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Integrity is an inside job. It is between you and yourself.
Everyone has two selves, one that is perfect, and the other that is flawed.
The perfect one is generous, loving, unconditionally. It is compassionate.
The flawed one KNOWS, i.e. assumes that it is judged, looked down upon, and is full of hatred, anger, fear, anxiety, rebellion, and expects to be loved and accepted the way it is… and even though is loved, and accepted… it can only feel its own emotions.
This is so with every emotion. You can’t feel the love that is coming towards you. You can only feel the love that you feel for the other, Your love. Your anger. Your hate.
So no matter how much the perfect self loves the flawed self, the flawed self will feel judged… hated, despised, etc.
I have been observing my clients and my students, and there is one common characteristic that only varies in intensity: and that is self-hate… and stinginess towards self… as in punishing the self for not being perfect. Continue reading “Self-love, self-hate… let’s dig deep on these, shall we?”
You live life as if some things were better than others, as if some things are wrong, and other things are right.
Truth is, these are all memes . This is not how life works.
Life works with physical laws, some of them we know, others we don’t, but they are laws nevertheless.
The difference between a physical/natural law and a rule is that for a law to be law you don’t have to agree to it for it to do what it does… But rules for them to be working on all involved, have to be accepted, agreed to, and bear the consequences if you don’t. Continue reading “Rule-making, rule-accepting separates you from reality, separates you from life”
You cannot help/change something that you don’t know what causes it…
Thoreau thinks misplaced value is the cause: We feel a void in our lives, and we attempt to fill it with things like money, possessions, and accolades.
I think that the truth is deeper than that.
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so
the necessary may speak.” – Hans Hoffman
Things are never how the mass of men want them to be. Not the way they want to feel, not what they want to do and not what they want to have.
Money is never enough. Or time… Or fun is never fun enough. Not enough love. Not enough respect. Not enough of anything.
On yesterday’s grocery shopping trip (I don’t have a car. So I go shopping with the community center’s van for old people.) I watched the other people… two days before the next “pay” comes in, they barely had enough money to buy an item or two. One spent those few bucks on wine… One couldn’t even come to shop… not until he gets his check.
I talked to an 80 year old and a 95 year old woman. By that age, it seems, you appreciate if you are feeling halfway decent. I am only 71… I’ll be next Tuesday… if you want to wish me happy birthday.
But most people aren’t that old, and they, you, are dissatisfied. Continue reading “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation… But why?”