How to make commitments so you Feel Good About Yourself?

Originally posted 2010-12-14 12:30:59.

Feel Good About Yourself

Keep Your New Year Resolution? they say they are broken so often, they seem to be made to be broken.

Here is an article that I’d like you to read if your overall sense of life and your important areas of life is that they are stressful, and that you are never getting ahead. When you re-evaluate your projects with the method taught in this article, you will feel good about yourself, because you will keep more of your resolutions.

The method in this article can make a huge difference, and the time it takes is very small compared to you being stuck for a long-long time.

Joe (not his real name) made a new year resolution to stop smoking. He set the date, and he made a plan. Then he started to implement his plan. The plan was to gradually cut down. Then he kept on smoking.

We had our usual coaching call on Wednesday at noon. I asked: what would you like to accomplish in this call?

Joe started to talk about his weight… that one day he lost a pound, the other he gained 2… He weighed himself upon awakening every day, and he was mortified at the up and down nature of his daily weight. He was spending a lot of time worrying about that, he confessed.
Continue reading “How to make commitments so you Feel Good About Yourself?”

No One CAN Do It FOR You… And Even if They Could…

Originally posted 2008-11-15 08:02:53.

Most “do-it-for-you” programs don’t work. Why? Are they bad? Are they fakes, thieves, or is there something in our design as human beings that prevents us from taking advantage of these opportunities. This is what this article is about. Surprising. Documented. True. Continue reading “No One CAN Do It FOR You… And Even if They Could…”

What is Negativity? Prepare to be surprised…

What is negativity?

Most of us seem to know what it is, we feel it, some in their guts, some in their heart, but feel it, especially when other people are negative. When it’s within us, we feel despair, anxiety, worry, we have a sense of dread, or we are sad, nervous, stressed, hyper, manic, depressed, or just listless. We get sick from it. Continue reading “What is Negativity? Prepare to be surprised…”

The secret to 10x your life in spite of fear

10x your lifeExperiencing pain? emotional? physical? Where does pain come from?

Most people cannot properly, accurately identify what they feel inside. On one hand self awareness is low, on the other knowing what the inner dynamics are is not taught in any school, or by any ‘guru’.

Given that it is not taught, you’ll have a hard time, I guess, to accept that all pain is the result of resistance… emotional, physical… all pain.

But what about fear?

Fear, what you call fear, is resistance. No matter what name you call it, anxiety, worry, it is still resistance and it causes pain.

This article was inspired by two things, maybe three? Continue reading “The secret to 10x your life in spite of fear”

Fear keeps you alive, panic gets you killed…

60% of people opt to think of the best, the best outcome, that it will, somehow, work out. Whatever ‘it’ is. they tend to panic.

10% of people opt to think of the worst… and they do whatever they can to prevent it. They use fear to be prepared.

30% of people sleepwalk. They never look to the outcome or the future or the consequences of their actions. They are not present. For the most part they are in their heads, that are, the heads, either in the clouds or in the sewer, but not in the present moment.

I don’t like panic. It paralyzes me, so instead I look and see what’s coming down the pike, and do what is in my power to make it the best possible outcome. I am a 10%-er Continue reading “Fear keeps you alive, panic gets you killed…”

Anxious? Fearful? There must be a belief underneath…

Everyone has an Achilles Heel. Mine is deceit…

On the surface it looks like I make that behavior wrong… but what is underneath it is a concern.

A concern is what keeps your foot nailed to the floor so you cannot do much more than dance around that nail.

The concern is feelings stupid when I fall for the deceit… when I can be duped, when I am too stupid to be able to tell.

Of course I could say: I love people, I see the best in them, blah blah blah, but that is not the point.

I have an impossible standard for myself to never miss the sign of deceit, to never be found out that I am too stupid to see it a mile away. Continue reading “Anxious? Fearful? There must be a belief underneath…”

Brain Fog or depression… what’s the connection?

Is brain fog the same as depression, or is depression associated with brain fog?
My assertion is that if you treat the brain fog, you also treat the depression.

Their overlap is 90%. And because brain fog is not emotional but all physical, the approach to treat it is all physical.

The human body is complicated. Not complex… Complex is still penetrable with the human mind, or with artificial brains. No. It’s complicated… not penetrable.

What different foods, different chemicals, different gut flora do and how they interact is complicated.

Trying to understand it is impossible. Not near impossible: it is impossible. Explaining, finding cures or fixes to symptoms is impractical and ineffective, and yet, this is the level of medicine and science… explaining, finding cures for symptoms, finding fixes to symptoms. Ugh.

So what can you do? Continue reading “Brain Fog or depression… what’s the connection?”

What is the negative energy you are trying to eliminate?

Before i say anything else, all the illustrations about negative energy, negativity I use in this post are b.s. and harmful… The Hungarian Christmas pictures… I remember being a child…

Yesterday I was on a group coaching call where a so-called energy practitioner… Continue reading “What is the negative energy you are trying to eliminate?”

