Become someone who is living a life worth living

I have had people, ex-students, who tried the 67 steps and decided that it is not the way to learn… no matter what Sophie says… They knew better.

I could not put my finger on the attitude. I could see that it didn’t work, I could see that it didn’t serve them, but I didn’t have a word for it.

Until today, through listening to Step 4 of the 67 Steps.

This step, step 4 is about learning through mentors. Mentors are teachers, but not classroom teachers. One-on-one instruction where the teaching is tailored to you. Where you learn through osmosis. You emulate their whole being, how they approach issues… it is largely nonverbal.

By the way, it’s took me 16 months to seriously consider picking a mentor or two… to emulate. In every other area I had some results… in this one I just got to considering it… this is an 18 month schedule, not instant results…

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How do you know if you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? And how do you get out of the fixed mindset, really?

synonyms of rain in englishI doesn’t matter what you think you believe.

I am starting to notice that what you say you believe is one thing, what you actually believe is expressed a lot more truthfully in your actions and in your reactions.

One of the most useful distinctions I learned from Hungarian author, Margoczi, is the distinction of “devaluing of your ‘I'”

  1. If you have an I that can be devalued, then it must be fixed.
  2. If you compare your I with anyone else’s, and you are higher and you feel smug about it, or your I is lower and you feel bad about it, then you have a fixed mindset.

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Are you disappointed with yourself for not being higher minded, and achieving more in life?

be an empty spotFor years I’ve seen that humans, humanity, are stuck in a place where happiness is impossible, accomplishment is not predictable, and health is touch and go.

I’ve had big hopes, selfish hopes, that I will be the one to unstuck you.

Lots of other people have this hope… and the hopes remain hopes, because you have a vested interest to keep what keeps you stuck in place? If we knew what keeps you stuck, maybe we could unstuck you.

This article is an attempt to identify that one thing. The linchpin issue.
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Is the fixed mindset a sign of courage deficiency? Can you turn on courage?

If you can’t measure it it doesn’t exist.

The world’s population is divided. A small part tries to get results through effort, and the large part is trying to sail on their innate abilities alone.

People in both parts have an ego. Ego is normal.

Ego can push you forward, or ego can hold you back.

This is exactly how it works in the two parts of the population.

  1. The people who want to live through effort, learning, challenges use their ego to push them forward.
  2. The other part… hell, they use their ego to get offended from criticism, to hide from challenges, and to make sure they maintain their self-image… whatever it may be.

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You see only what the mind allows you to see

perspective-3This is a four years old article. I am rewriting it to include fixed mindset, the distinction from Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset.

When the mind takes over your perception you see what your mind wants to see.

We have all experienced how the mind tricks us into believing that something other than what’s happening is happening.

When you are dizzy, sea-sick or drunk: the room seems to be spinning. When someone tells you skinny is good, you start liking skinny. When someone tells you you are ugly, you start seeing ugly.

Here are some examples:

1. You are not allowed to see what your mind doesn’t allow you to see…

…this is why Japanese soldiers could not see, till the end, that they were beaten.

drowned-japanese-soldiersMore than that: Japanese soldiers enlisted into the Japanese navy, but never considered that they should learn to swim: the option that their vessel would sink never occurred to them: after all their emperor was invincible. They would not even make any moves to get a life preserver when they were under attack: their mind told them that nothing can, nothing could happen to them… and they died by drowning… victims of the mind hiding reality from them.

You are that Japanese soldier, you just don’t know it.
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