What is the most important skill to develop and keep using, daily, if you want to live a life you love?

We live as if things never changed. Even though we hear, read, that the only thing that is constant in life is change.

And yet, our minds, the machine-like part of us that cannot learn, won’t learn, and fancies itself YOU… our minds tell us, moment to moment, that life will remain the way it is in that moment.

Is that crazy or what?

  • When something bad happens, the reaction is not to the bad thing, but to the idea that the results of the bad thing are life-long.
  • When something good happens, the reaction is not to the good thing. It is to the idea, to the notion, to the certainty, that the good thing will last a lifetime.
  • When you are well… you are sure you’ll be always well. When you feel sick, you are sure that unless you fix it, you’ll never feel good again. Gloom and doom, or yippee… all is wonderful. The roller coaster, I call it.

So in light of this behavior of the mind: what is the most important skill? Continue reading “What is the most important skill to develop and keep using, daily, if you want to live a life you love?”

The biggest reason you are stuck… on a plateau or in a ditch, but stuck nevertheless

stuck on a plateauRegardless of what you do, how you do it, how good or bad your life is… you are always stuck… Stuck in some deep bad place, or stuck on a plateau… stuck is stuck.

So learning what keeps you stuck and how to unstuck yourself, at will, is one of the most important things you can do… and the sooner the better. Because being stuck is not fun.

Cognitive biases, those knee jerk reaction tiny pieces of automatic responses, are at the root of your misery.
Continue reading “The biggest reason you are stuck… on a plateau or in a ditch, but stuck nevertheless”

Do you know enough?

iStock_000014937781XSmall-300x223If you didn’t ask… “Know Enough For what?!” then you can consider that you are trapped, at the moment, by the question in the title.

That was the purpose of the title, by the way. To trap you.

While you read your article, to get the most out of it, allow yourself to find yourself in my experience, instead of agree or not agree… OK?

Every person with a mind (that is every person alive!) moves back and forth on a continuum (scale) of knowing enough or not knowing enough… Some days you feel you know everything, on others you feel you know nothing.
Continue reading “Do you know enough?”

Reverse the meaning, flip the context of your most traumatic incident

upside down contextOne of the transformational moves I use with my students is “flipping the context.”

Context is decisive, and the context inside which you live your life is what makes your life great or horrible… not what happens to you.

Here is an example of flipping the context from my favorite horoscope writer, Rob Brezsny:
Continue reading “Reverse the meaning, flip the context of your most traumatic incident”