The gap… let’s see how to use it to move forward, upward

Yesterday I had a huge whatever it is you call when you end up with cream on your face… cream from a cream pie.

I had been dismayed that my clients aren’t getting the gap, and therefore they don’t present me with real coaching opportunities.

I am intentionally writing this in a self-deprecating way, because I am, I have been humbled.

How? I said: it is easy…

…and then wanted to think of an example, and could not.

WTF? Continue reading “The gap… let’s see how to use it to move forward, upward”

Want to get the most? focus on one thing at a time

If you want to get the most: focus on one thing in a program

In my Friday Podcast with Bonnie this past Friday it became clear that the methodology of using courses, coaching calls, programs is not taught anywhere, so each person feels that they need to make up their own method. Each coach, each participant.

By methodology I mean: how to get the most out of a course, a coaching call, a program.

In this article I’ll teach the most effective way to get the most out of anything. Literally anything you do. Continue reading “Want to get the most? focus on one thing at a time”

The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…

You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.

A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…

Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”

We all have multiple personalities… One is delusional

We all have at least two distinct and recognizable selves that we switch back and forth between.

In this article we’ll look at intelligence, but we could also look at the character, the attitude, the moral fortitude of the selves… but because I look at the world through the frame of smart and stupid, and only secondarily through loyal/disloyal, I’ll write this article on the intelligence level of your two selves.

Now, let me start with a statement: there is nothing wrong with being stupid. As long as you know and embrace that you are stupid. Continue reading “We all have multiple personalities… One is delusional”

How old is your child self that is running your life

What is an adult, what is a child… and does your ego-state (Child, Parent, Adult) influence how much money you have, how much love you have, how healthy you are?

One of the distinctions, fields: what field is this interaction which we learned about a year ago, is closely related to Transactional Analysis ego states… very educational… Continue reading “How old is your child self that is running your life”

What you see… is it reality?

The view is different from the foot of the mountain than from the top

One of the weird thing about humans that they are stuck in their limited view of reality.

They don’t even suspect that there is a different view from different points.

This is why almost every otherwise worthless therapist or coach can cause temporary results… because all they need to learn is to ask you to look a different way, through a different perspective, and voilà… magic happens.

The problem is that when you are left to your own devices, you rarely if ever think to activate the magic. The magic that is magical, but isn’t magic.

Things look different from different perspectives, because that is what perspective means. Duh.

And because your life is given by what you see, if you are stuck, which seems to me is always, all you need to do is change the perspective.

I hardly know anyone who volunteers to do that. Continue reading “What you see… is it reality?”

Coaching that gets results vs. coaching that sounds good

Being a coach sounds easy to you if you have no idea what they are doing, because you have never done it.

You just do what everyone else does, and hope for the best.

A “normal” coach only knows what they learned. Tree of Knowledge. Not worthless, but not authentic. Continue reading “Coaching that gets results vs. coaching that sounds good”

I want to be like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld…

soup nazi no soup for youWhy am I such a Nazi when it comes to who I am willing to work with?

Remember the soup Nazi? Who ran his soup takeout shop like a prison camp? And people lined up and waited patiently to be given soup… that was so good, and so hard to come by, they were willing to earn it… I want to be like the soup Nazi.

Like everyone, my energy is finite. I can’t whip out extra energy at the drop of a hat… I am human. Continue reading “I want to be like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld…”

The Christmas season water story… standing on one foot…

I live in Syracuse, NY. The city is one hour south of Canada. The energy came from the North Pole… or the Arctic Circle? Swept through Canada… and came as far as Syracuse, for sure.

Over the 12 days leading up to Christmas and up till this morning the water energizing method didn’t work. Or more precisely said: the water lost its coherence faster than the energizer could energize… and therefore the people who were drinking the water lost their cell hydration. Me included.

My cell hydration dropped from 70% to 7%.

I hadn’t experienced that, first hand, for a few years now. I saw and felt it from others. But not on myself.

When your cell hydration is low, it is like you are living your life standing and hobbling along on one foot. The slightest force topple you over… or threatens to topple you over. Continue reading “The Christmas season water story… standing on one foot…”

I talk to people a lot… in my head. I have long conversations with them

I am an introvert.

I don’t know what that means… but I know that I talk to people a lot… in my head. I have long conversations with them.

So when I find out that they don’t know about it: I am surprised.

It is nearly impossible to have an authentic conversation with someone after I already had the same conversation WITH THEM in my head.

So many things never get said. Continue reading “I talk to people a lot… in my head. I have long conversations with them”