The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…

You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.

A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…

Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”

The puzzle that is called “human”. Your theory matters…

Humans are an unpredictable mystery, and therefore have given rise to many many theories.

The way humans examine things to make sense of them is by taking them apart. It works relative well with people, but with a living thing, it is not that effective.

So humans make up parts and elements… and some seem to work to one degree or another, but nothing quite works perfectly.

The mechanical models medical “sciences” use doesn’t work well at all… we have more diseases than before…

The psychological models of ego, and subconscious, and beliefs, and such don’t work well either… How do we know? Because the results are temporary, or there are no results. Life is simple… The results are the shadow… showing that the method worked or didn’t work. Continue reading “The puzzle that is called “human”. Your theory matters…”

“Either everybody counts or nobody counts”

20 years ago I had my first entrepreneur value profile done.

It was some 30 pages long… a lot of English. But it said something like: I don’t work well through others…

Bummer…

A year or two later I got my certification to become a value profile consultant. Then I learned to see all that the 30 page said in English (meaning lots of words) at a glance on a grid.

My starting point measurements is a lot like that grid. It is more meant for the coach/consultant to know how to guide you, than for you to enjoy reading to indulge your delusional self.

Sigh.

So today, 20 years later, I looked at coaching, both as a client and as a provider. Continue reading ““Either everybody counts or nobody counts””

What Activates The Flow Of Prosperity And Happiness?

desire for prosperity The most re-tweeted article on my sites is about attracting money. 1 The number two is about the dark side.

Continue reading “What Activates The Flow Of Prosperity And Happiness?”

The four core default contexts… or Why I stopped participating in Landmark Education?

the four core enforced by booksActually, I continued to participate in Landmark after the incident I’ll tell you about… but NEVER intended to contribute any more. Or not really. I was participating from hurt… knowing that what was broken cannot be fixed.

18 years ago, as I was coaching someone, it became clear to me that there are this four core invisibles, that are underneath every issue, every distinction, every weird, unethical, unsavory action a human being makes. Continue reading “The four core default contexts… or Why I stopped participating in Landmark Education?”

More on the 10 dark years theory… or why it takes so long to succeed

Most winners in life master one thing in particular: they are astute. Astute: having or showing an ability to accurately assess situations or people.

Accurately assess… as opposed to have an opinion, have a good feel, or guess…

Is that a skill, a capacity, a virtue? What is it and how do you get it?

A have a new “most visited” post, the 31 quotes that give you chills… Why? Because it promises an experience… an experience you crave in the consistently dull and painful life you have.

Wanting to get chills without any other benefits says a lot about you and your life. What does it say? For one: you are a mystery to yourself…

I have said it before… humanity bars its way to evolution by throwing big words around. Continue reading “More on the 10 dark years theory… or why it takes so long to succeed”

Make your plane go where you want it to go… or what one thing you want to learn from Babe Ruth

Make your plane go where you want it to go…

This is probably the most shocking sentence in the whole 67 step program.

I literally don’t know anyone who lives that way.

People try to succeed, try a diet, try this and try that… while their plane crashes in every area.

So what is the difference between who are like that, who are on their way to become that kind of person, and others who never ever land their plane on the landing strip? Continue reading “Make your plane go where you want it to go… or what one thing you want to learn from Babe Ruth”

The Producers, The Takers, The Waiters, The Hopers, The Wanters… Which One Are You?

In this article that i started seven years ago, I looked at what it is that separates from Producers from Hunters and gatherers

I had a conversation with my friend, Nancy F., yesterday. The topic of the conversation, after some wild twists and turns, settled on what is the secret of Jewish people’s success.

Nancy F. has always wanted what Jews had, without having to be a Jew or doing what a Jew does… lol.

Much like my next door neighbor.

She want to be an Israelite without becoming an Israelite.

Here is an example: I look out the window between our houses. I mostly look to see if the mailman has been here so I don’t have to go downstairs and climb back a few times a day. Our mail comes at unpredictable times. Continue reading “The Producers, The Takers, The Waiters, The Hopers, The Wanters… Which One Are You?”

The fear of finding out… the fear of being found out

We have the real self and the false self, there’s nothing wrong with them, and everyone has both of them.

Given the two selves everyone has, being afraid to be found out is normal.

And being afraid to upset the apple cart aka ess (evolutionary stable strategy) is even more obvious. 1

In playing Freecell, one of the things I am experimenting with is moving stuff around, so the covered cards can be revealed.

It’s not a hasty, scrambling type of move… it is methodical, and scary.

Human tendency is to hold onto your gains. The ess. Every time I experience the resistance, I bring in the “upsetting the apple cart” and then I experience the breakthrough.

If it is a principle that all the power is tied up in the hidden dimension, what is hidden from your view…

Continue reading “The fear of finding out… the fear of being found out”

The life of a pinball… or Your expectations and your disappointments

Your expectations and your disappointments reveal to you and to everyone who knows anything about the unconscious world view that makes sure you are miserable.

You learned that the Universe, Reality, your body, other people are like a vending machine. Push a button and outcomes what you wanted.

Or a car, or an electric mixer. Mechanistic, there for your service.

Even the evil people, religion, law of attraction, manifestation people teach that… with one little twist: if you are good, then the machine will turn on and spit out what you wanted.

So these people with their little twist make it your own fault if and when it doesn’t work.

But what you think about the world and the way the world works are very different.

And you go from expectation to disappointment, anger, dismay, disgust… according to your temperament. Continue reading “The life of a pinball… or Your expectations and your disappointments”