, Sherlock, myself and your pebble
If you have attended one of my Pebble webinars, you know that your pebble is your dominant desire that the world at large frowns at.
I have seen, on the calls, the desire to be significant, the desire to be different, the desire to belong, to be accepted, the desire to be untied, unburdened, allowed to be yourself, the desire to live on Easy Street, and the desire to do something that really matters.
There are more, but these are the desires that have been represented on the calls already. We have a lot more calls scheduled, so there is a chance that we’ll see a lot more.
The desire, when you look at it, is legitimate. You may have the same desire. Unfortunately to you, your dominant desire was not honored as valid, not honored as legitimate by your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your church, your peers.
Continue reading “Arrogance, appreciation, Sherlock, myself and your pebble”
You can’t catch what you don’t see; do you keep them sacred like a great white tiger?
I was wondering what I should write about today.
I have half a dozen half written posts, but what should I write about today?
Then, as I was doing some energy work on myself, it came to me.
I have a young friend, he is about 4. He is my chiropractor’s son, he lives in Baltimore with his mother, but for about a week every month he is in Syracuse, and I always make it a point to spend a few hours with him.
Today was the day, and we were playing, and singing, and laughing. He goes to school, and he had learned a lot of new songs, so he was singing a lot today. One of the songs was “You can’t catch what you don’t see”
That is what I want to talk to you about today. That you want to see what you don’t see. Continue reading “You cannot catch what you don’t see and the great white tiger – Republished”
When you ask someone: what is the opposite of fear, they say “courage”. But they are mistaken. Courage will never take you to the other side of fear… fear won’t disappear with courage.
The opposite of fear is neither fear nor courage, it is abundance.
Fear is like a flower closing its petals. Courage is still trembling, still closed, still fearful.
But a fully open flower, blooming, fully knowing that a day later, a week later it will be dead, is throwing oneself into the whole big beautiful world, and living life with abandon. With wonder. With gusto. With dance.
When you look at your life, look at the people you know, you rarely, if ever, see anyone like that.
Continue reading “What’s the opposite of fear? What is the opposite of stinginess? Updated”
In spite of The sight, and other capacities newly available to you, You don’t seem to be able to change…
You have been unsuccessful getting their guidance, getting your information from outside of the mind.
This manifests, among others, in your inability to muscle test correctly.
The question is why?
The phenomenon, what actually seems to happen is this: you understand where to look, how to look, and you nod rapidly. You bring great examples to show how you just succeeded in using the new capacity… but I can smell the mischief… you are trying to throw me off my tracking.
Now, I say “you” but who is this “you”? What aspect of a person am I talking about?
In this case, the dominant aspect,
the ego your delusional self, who you fancy yourself to be, your “precious I” you defend at all cost.
Continue reading “Why can’t you change? What is keeping you the same? Updated…”
I am republishing this article, because distinguishing is the most missing thing for humans at this day and age.
When I test people in the starting point measurement, the number that relates to this is the clarity score: how many words they can use accurately. I won’t explain why they are connected… just know that when you can’t hear and can’t see, your clarity is about the same as a blind person’s… with an ear muff…
It’s a rare opportunity to go from innocent infant to all-seeing adult, being able to observe it at the same time.
When I first did the Landmark Forum, the koan of the session was: for you everything is the same as everything else, except that not always.
When you are an infant, for you everything is the same as everything else… no distinctions. No distinction between your body and the environment. You are just as ready to suck on your feet as you are ready to suck on someone else’s finger.
From time to time you’ll see something strange, like you reach out, as always, and your hands remain empty: the object you reach for is out of reach…
You learn the world, your world, slowly, and experientially. Through seeing, hearing, touching, tasting… like a baby.
Continue reading “What is it that you can’t see that if you saw it you could, finally, become happy?”
One of the crucial steps in the 67 steps, in Step 26, the belts and suspenders step is a step that has been paying me dividends for a year now.
It began when I first heard it, sometime in February, maybe March last year.
It is a revolutionary concept: with services, resources essential to survival, don’t rely on source only. Most nightmares are a result of violating this principle.
You are locked in to a relationship where you can be used, abused, taken advantage of… because without it your pants fall… it is a belt, and you don’t also have a suspender.
For me it was my transportation to grocery shopping and the chiropractor.
Both essential, you’ve got to eat, and you’ve got to be well, right? Continue reading “How just one thing, one principle, one distinction can turn your life around”
If you read yesterday’s article on coherence, my 21 hour (so far) experiment of playing the Coherence Generator… (new name old audio) I can promise you that it is nothing short of miraculous.
Creativity, innovation, growth, learning, takes a lot of coherent energy. When your energies are incoherent, you are troubled, are in a hurry, or are afraid, creativity is impossible.
Just imagine yourself a juggler… because that is what creativity is: being able to keep and move around multiple objects in the air at the same time, so you can see new connections. Really…
Most people can’t keep one thought in the air for longer than seconds… unless they fixate on it… fixating means: all other flying objects fall… So most people have no experience in creativity, because they are mostly incoherent.
And just like with water turning from incoherent to coherent only at a certain vibrational level (frequency?) you also need to raise your vibration to a certain level to become creative. Temporarily, at least. Continue reading “What can you do, what must you do to benefit from the teachings of the “Law of Attraction”, of “The Power of your Mind”, and Natalie Ledwell’s Mind Movies?”