What is Natural Growth and how to Accomplish it

unnatural growthGrowth feels good… People who grow experience being fully in life, in a dance with life…

Growth feels good… and yet, most of the people I know are either stagnating because they don’t put themselves in a situation where they need to grow, or they put themselves in the courses and seminars and coaching programs to grow, but they don’t grow because …

Well, what comes after that ‘they don’t grow because’ is what this article is about.

Continue reading “What is Natural Growth and how to Accomplish it”

The gap… let’s see how to use it to move forward, upward

Yesterday I had a huge whatever it is you call when you end up with cream on your face… cream from a cream pie.

I had been dismayed that my clients aren’t getting the gap, and therefore they don’t present me with real coaching opportunities.

I am intentionally writing this in a self-deprecating way, because I am, I have been humbled.

How? I said: it is easy…

…and then wanted to think of an example, and could not.

WTF? Continue reading “The gap… let’s see how to use it to move forward, upward”

I want for you what you want for yourself

It’s hard to be silently brilliant

Most every successful person either had a sounding board or a coach to discuss stuff with. Someone who had no vested interest in the results.

Why is that an important detail? Continue reading “I want for you what you want for yourself”

On coaching: what it is, what it isn’t… It’s a bridge

walk-the-bridge-with-me coachingGood coaching is a bridge… Bad coaching is not.

We all have some area where we don’t already have a bridge, a path, to where we want to be

What bridge? What is a bridge?

The bridge is what happens between an idea and its fulfillment, materialization. What happens between a problem and its solution.

Most bridges are connectors between words and actions. Or future words and the process that will make it work. Or teaching and what we actually make of it.

Or maybe our words and the feelings we want to feel, mostly about ourselves…

Words and feelings. Words and doing. Doing and something built in reality. Different ‘modalities’. Continue reading “On coaching: what it is, what it isn’t… It’s a bridge”

Internet Marketing Beginnings: Greatness as Potential

greatness as potentialEach great thing that was ever built started with something that had the greatness as potential only.

I had an inspiration this morning: I woke up early. I made myself a cup of tea, went back to bed, and read a little.

About an hour later I woke up from a dream of writing THIS article. Here it is, just the way it came to me in my dream:

Each great thing that was ever built started with something that had the greatness, as a potential only.

Most didn’t look like the start of something great. Many times it was a comedy of errors and their correction that took someone to something big. Continue reading “Internet Marketing Beginnings: Greatness as Potential”

The benefits, the drawbacks of a true empath coach

Most people, including coaches, are too wrapped up in their thoughts, in what they want, etc.

They cannot see outside of it… In essence they are locked into the nine dots… the famous exercise.

Here is another one I learned this morning, and I fell into the same nine dots trap…

A father and a son has a car accident. The emergency services take them to different hospitals given their injuries. Continue reading “The benefits, the drawbacks of a true empath coach”

Will You Succeed or Will You Fail in business?

Everyone has dreams, visions of success… A good job, a nice family, nice people, nice work, nice house…

But that is not what people have… When you ask people what made them who they are today, invariably all of them answer a version of the same thing: The past.

How they express this varies: my parents, my schooling, what I have been doing, my genes, etc. etc. but all in all, they all mean the same: what makes me who I am today is the past.

If that were true, that would be bad news, really.

Imagine that it is true. Now see yourself trying to be successful online. Given your track record, and your genes, and your past behavior, how much chance do you have for success?

I’d love to say zero, but it would be unfair to many of you. So instead, I answer it in a way that applies to all of you:

The same as yesterday. Or a year ago…

Now, that is a total bummer, isn’t it? Continue reading “Will You Succeed or Will You Fail in business?”

Law of Attraction vs. Victim Mentality… Choose!

I wrote this article back in 2007, when I was in Pam Ragland’s course…

I want to address the phenomenon of the “Law of Attraction” vs. “victim mentality” in today’s post.

Most of us interpret the Law of Attraction as a kind of “Cosmic Soup Kitchen” where you sit at a table, a waitperson comes and takes your order, and then you wait for your order to come.

Sometimes your order comes, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you get something totally different, something that you didn’t want.

Some people’s order comes faster than yours, some others’ slower, or never.

It all seems random, and capricious. Like the Universe is playing a game with you.

Frustrating to most, happy and great for some. It seems like there are chosen people, or lucky, and something invisible marks YOU as the one who should never get ahead, never get what you want.

Continue reading “Law of Attraction vs. Victim Mentality… Choose!”

Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher?

Feel Superior -$5

Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?

This question has been coming up for me with some students. And one-by-one I let them go.

When I coach someone, and they answer: good idea! I know they have no respect for me.

What is respect? Respect is seeing me for who I am. By myself, and in our relationship.

To bring fresh humility to the conversation… In the moment. Not from your memory, and not in comparison with your precious I.

If I have accomplished something: you can see it.

The dictionary definition is just one side of the coin: “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”

I don’t care what you feel. But if you cannot see that there is a path towards which you aspire, and I am further along that road and may have insights you cannot yet have… then you have no respect for me.

I have some students that “humor me”… “there is nothing to see… now tell me what YOU see!” is their attitude.

When you see nothing, you are SURE that there is nothing there…

…and that renders you not humble, not teachable, not coachable.

