Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

What you say and what you do… when it comes to your children becoming educated, productive people

One of the signs of the overwhelming inauthenticity and low level of integrity is the gap between what people say and what people do.

My definition of authenticity is that there is nothing in the unsaid. Nothing in the unsaid that isn’t consistent with what is visible…

In essence, no lying by omission.

Authenticity is one of those big words that no one knows what it really means… so they go by feeling. The simplest way to define authenticity is that there is no pretense, no façade, no game playing. The person is the same through and through. When they are seen and when they are not.

Most people smile a lot in their pictures, but I can feel their anxiety, their fear, their inner trembling. An inauthentic smile.

One more thing that I haven’t said before, but given that we are working with memes and affirmations: if you obey memes, if you repeat memes, if you try to fit in with memes, you cannot be authentic.

Because your inner you, whether you know who it is or what it is, knows that what you are saying, what you are doing is not you… you are trying to fit in. Fitting in is not authentic.

Werner has a saying about authenticity: he says we are always inauthentic, so we can only be authentic (tell the truth) about our inauthenticity.

Inauthenticity… examples

I have been surveying mothers and fathers of children to find out to what degree they care about their children’s future.

Life wants more life… so one would assume that both men and women will want their children to become all they can become.

And when it comes to lip-service, this is often what they say.

But when it comes to putting their money where their mouth is… the truth is vastly different.

Less than one percent of women spend money on their children’s future. Education, skill building, music lessons, language lessons, educational toys, etc.
30% of men do.

If you listen to memes, you are now surprised.

Memes tout women as more caring, but these numbers talk against the memes.

Actually, in my experience, what women see as caring makes their children dependent on them, and makes their children a TLB-1…

Having barely any chance of making it in life.

TLB 1 people want me to be nice to them, to protect them, to be like a mother. But the whole field of mother-child is bankrupt when it comes to helping children become strong adults.

The words ‘caring’ and ‘love’ mean different things to different people: there is barely any agreement about any of it.

But we can agree to disagree… how women hear the words love and caring, I am guessing from their behavior, is being loved and being cared for.

To women it means Receiving. Desire to receive for the self alone.

While men hear it, maybe, as a giving, as an earning, as something that allows them to function in the world better, given that their sexual needs, and maybe some other needs can be taken care of.

In my occasional conversations, women behave like this 80% of the time, or maybe it is 80% of women 100% of the time?

I don’t know.

But the number of women who don’t recognize what ‘deal’ they entered when they got married is staggering. The deal the man thought was made, what the man thought the deal was is that the woman will help their spouse make a living. That the will become mothers to the future generation so the man’s genes will get expression.

This is not only true about talented, high earning women: this is true for women who are not high earning, not learned, not highly skilled.

And of course between parties who didn’t spell out the ‘deal’, and now they are at odds, the children are a burden, or mere negotiating chips.

I do see exceptions, when the woman is exceptional.

And occasionally I do see role reversals as well.

This is not genetic. This is meme based.

The genes know what is important.
The memes say what is profitable for the meme creators.

Don’t be mistaken: memes, the meme creators have a profit motive, and they may also have an overwhelming desire to create a zombie consumer society where they can sway popular opinion at will.

All you need to do to create a zombie consumer society is to keep people be interested in some vague ideal that they need to fill, be pretty, thin, crave sex, and to harass the men so they can never feel at peace and in balance.

Or be a career woman who fights for equal income, even if she can’t focus at work with sick children at home. To have the children be a burden.

No matter which direction the memes sway you, you are not on the side of life.

All the shoulds and all the should nots are memes. All of them. With one agenda: to keep you out of balance, to keep you buying stuff… to be needy and wanty.

For many centuries it was only religion with its memes. But today… with the social sites… ugh.

With more and more memes every generation of humans is less sturdy, less hardy, less willing to be a self-starter when it comes to educating themselves… because there is hardly anyone who cares about it… other than caring to give lip-service.

The Reality Challenge will be ongoing… so you can sign up if you are at all interested in weeding out the memes… so you can start being the driver of your life.

Reality Challenge

This article is evergreen. I wrote it nine years ago… and it still speaks to me… the addictive tendencies will not disappear with time…

Yehuda Berg writes:
There are people in our lives who don’t want to receive what we have to give them. …
… we invest efforts into keeping some relationships burning in our lives that we’d be better off letting burn out.
… life is all about circuitry. When we share our Light with people who don’t want to receive it, it’s like trying to fill a bottle when the cap is still on. Try as you might, with all of the love, intention, and desire to share, your energy simply cannot penetrate. And as with our favorite spiritual illustration, the lightbulb, if the negative pole is blocked, the circuit cannot be completed, and the energy cannot flow.
It’s not about judging people as worthy or unworthy. It’s about discerning who is ‘open’ to receive, and willing to use what we have to offer – wisdom, love, time, concern – no matter what flavor!

No doubt, if you go through your relationships, in your head, one by one, you are going find several that fit the above description: Your desire to contribute to them is not received with an equal amount of desire to receive from you.

Some people, including myself, more than I am happy to admit, make it our life’s purpose to give where it is not appreciated, or even not wanted. But everyone, at one time or another, decides where to give, by their own concepts, instead of looking where there is the most reception.

At the same time, one may fall into the opposite trap, the bottomless pit, or the bottle with the cap off, but cracked. I call that the Black Hole… the other extreme of the No Circuitry sole correction.

I used to have a client (or two, or three, or four… grrr) where we would have great conversations, I would be able to express all the light the Light wanted me to channel, but nothing would stick with the recipient.

This particular client, let’s call him Matt, was hungry for solutions, hungry for light, hungry… insatiable. What he wasn’t hungry for is making changes in his thinking or in his actions.

My style of coaching is to leave the client with a set of practices or action that they must complete in order for the session to make any real difference. Matt never did any of the actions, any of the practices. Instead, he came to every call as if the previous one had never happened. Unchanged.

He remembered them all right, but remembering is the booby prize… not much value there. His life didn’t notice he had that session.

I “fired him” from my practice… after a while.

I noticed that there was a certain co-dependency developing: it gave me a sense of accomplishment and an experience of being very bright to channel the Light. And he came to me the way an alcoholic goes to the pub.

I needed to restrict my addictive tendencies and ask him to get his daily fix someplace else.

Result? I started to channel the Light into my writing, into my business, into my garden, and into my own well-being. All areas were parched… and all those areas are now starting to blossom.

The point? There is an abundance of Light available for you to channel. But channel it to someplace where it can make a difference, someplace where it will cause abundance. OK?

Tag: desire to receive

What you say and what you do when it comes to your children