What is the difference: I get to shovel the 10 inch snow… and I have to shovel show?

In my weekly coaching call with my only business/marketing student last night, I went deep into the causes of why someone with a degree, why someone who is making a living, cannot move further up the life-satisfaction, life effectiveness scale.

I have found two blatant holes in him, that my guess is shared by all of you, or most of you.

  • 1. a total blindness of what gives meaning and therefore the mood for life.
  • 2. a total inability to see what is cause and what is effect.

So how do you fix that? You don’t.

When you find something that isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you’d like it to, your knee jerk reaction is to fix it. Or change it. Or stop doing it.

But unless what you found is seed level, you can work till the cows come home, and you will only produce pretense, but not a change.

Continue reading “What is the difference: I get to shovel the 10 inch snow… and I have to shovel show?”

What you say and what you do when it comes to your children

What you say and what you do… when it comes to your children becoming educated, productive people

One of the signs of the overwhelming inauthenticity and low level of integrity is the gap between what people say and what people do.

My definition of authenticity is that there is nothing in the unsaid. Nothing in the unsaid that isn’t consistent with what is visible…

In essence, no lying by omission.

Authenticity is one of those big words that no one knows what it really means… so they go by feeling. The simplest way to define authenticity is that there is no pretense, no façade, no game playing. The person is the same through and through. When they are seen and when they are not.

Most people smile a lot in their pictures, but I can feel their anxiety, their fear, their inner trembling. An inauthentic smile.

One more thing that I haven’t said before, but given that we are working with memes and affirmations: if you obey memes, if you repeat memes, if you try to fit in with memes, you cannot be authentic.

Because your inner you, whether you know who it is or what it is, knows that what you are saying, what you are doing is not you… you are trying to fit in. Fitting in is not authentic.

Werner has a saying about authenticity: he says we are always inauthentic, so we can only be authentic (tell the truth) about our inauthenticity.

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One of the measures in the Starting Point Measurements is the inauthenticity measure.

Get your Starting Point Measurements

Inauthenticity… examples

I have been surveying mothers and fathers of children to find out to what degree they care about their children’s future.

Life wants more life… so one would assume that both men and women will want their children to become all they can become.

And when it comes to lip-service, this is often what they say.

But when it comes to putting their money where their mouth is… the truth is vastly different.

  • Less than one percent of women spend money on their children’s future. Education, skill building, music lessons, language lessons, educational toys, etc.
  • 30% of men do.

If you listen to memes, you are now surprised.

Memes tout women as more caring, but these numbers talk against the memes.

Actually, in my experience, what women see as caring makes their children dependent on them, and makes their children a TLB-1…

Having barely any chance of making it in life.

TLB 1 people want me to be nice to them, to protect them, to be like a mother. But the whole field of mother-child is bankrupt when it comes to helping children become strong adults.

The words ‘caring’ and ‘love’ mean different things to different people: there is barely any agreement about any of it.

But we can agree to disagree… how women hear the words love and caring, I am guessing from their behavior, is being loved and being cared for.

To women it means Receiving. Desire to receive for the self alone.

While men hear it, maybe, as a giving, as an earning, as something that allows them to function in the world better, given that their sexual needs, and maybe some other needs can be taken care of.

In my occasional conversations, women behave like this 80% of the time, or maybe it is 80% of women 100% of the time?

I don’t know.

But the number of women who don’t recognize what ‘deal’ they entered when they got married is staggering. The deal the man thought was made, what the man thought the deal was is that the woman will help their spouse make a living. That the will become mothers to the future generation so the man’s genes will get expression.

This is not only true about talented, high earning women: this is true for women who are not high earning, not learned, not highly skilled.

And of course between parties who didn’t spell out the ‘deal’, and now they are at odds, the children are a burden, or mere negotiating chips.

I do see exceptions, when the woman is exceptional.

And occasionally I do see role reversals as well.

This is not genetic. This is meme based.

  • The genes know what is important.
  • The memes say what is profitable for the meme creators.

Don’t be mistaken: memes, the meme creators have a profit motive, and they may also have an overwhelming desire to create a zombie consumer society where they can sway popular opinion at will.

All you need to do to create a zombie consumer society is to keep people be interested in some vague ideal that they need to fill, be pretty, thin, crave sex, and to harass the men so they can never feel at peace and in balance.

Or be a career woman who fights for equal income, even if she can’t focus at work with sick children at home. To have the children be a burden.

No matter which direction the memes sway you, you are not on the side of life.
All the shoulds and all the should nots are memes. All of them. With one agenda: to keep you out of balance, to keep you buying stuff… to be needy and wanty.

For many centuries it was only religion with its memes. But today… with the social sites… ugh.

With more and more memes every generation of humans is less sturdy, less hardy, less willing to be a self-starter when it comes to educating themselves… because there is hardly anyone who cares about it… other than caring to give lip-service.

The Reality Challenge will be ongoing… so you can sign up if you are at all interested in weeding out the memes… so you can start being the driver of your life.

Reality Challenge