I should be doing some laundry. I have run out of socks... And anyways, I want to tame this beast of not doing my laundry.
I gather a load's worth of stuff, carry it to the washing machine... and the distaste, the disgust is so strong... I take a beeline... and sit down by my computer.
Distaste, eh? Yeah, says muscle test. Disgust? yes. Was it always there? No. Was it from when i was 3? later... from age seven.
What was happening at age seven? I went to school. We had a live-in help: my mother was working on her Masters Degree, coming home around nine every night. My brother was about a year old... and was probably driving the live-in help bonkers.
And I recoil from dirty laundry...
I sit really quietly. The fear joins the distaste. I feel terror. I feel being beaten. Screamed at. Wrapped in wet sheets... Can't breathe...
I must have wet my bed. I don't remember. My body remembers. The fear, the disgust, the gagging.
Some of us, some of you deal with issues that step from physical issues.
for example, if your mother got pregnant while undernourished, especially in the 90 essentials, you may have developed a number of so-called genetic diseases... that are not genetic at all. Including dyslexia or some form of cognitive displacement issues.
Dyslexia is a brain issue, where certain specialized brain cells went to the wrong place.
I got a thank you note today. I get quite a few of those, I must admit.
They are a great way for me to track how the methodologies and principles I use in my teaching work. I mean, how effective I am, how effective the methods are. They track my ability to make a difference in the world. (Someone please remind me to write about how I view my making a difference... OK?)
This note reads
Today was a huge success. I did not even recognize myself. I was attempting to have a conversation with my sister when she became extremely aggressive upon trying to control me and failing. She was in my face yelling and pacing around in circles. I remained calm and did not attempt to defend myself as the lies flew at me. I was able to stick to the subject and not accuse. At this point her husband jumped in and tried to intimidate me, pointing his finger in my face and yelling. They both looked like mad men ganging up on me. I did not raise my voice or get emotional. This is the first time in my life I had no fear in a confrontational situation and it felt GREAT! To be honest I think it frightened my sister & her husband. They did not know what to think of me, I have had many weaknesses in the past but now I am strong.