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What is the number in your starting point measurements that most predicts how effective you are in life?

Theory induced blindness

I like to call the phenomenon of not being able to see what doesn't agree with your theory of life: theory induced blindness. A more popular and better known label for it is "confirmation bias".

You only hear what you agree with. Or more precisely, you only see what you recognize. And you only consider what you recognize as agreeing with your world view.

I see this every day with people who turn to me, who I coach, who I give a free strategy session to.

And I saw this in this video. 1 Continue reading "What is the number in your starting point measurements that most predicts how effective you are in life?"

…And I recoil from dirty laundry…

I should be doing some laundry. I have run out of socks... And anyways, I want to tame this beast of not doing my laundry.

I gather a load's worth of stuff, carry it to the washing machine... and the distaste, the disgust is so strong... I take a beeline... and sit down by my computer.

Distaste, eh? Yeah, says muscle test. Disgust? yes. Was it always there? No. Was it from when i was 3? later... from age seven.

What was happening at age seven? I went to school. We had a live-in help: my mother was working on her Masters Degree, coming home around nine every night. My brother was about a year old... and was probably driving the live-in help bonkers.

And I recoil from dirty laundry...

I sit really quietly. The fear joins the distaste. I feel terror. I feel being beaten. Screamed at. Wrapped in wet sheets... Can't breathe...

I must have wet my bed. I don't remember. My body remembers. The fear, the disgust, the gagging.

The body remembers.
Continue reading "…And I recoil from dirty laundry…"

When you are afraid… what is there to do?

I am doing a business project with my brand spanking new coach... and...

As it was predictable, this is my fourth day only, I already got to a place, where fear is coming up.

I am glad, because I am so rarely afraid. This will give me an opportunity to notice something Tree of Life for my scaredy cat clients and students.

So I am afraid. IT, the voice, is whispering sweet nothings into my ear, lol. "It's not important." "You are already fine." "What if you lose all the money you've made?" "he doesn't know..." Continue reading "When you are afraid… what is there to do?"

Do you feel responsible for what others say about you? The savior racket

Soul correction, responsibility, what is yours and what is not

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: what others think about me is none of my business.

For most this is the hardest thing to learn. Continue reading "Do you feel responsible for what others say about you? The savior racket"

Returning to the fork in the road where you took a wrong turn

If you find yourself on the wrong road... trace your way back to where you went astray... and choose a different road.

Why? Because trying to go across to where you really wanted to go, without going back,  is fraught with death traps.

Humanity, some seven thousand years ago, took a wrong turn. In just a few words: they started to replace reality with word pictures in the mind. Concepts.

This took us to where we are now: not a pretty place. Any and every human is afflicted: no one is exempt.

An "avatar's" job is to take you backwards so you can find your way from there... They have to have earned the right... by going back personally, backtracking themselves.

Most teachers try to cut across... oh the Buddhist, oh the Zen, oh the blah blah... they must know what they are talking about... b.s.

Maybe they know, maybe they don't. But you haven't done the journey back, so you are a second-hander at best, so shut the f... up!
Continue reading "Returning to the fork in the road where you took a wrong turn"

Updated… or what does Freecell and the Groundhog day have in common?

One of the reasons you don't grow, is because the nature of time is that it goes one way. Forward. It doesn't stop, it doesn't go backwards, and mistakes are mistakes made.

But we, humans, are equipped with a brain that is able to model, replay, and practice, to turn mistakes into learning. Through repetition, or through thought experiments. But either way: being awake... And that is the first thing that's missing... being awake.

I bet you haven't taken advantage of that.

One huge insight I had when I realized that the version of Freecell I have on my newer computers is the type where you can undo many steps... or even go back to the beginning and do it again. Continue reading "Updated… or what does Freecell and the Groundhog day have in common?"

I want to be like the Soup Nazi

Why am I such a Nazi when it comes to who I am willing to work with?

Remember the soup Nazi? Who ran his soup takeout shop like a prison camp? And people lined up and waited patiently to be given soup... that was so good, and so hard to come by, they were willing to earn it... I want to be like the soup Nazi.

Like everyone, my energy is finite. I can't whip out extra at the drop of a hat... I am human. Continue reading "I want to be like the Soup Nazi"

The narrative… the story that creates who you are

The narrative 2

A student of mine, after listening to my last Sunday call recording, asked why Jews turned to a different strategy than the slaves from Africa. Or Native Americans. Continue reading "The narrative… the story that creates who you are"

Why I stopped participating in Landmark Education?

the four core enforced by booksActually, I continued to participate after the incident I'll tell you about... but NEVER intended to contribute any more. Or not really. I was participating from hurt... knowing that what was broken cannot be fixed.

18 years ago, as I was coaching someone, it because clear to me that there are this core invisibles, that are underneath every issue, every distinction, every weird, unethical, unsavory action a human being makes.

Even though the distinction that there is a broadcast going on that everyone hears and everyone tunes into some of it, part of it, the part that feels relevant to what is going on for them.

I remember, it was 1991, and I drove home after the session, and heard the broadcast that sounded like very radio station playing on the same wave length... and yet I could pick out the part that was hand in glove match to what was going on in my life... I was in love with a married man at the time... and everything relevant to that was playing for me. Continue reading "Why I stopped participating in Landmark Education?"

Your behavior is always consistent with what you see… All your mistakes come from here…

Your behavior is always consistent with what you see.

And what you see depends 100% of your available capacities.

You don't even look... because you know what is there... you know there is nothing to see.

The difference between a blind person and you is that the blind person knows she cannot see.

Why can't you see? For two reasons: Continue reading "Your behavior is always consistent with what you see… All your mistakes come from here…"