And our relationship will end then and there…

As I have said countless time before: what gives you your actions, your attitude is what you see!

There may be more to respect… I’ll go and examine that at another time.

Saying “good idea!” indicates that you could have come up with the same thing… that someone needs nothing beyond what you know and what you have, to say what they said, to suggest what they suggested.

This, in the normal course of events, tells me: it is time to cut the connection: there is nothing more I can do here: there is no willingness to be humble on the part of the student.

You could say: I have to earn their respect… but if I haven’t thus far, chances are I never will.

It all boils down to humility.

Humility is an indicator of how willing you are to learn. How willing you are to accept guidance and feedback.

It doesn’t mean that you are inferior, and it doesn’t mean that the teacher is superior. You can learn from everyone, sometimes what not to do, if you are humble. But if you don’t bring humility to a teacher/student relationship, then you’ll learn NOTHING.

Unless you can see, unless you know that the more you think of yourself the less you are able to learn. Unless you see that you cannot grow, you cannot learn, if you already know, you are stuck.

The number that tells the truth about you is the inverse of the humility number: how much you think of yourself. The students, ex students, soon to be ex students: that number is above 90%.

Unless you find a way to get off your high horse, you are stuck in your imaginary high… and no learning is possible.

On another note, I had the good fortune to listen in to two of my accountability members weekly call.

This was the first time I ever heard two of my students converse. And it was the best opportunity for me to learn what questions haven’t been answered, what questions and issues my students are struggling with.

They listened to each other respectfully, hoping and receiving a different view and therefore a different answer than they could get on their own.

Really, earnestly engaged with the issues that between where they are and where they’d rather be.

One real obstacle to move forward is high desire, whether it is coupled with desire trap or not.

What we call desire in this work is the “thing” you want, that you may even need to happen, but there is no pathway to actually get it. It always comes coupled with a sense of urgency, impatience… 1

Margoczi uses thirst in the desert. Two men are walking in the desert. One uses walking to get to the oasis, hopefully. The other man is trapped in desire. His imagination goes to a pitcher of perfectly cooled beer, the glass sweating, and the beer going down smooth. He can taste it, he can revel in it, he may even burp.

The first man is in ambition mode: walking, steadily towards the oasis.
The second man is already happy… his imagination, his mind has told him: no need to do anything. He lies down in the sand… and will die.

There is also an equivalent to the desire trap in the fear trap

In the fear trap where one is energized by the fear, pushes the energy to his limbs, so he can live. The other will engage with the fear in his mind, and will do nothing… and will die. Some people bounce between the two traps: the desire trap and the fear trap, and never amount to much… while their life force is used up with desire and fear… no activity, no results.

I would have never been able to see this dynamic between the fear trap and the desire trap without these accountability students allowing me to listen to the call (through a recording. I wasn’t on the call… that would have changed the dynamic.)

Bouncing off ideas from someone who is in the same game as you is a brilliant way to get more clarity.

You will hear their opinions, their experiences, what they are struggling with.

No Junior Sophie, no Junior guru… just brothers in arms sharing: two sets of eyes and brains can see more.

But if you’ll hear what I say with the same ears, then you are not a student… and you’ll not benefit from our interaction.

So what can you say, instead of saying: that’s a good idea? or “good point!” or “I guess what you suggest is better!”

Because when you say your superiority suggested remarks, you are sure that you see more, better, and superior to what anyone, ANYONE can see…

And what you miss is what the coaching is. You miss the essence of the coaching. You take the conversation to the mundane, two-bit, linear, and unseeing level of your own.

There are plenty of coaches on your level. The closer someone’s vibration (the lower their eye level is, spiritually) to yours, the more of what they say you’ll be able to get in its fullness.

When you listen to me, you get between 1%-maybe 10%. When you listen to them, you can get as much as 50%. So you don’t have to work, and they will like you more too… They will think you are a god among mere mortals.

And that is what you want, don’t you?

So what is really the difference between coaching and coaching?

—My coaching is always about the deep, invisible dynamic.

I endeavor to hand the power over to you. This became evident in the conversation of my two students. They looked exactly the way I taught them to look, and they saw what I saw. And they informed me that the whole inner reality is not yet visible. So I went to work, and looked where they pointed to… so I can see what we haven’t seen before.

I have shared it with them, and they could see that in fact it matches their experience.

The art is to know where the experience is coming from: the dynamic. The hidden reality.

You cannot coach on the level you cannot see… and you don’t benefit from my coaching if you cannot follow me to the rabbit hole.

If you are someone who is stuck on the level of the ground, we are not a good match: you won’t get the invisible, and you won’t get that you don’t get it.

I guess you already know that… On some level.

Do you disappear when you die? And does it matter?

be responsible for the energy you bringI have been spending quite some time with the dead.

I am finding that when you die, your energy doesn’t die with you. So all the billions of people who ever lived are still represented here by their energies. Are they souls? No. Do they every ascend? No. They are not… these are energies… something you can connect to, something that can commingle with your energy and wreak havoc.

This fact, the people who lived leave their energy behind, justifies my measurements that some of the most significant people who shaped humanity’s thinking actually never lived. They were constructs of many people. So they never died, never lived.

Jesus, Moses, Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu… King David Continue reading “Do you disappear when you die? And does it matter?”