When you don’t feel at home in your body, when your feelings, your thoughts pull you out of yourself, you have a sense that you are, somehow, lost in the shuffle. That you don’t have any say in the matter of your life, what you feel, what you do, what you say…
You feel you are put on a roller coaster, and it wasn’t you who put you there…
I once did a Landmark Education seminar where the main ‘mantra’ was (I paraphrase the funky Landmark language for you): ‘stand in front of what you can’t see, and keep on looking even though you can’t see anything‘
Everything that is valuable is invisible… when things are fast
In my Playground program (Playground: it is never too late to have a happy childhood) some people are in a hurry to get through…
How you do anything is how you do everything… they are in a hurry to get through life to get to the good stuff.
They are missing life, they are missing the partner call and benefits it can give them: getting present to the invisible.
What is invisible for you now becomes visible when you slow down.
Unfortunately to all of us, today’s lifestyle with the movies that have quick cuts, with social media, with fast cars, slowing down feels counter intuitive, so we take pride in being fast… and faster.
But being fast makes you miss everything.
The psychologist, Paul Ekman. who discovered micro expressions slowed down the film to see the emotion that gave the suicidal woman’s hidden despair away.
Slowing down your reactions will show you your real emotions… so you know, so you know what you are running away from.
The envy, the glee, the hate, the despair, the ugly… that you are not willing to share on the partner call because you have an image to uphold.
People who are putting makeup on their fake persona… prettying it up… but never show, never touch their real persona… and therefore they continue living an unreal, fake life… with the unavoidable consequences in the hidden regions of health… More about that later…
Slowing down you may be able to find your strait and narrow… your path to your own happiness and fulfillment… your soul correction.
Fast isn’t going to cut it.
The fence that is built fast will fall down fast… This is a principle, it is true for everything.
And everyone is looking for fast, push button, rapid… and everyone is unhappy. No accidents there.
The most important turning point for me was losing my privilege to drive. Not having a car completely eliminated the previously normal reaction to anything that was confronting, unpleasant, challenging, or hard: running away. Going shopping… lol. I am still reacting… but staying put.
I am still confronted a lot, but because there is no place to run, I am more and more choosing to look at what seems to be unconfrontable… and look at it. Look at it and going deeper, at the root issue.
For example, I have a real issue with violence, both in movies and in books. And of course in life.
I am deadly afraid of physical pain. I feel it in my groin. And I lose out on a lot of things that most everyone in my place could have, because I am reacting to that fear… I have even built a life on that: instead of having to ask people to do something for me, I have learned to do many many things, so I don’t have to.
I have an originating incident of asking and accepting help and being hurt, badly hurt. Pain so strong I passed out.
I am working on learning to ask… it is not going well… The fear is still a whole lot stronger.
Stare the tiger in the face.
I am also catching and taming a lot of knee-jerk reactions. As a company owner, I used to be the Firing Queen… hired fast and fired even faster. No prosperity as a result never knocked me conscious. Only slowing down has.
It’s uncharted territory to be patient, to give the benefit of the doubt, to allow all the answers to come to me, to emerge, as if from deep water. It is more alien from my personality and my persona as anything I do or have ever done… I am looking at myself with amazement as I am changing.
All movies are fast nowadays, so the only way for me to slow them down is to stop them to give myself time to catch up, and to take a contemplation break… sometimes longer than the movie itself.
Anything you do “in order to” is too fast. Life is not about speeding through it… it’s about living it. Living it in the moment you are living it.
In order to removes you from the present… and makes life NOT LIVED…
I have a rich life… in spite of the fact that I only leave my house on Tuesdays… grocery shopping, chiropractor, exercise class…
Everything else happens in my apartment… and yet I have an experience of living fully, or maybe even fuller than before. Sometimes I have urges, like wanting to go to my 50th high school reunion… But today I wrote my 50-year story, and it feels that I now don’t have to go. I can just enjoy the 30 or so similar stories my classmates wrote, and have a full experience, probably more pleasant. I don’t have to eat what they eat. I don’t have to travel. I don’t have to worry how I look. I don’t have to feel all those feelings… that I can handle one by one, but not all at once.
When I look what I would do if a ton of money fell on me… I would not have much use for it. Money has a tendency to burn a hole in people’s pocket, demand you to deal with it.
I’m free with no money. I value my freedom. More than money.
The world is rushing you. The world includes your parents, and your spouse… maybe even your teacher, your coach, all the courses…
There is no hurry on the creative plane. The creative plane is where meaningful life is lived. A life worth living.
I wrote this article in 2016.
Much has changed since then… the most important of all those is the price I have been paying with my health has come to the forefront.
It seems that hurry, taking pride in being fast is the number one reason people erode their health.
I am looking at myself, looking at clients.
Eating without tasting, eating without chewing. Talking without reflection, without pauses.
I have been measuring people’s biological age. And getting intensely curious what makes them age faster than they should.
I am starting to come to the conclusion that hurry is even more important than what you eat, your eating style, or your nutritional deficiencies.
That is, at least, what Source is telling me, through muscle testing. I’ll keep asking this question… and see if my current insight is accurate or not.
If you are on this site, you will find yourself, more or less, in this article. And it may change your life.
A student writes, Hi Sophie, I think I take trivial and superficial things too seriously. How can I let go of these immaterial incidents or people and focus on important things that truly matter to me?
Know thyself is what is one of the 147 maxims (a short, pithy statement expressing a general truth or rule of conduct. Not the same as a principle, but there are many overlaps… Most of these maxims are virtues. My favorites are “Know what you have learned” and “Be/Know yourself”, because they are maybe the most important. Do yourself a favor, and read them, and ponder.) inscribed in Delphi… 1
In fact, it is a principle.
A principle is something to live by, something to get guidance from.
When we talk about principle driven life, any of those 147, and countless other principles will do your life justice.
When I look at people, when I observe them, their lives have no rhyme, no purpose…