Emotional toughness, resilience can help you getting there

emotional resilience toughness high TLBDo you hate to learn new things because every time you do, it somehow tells you that you have been wrong? Or not enough? Not good enough?

Well, toughen up princess…

But otherwise it’s normal. I know.

As a child I lived across the street from my elementary school.

I was nearly seven when I went to school, I was born September 4. My mother held me back because I was so tiny. My brother was two years older.

On the first day of school… Continue reading “Emotional toughness, resilience can help you getting there”

Confession Video?

dance is divine. live your life like a danceYesterday I was on a zoom training with a known videographer. He gave an assignment to us, participants, to make a five-minute ‘confession video’ of why we do what we do, being vulnerable, authentic, and firm in the declaration of the intention for what we do. Each their own… not as a group.

The call was in the evening, so I spent all my dreams pondering where was the point where I became who I am today… and what furnace did I come through to be that…

I participated in Landmark (formerly est training) for 26 years when I first decided that maybe it is my job to take Landmark’s teaching further.

I had offered myself to Landmark and was rejected several times. They needed straight delivery people, not thinkers. In spite of the rejections I never lost the confidence that I have what it takes to take Landmark’s work further, make it more accessible and more implementable, so it could make more difference in people’s results and sense of self.

But where was the turning point, where was the hero’s journey? Continue reading “Confession Video?”

Empty The Future or else…

empty clearing the futureI read this article ten years ago… and saved it. The truth value is somewhat ‘high’… 10%… the average article has only 7% truth value on the internet.

I’ll put the article in the footnotes… so you can read it…

What is true in this article? the concept that you need to remove everything that is in your path to achieving what you want to achieve. That it is your job. But the nature of the obstacles: it is sorrily off. 1

So 1. what are the obstacles and 2. what is the process of clearing them? Continue reading “Empty The Future or else…”

Astuteness? Nah, You are making Decisions Emotionally?

emotional decisionsI wrote this article about making decisions emotionally back in 2013… and reading it was amazing: I actually now see how far I have come…

OK, here is the original article:

You are not stupid, you are just making your decisions emotionally

‘If you want to live with the masses, think emotionally. If you want to live with the middle class, think positively. If you want live with the world class, think critically.’ –Steve Siebold

I have been impulsive and hasty as long as I can remember. And I have known myself, by my results, stupid, stupid as the stupid does, as long as I remember.

My results in any endeavor, any relationship, and the business of life have been anything but stellar. Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

The past 4-5 years I have been paying attention, but bad habits die slowly or never, and I am, for the most part, behaving the same way as I behaved all my life, hasty moves, jumping into conclusions, only to discover moments or days later that I didn’t look before I leaped.

I wish I were flawless, but then I would be useless as a teacher: when you are effortlessly good at something, then you can’t teach it: you have no distinctions in the area of your expertise. Only when you can go, through your own awareness, from bad to good, that you have something useful to offer to the world that wants to follow you.

This is the main issue, by the way, with many of the famed and revered teachers, like Osho or Eckhart Tolle. They are really nice to read, very nurturing, but impossible to follow. Because they never went from where you are to where they are… they somehow found themselves there, using none of their own effort.
Continue reading “Astuteness? Nah, You are making Decisions Emotionally?”

Are you talented? Is talent wasted on you?

are you talented?This morning I have been experiencing an emotional roller coaster… as I am cycling through tens of people as I accidentally connect to them. Some gurus, Murakami, his wife, a marketing guru, my next door neighbor, my brother, some students, a site visitor from Hungary, my architecture school friend.

I can feel my face, my mouth… and I can recognize the micro expressions and identify them.

And then, of course, the emotions of my own reaction to their internal state… judgment, compassion, pity, sympathy…

I could write an article, a whole article, about each of them, but I’ll write about a word that screwed up countless lives… and probably still is.

As you know, a large period of my life I was an architect. Architecture school, in Hungary, is something you choose after high school, and it’s a five year study, every person takes the exact same classes.

The favorite or dreaded word of an architecture student was ‘talented’ or ‘not talented’.
Continue reading “Are you talented? Is talent wasted on you?”

Inner Authority… What is it? A superpower?

Inner Authority is superpowerInner Authority… What is it? A superpower?

Or is it fake certainty? Is it even something that can be taught? Activated?

In this article I’ll give you a few ways Inner Authority can work, and Inner Authority could change your life… if you had it.

Oops…

You have it… but it is like a superpower that you don’t even know you have, because no one has taught you how to use it.

Inner Authority is, overall, an experience, an experience of what you feel without it being made foggy or false by words.

It is wordless. Continue reading “Inner Authority… What is it? A superpower?”

It’s completely predictable. It always happens without fail.

predictableIt wasn’t always… It is getting worse… In my generation, in my country of origin… in my ethnicity it wasn’t predictable…

But America… it is. In California: it is. In the South: it is. In New York: it isn’t. In England: it isn’t. In South Africa: it isn’t. In Canada: it is.

What is it? What is that predictable thing?
Continue reading “It’s completely predictable. It always happens without fail.”

The Inner Authority that you don’t have but could…

inner authorityIt’s been stormy here. Lots of rain. The other night a warning went out: a tornado was poised to touch down in Central New York: not a tornado area.

Reality.

Nothing is wrong: as long as reality works the way reality works, all is well… even if it rains on your parade, even if you hate doing your morning walk trudging through mud, even if you are not prepared like I wasn’t. Continue reading “The Inner Authority that you don’t have but could…”

Inner authority?

outer pressure to inner authorityI define someone who has that, Inner Authority, is this: they don’t need an outside force to entice them or to threaten them with some kind of punishment or doom to do what they have to do to get things done.

So, the year was 1987, and it was the end of an 8-year run of a good mixture where you could see what I am talking about.

In those years I worked as an architect in three countries.

Worked but wasn’t productive. There was no joy there. I wasn’t joyful, even though there were, here and there, interesting projects, but i wasn’t able to enjoy them.

There were as long as year long stretches where I literally suffered because I just didn’t want to do what i had to do, needed to do, wanted to do to survive, things I should have done. I was sluggish, heavy, and totally unmotivated. Continue reading “Inner authority?”

The chip on your shoulder — taking it off and keeping it off

As I am preparing to lead the Inner Authority Course, I see the need to dig deeper and deeper into the morass of human misery so that I can dig you out of there. I have tools, but I want more. And more. And more.

It is not about getting myself out of misery: I am already 70% “clear” of misery… and that is a blissful place, but it took me 34 years, so far, and I don’t know many people who are willing to work on themselves that long… I did it because I was soooo miserable. Continue reading “The chip on your shoulder — taking it off and keeping it off”