Debunking the myth of fast… fast and in a hurry

going nowhere fastEverything that is valuable is invisible… when things are fast

In my  Playground program (Playground: it is never too late to have a happy childhood) some people are in a hurry to get through…

How you do anything is how you do everything… they are in a hurry to get through life to get to the good stuff.

They are missing life, they are missing the partner call and benefits it can give them: getting present to the invisible.

What is invisible for you now becomes visible when you slow down.

Unfortunately to all of us, today’s lifestyle with the movies that have quick cuts, with social media, with fast cars, slowing down feels counter intuitive, so we take pride in being fast… and faster.

But being fast makes you miss everything.

The psychologist, Paul Ekman. who discovered micro expressions slowed down the film to see the emotion that gave the suicidal woman’s hidden despair away.

Slowing down your reactions will show you your real emotions… so you know, so you know what you are running away from.

The envy, the glee, the hate, the despair, the ugly… that you are not willing to share on the partner call because you have an image to uphold.

People who are putting makeup on their fake persona… prettying it up… but never show, never touch their real persona… and therefore they continue living an unreal, fake life… with the unavoidable consequences in the hidden regions of health… More about that later…

slow downSlowing down you may be able to find your strait and narrow… your path to your own happiness and fulfillment… your soul correction.

Fast isn’t going to cut it.

The fence that is built fast will fall down fast… This is a principle, it is true for everything.

And everyone is looking for fast, push button, rapid… and everyone is unhappy. No accidents there.

f8d7460f36309949349c9ea9e8b22ff8The most important turning point for me was losing my privilege to drive. Not having a car completely eliminated the previously normal reaction to anything that was confronting, unpleasant, challenging, or hard: running away. Going shopping… lol. I am still reacting… but staying put.

I  am still confronted a lot, but because there is no place to run, I am more and more choosing to look at what seems to be unconfrontable… and look at it. Look at it and going deeper, at the root issue.

For example, I have a real issue with violence, both in movies and in books. And of course in life.

I am deadly afraid of physical pain. I feel it in my groin. And I lose out on a lot of things that most everyone in my place could have, because I am reacting to that fear… I have even built a life on that: instead of having to ask people to do something for me, I have learned to do many many things, so I don’t have to.

I have an originating incident of asking and accepting help and being hurt, badly hurt. Pain so strong I passed out.

I am working on learning to ask… it is not going well… The fear is still a whole lot stronger.

Stare the tiger in the face.

I am also catching and taming a lot of knee-jerk reactions. As a company owner, I used to be the Firing Queen… hired fast and fired even faster. No prosperity as a result never knocked me conscious. Only slowing down has.

sidebar-largeIt’s uncharted territory to be patient, to give the benefit of the doubt, to allow all the answers to come to me, to emerge, as if from deep water. It is more alien from my personality and my persona as anything I do or have ever done… I am looking at myself with amazement as I am changing.

All movies are fast nowadays, so the only way for me to slow them down is to stop them to give myself time to catch up, and to take a contemplation break… sometimes longer than the movie itself.

quote-63Anything you do “in order to” is too fast. Life is not about speeding through it… it’s about living it. Living it in the moment you are living it.

In order to removes you from the present… and makes life NOT LIVED…

I have a rich life… in spite of the fact that I only leave my house on Tuesdays… grocery shopping, chiropractor, exercise class…

2fe86edf00f3bb6dd5c1228d6c9c9cccEverything else happens in my apartment… and yet I have an experience of living fully, or maybe even fuller than before. Sometimes I have urges, like wanting to go to my 50th high school reunion… But today I wrote my 50-year story, and it feels that I now don’t have to go. I can just enjoy the 30 or so similar stories my classmates wrote, and have a full experience, probably more pleasant. I don’t have to eat what they eat. I don’t have to travel. I don’t have to worry how I look. I don’t have to feel all those feelings… that I can handle one by one, but not all at once.

When I look what I would do if a ton of money fell on me… I would not have much use for it. Money has a tendency to burn a hole in people’s pocket, demand you to deal with it.

I’m free with no money. I value my freedom. More than money.

i-caution-writers-all-the-time-to-slow-down-and-pay-more-attention-to-the-work-in-front-of-them-quote-1The world is rushing you. The world includes your parents, and your spouse… maybe even your teacher, your coach, all the courses…

There is no hurry on the creative plane. The creative plane is where meaningful life is lived. A life worth living.

I wrote this article in 2016.

direction vs going fastMuch has changed since then… the most important of all those is the price I have been paying with my health has come to the forefront.

