You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.
A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…
Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”
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Humans have a dual nature, a dual nature that is the enemy of growth, enemy of learning, enemy to the survival of the species…
Arrogance and pride…
Arrogance is duality itself.
- It says, on one hand: I already know. I know. I am beyond that.
- On the other hand: OMG, I am so stupid. I make so many mistakes. I better slow down, and not be so sure.
We call the arrogant side “it” in this article. And it talks. And it knows. And it pontificates…
What “it” says it knows? It knows everything. It knows if it is worth it to listen, if it is worth for you to do. It knows if you can. It knows the future, the past, what it all means, what it doesn’t mean, what it’s all about, what is important and what isn’t. Continue reading “Spiritual Arrogance”
Every learning is becoming. Every action that is aimed at learning but doesn’t lead to becoming… is not learning, it is just a pretense. Treading water. The drift.
But becoming is not easy, and it takes longer than you would expect. OK, longer than I expect. Longer than I have been expecting… 🙁
Why? because some of the learning requires you to be “right there”, ready for that particular learning. You first need to become ready. Continue reading “Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%”
These should be frequently asked questions, and yet no one asks these questions, as a rule
I am continuing the practice of giving free strategy sessions to people who buy the Starting Point Measurements.
It’s work for me. It’s hard on my body having to be with their resistance, fear, or whatever they are feeling. It’s often talking to people whom, in normal circumstances, I would avoid. Why? Because they are argumentative, because they are often hostile, and because only one in 13 knows that I am an empath, what is an empath, and how I got to the measurements I got to. So they never did any work on knowing what they are paying for.
So, it’s hard. And yet. Sitting in my ivory tower is not useful any more.
Each person brings something to light I would not have otherwise seen.
For example a person yesterday. Soul correction “Finish What You Start”… I have other people with this soul correction, and they are argumentative. But I never realized that this is part of this soul correction. Arguing is a type of resistance: you block input and you put yourself in control… I don’t do well with people who argue. They, intentionally, put me on the defensive, and I have nothing to defend…
So for this learning I am grateful. I don’t work well with this type of soul correction… with this type of attitude.
The second thing I learned from this person is through a question he asked:
How come that I am still doing so poorly after I have invested so much into spiritual teaching?
Continue reading “You have invested so much into spiritual teaching!”
Every generation is more entitled than the previous one. Why? Let me explain…
If appreciative is the opposite of entitled… does that mean that all those people who are not appreciative are entitled?
Entitled is a worldview. It is a ground-of-being phenomenon, invisible, like the floor. An unexamined truth. To you. But for the other, it is quite obvious…
So how do you know that you are not appreciative? that you are entitled?
This is how:
- Even when you thank someone, they frown…
- You may even be diligent in thanking someone, you may even feel a stab of thankfulness, but those thanks are the waves on the waters, not the bottom of the sea… The bottom of your sea is entitlement.
Continue reading “What is the opposite of entitled?”
What is an adult, what is a child… and does your ego-state (Child, Parent, Adult) influence how much money you have, how much love you have, how healthy you are?
In the starting point measurements I measure (#19) To what degree you have access to your adult capacities. or asked in another way, how much does your adult run your life? The more adult the more results…
And how much is the child running your life, how much is it running your life to the ground?
Continue reading “How old is your child self that is running your life to the ground?”
I am an introvert.
I don’t know what that means… but I know that I talk to people a lot… in my head. I have long conversations with them.
So when I find out that they don’t know about it: I am surprised.
It is nearly impossible to have an authentic conversation with someone after I already had the same conversation WITH THEM in my head.
So many things never get said. Continue reading “I talk to people a lot… in my head. I have long conversations with them”
Before i say anything else, all the illustrations about negative energy, negativity I use in this post are b.s. and harmful… The Hungarian Christmas pictures… I remember being a child…
Yesterday I was on a group coaching call where a so-called energy practitioner got some marketing advice while others, including me, listened in.
She was discussing her marketing to sell her almost a thousand dollar course on clearing negative energy.
I have to admit that I have never sold a course for that much money. Never even thought I could. Never even thought it would be fair…
I spent the day after that call not wanting to do anything. Not even walk… lol. That is so rare, it is worth mentioning.
I slept well, I am taping my mouth shut again and I sleep a lot better.
I woke up somewhat revitalized and invigorated… = revigorated.
What do I mean revigorated?
Your first sign of getting dead is having less or no question. Continue reading “What is the negative energy you are trying to eliminate? The energy that blocks you?”
Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…
… if you are willing to look and see what is so about you and your life.
The truth. Naked. Ugly. Often shameful.
Here is a correspondence I had with a client today:
She said: “I’m interested in changing my context since it’s part of what keeps me stuck.”
“… answering the questions: what am I doing? Why am I doing it?
Unless you have done the work of identifying what you have been doing, and why you have been doing it, no way you can shift the context. You cannot catch what you can’t see. And you cannot change what you can’t catch.” Continue reading “Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…”
For decades one of my sore spots was that people refused to serve me, even though I paid them.
I remember saying to myself: my money is not good enough for you? and wept.
I had no idea how I “accomplished” that… in 20/20 hindsight it is still a little spotty.
What wasn’t clear to me, never even occurred to me, how my attitude effected the service provider. My “To what degree you think of yourself:” starting point measure was, at the time, 70%. From my behavior I would have guessed it was higher.
Mainly I overrode what they said. I argued, I knew better, I acted with contempt…
What I didn’t know then is that being a service provider needs to be a win, or no service.
A customer who is not happy is a drag on an provider, and not worth the little (or even a lot of) money they pay.
I was that kind of customer…
Continue reading “Should you become a client? Would I even accept you as a client?”