Bad News? Good News? Everything you ever wanted comes to you through people

Everything you ever wanted comes to you through people. Love, belonging, being heard, appreciation, validation, money, sex, teaching, learning, enjoyment… everything… Unless you have someone witness your life, nothing gives you pleasure…

OK… maybe on a desert island this is not 100% true… unless we consider that you for yourself is also “people”… and unless you give it to you you won’t have it. That is witnessing, that is validation, etc.

In order to truly give it to yourself, you need to learn to bi-locate. To be at two places at once. Not physically, but mentally, experientially.

That capacity is also the cornerstone of being able to sell… The only way to make money, by the way. Continue reading “Bad News? Good News? Everything you ever wanted comes to you through people”

Readers ask… about negotiation, enrollment, differences of opinion, arguments

Dear Sophie:

I just watched this interview with the author of “Never Split the Difference.” It’s a book about negotiation techniques. The author is a former FBI hostage negotiator. I found it quite intriguing. My head was spinning just trying to keep up with the conversation. Afterwards, I was left with very mixed feelings. It seemed to me that my desire to learn more about these techniques was rooted in greed and a sense of wanting to learn in order to win or manipulate. Whatever the feeling, I am not comfortable with it; it was not a pure feeling. I have a different idea about communication, one having to do with connection, more along the lines of Steven Covey, ” Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood,” and Dale Carnegie, and the Communication Course. Maybe I misread the author (without having read the book). Maybe my aversion to learning negotiating techniques is related to my resistance to A is A. I am curious to know the truth value of the material and the intention behind it.
Continue reading “Readers ask… about negotiation, enrollment, differences of opinion, arguments”