It seems that hurry, taking pride in being fast is the number one reason people erode their health.

I am looking at myself, looking at clients.

Eating without tasting, eating without chewing. Talking without reflection, without pauses.

I have been measuring people’s biological age. And getting intensely curious what makes them age faster than they should.

I am starting to come to the conclusion that hurry is even more important than what you eat, your eating style, or your nutritional deficiencies.

That is, at least, what Source is telling me, through muscle testing. I’ll keep asking this question… and see if my current insight is accurate or not.


Get your Health Measurements

Do you meet others’ expectation of you? No? Don’t care? There is a price to pay…

If you are on this site, you will find yourself, more or less, in this article. And it may change your life.

A student writes,

Hi Sophie, I think I take trivial and superficial things too seriously. How can I let go of these immaterial incidents or people and focus on important things that truly matter to me?

this was my answer

“This is the sign of two things: 1. your map of reality isn’t very similar to reality. 2. you have too much importance attached to nice words about you… i.e. you want to be defined by words not by your actions.
Continue reading “Do you meet others’ expectation of you? No? Don’t care? There is a price to pay…”

Know Thyself is a principle… but how do you get to know yourself?

Know thyself is what is one of the 147 maxims (a short, pithy statement expressing a general truth or rule of conduct. Not the same as a principle, but there are many overlaps… Most of these maxims are virtues. My favorites are “Know what you have learned” and “Be/Know yourself”, because they are maybe the most important. Do yourself a favor, and read them, and ponder.) inscribed in Delphi… 1

In fact, it is a principle.

A principle is something to live by, something to get guidance from.

When we talk about principle driven life, any of those 147, and countless other principles will do your life justice.

When I look at people, when I observe them, their lives have no rhyme, no purpose…

Looking good is not a principle.
Wanting to be right is not a principle
I am pretty/smart/stupid is not a principle
I want to be rich is not a principle Continue reading “Know Thyself is a principle… but how do you get to know yourself?”

Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?

Feel Superior -$5

Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?

This question has been coming up for me with some students. And one-by-one I let them go.

When I coach someone, and they answer: good idea! I know they have no respect for me. 1

Saying “good idea!” indicates that you could have come up with the same thing… that someone needs nothing beyond what you know and what you have, to say what they said, to suggest what they suggested.

This, in the normal course of events, tells me: it is time to cut the connection: there is nothing more I can do here: there is no willingness to be humble on the part of the student.

You could say: I have to earn their respect… but if I haven’t thus far, chances are I never will.

It all boils down to humility. Continue reading “Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?”

How to find your real self… instead of honoring your false self as yourself

As I have written before, the book I am reading now is the Metaskills.

The author is a designer, and looks at life through a designer’s glasses.

The article “You live in a world of your own design” is one of the favorite articles on my site. People want to design their lives.

The popularity of the program, Mind Movies builds on that desire to design… but the requirements for design are not there, not there for 99.99% of humanity… What is there is something else, something that doesn’t allow for design.

The basics of being a designer is what is most missing in life… if you really look, you can see it. Continue reading “How to find your real self… instead of honoring your false self as yourself”

Master your emotions by mastering the Amish Horse Training Method

If we didn’t have words, we would have no emotions. All emotions come from words… some are yours, some are not…

The Amish Horse Training Method is to be able to hear all the words that create emotions… and hear them in a way, that gives you a choice to honor them or not, depending of the source of the words, the relevance of the words…

The Amish Horse Training Method returns you to the driving seat of your life…

Not surprisingly, for most students the first step towards mastery is mastering their attention. Unless you can control your attention, you are a putz… and are controlled by someone or something, but not you. And for you to be you, you need to call the shot.

The luckier students admit that they have a difficult time sticking with a book… because they can’t pay attention to it, they can’t understand, or they can’t remember what they read. Or the do a narrative, argue with the book, agree, disagree… but have no idea what they actually read. They remember the arguing. Continue reading “Master your emotions by mastering the Amish Horse Training Method”

Already too busy? Stressed? Always busy? Always in a hurry? Trying to start a new project?

Stressed? Always busy? Always in a hurry?

These are all signs of you living on the competitive plane, the horizontal, the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

I have a book that I can see from my bed. It is called “The Life You Were Born To Live”

The title immediately creates desire and hurry

But the “You Were Born To Live” creates calmness and a quiet awareness. No hurry. No place to go. Just live.

Two words changed. Continue reading “Already too busy? Stressed? Always busy? Always in a hurry? Trying to start a new project?”