The art of being heard, being known the right way
On one of the webinars the topic was “Not being heard… Being misunderstood”
Every person on the call had at least one painful childhood incident where their speaking wasn’t getting for them what they intended to get, instead their speaking was earning them grief and heart ache.
They wanted appreciation, understanding, equality, or love, validation, significance, or at least agreement.
When something doesn’t work, one would expect, next time you’ll try something different. But no… in real life it seems that the more something doesn’t work, the more you, humans are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
When we looked, each and every one of us were repeating and repeating and repeating the incident in our lives, the same way, expecting a different result. Insanity, right? Continue reading “Are you always misjudged, misunderstood, or mistreated? No one can see how bright you are?”
We tend to look at the world in black and white terms. This or the opposite…
You and me…
But often what you think is the opposite is not…
My current favorite book, 46 rules of Genius, says:
“Rule 24 (of Genius)
“People tend to view simplicity and complexity as opposites. But this isn’t strictly true. The enemy of simplicity isn’t complexity, but disorder. And the enemy of complexity is also disorder.
- While complexity seeks order through addition,
- simplicity seeks order through subtraction.
Continue reading “Simplicity… Elegance… Coherence… Ask a different question…”
The world is mundane. Ordinary. At least through ordinary eyes. It is just the way it is.
Some people see beauty, some people see truth, some people see goodness, but for the most part you see reasons to justify why you only trudge through life, never really seeing any poetry, any romance, anything really uplifting.
The Beyond, The Divine, The “Spirit” gets through to you through one of those, truth, beauty, goodness, and how you know it got to you because something echoes in your Soul.
You cry, you laugh, you shut up… words don’t come close to express it.
When I work with people on their life’s purpose, on the meaning of their lives, especially when I do it in a private call, I need to work a lot.
When I speak your purpose, as I see it, I hear you being hooked, being moved. Then you get off the call, and turn it into mundane… money, sex, or such other stuff, that makes life and you stuck in the mud. Continue reading “A life worth living: What does poetry have to do with it?”
The opposite of Life is a conversation is you living in a world of object, being an object. An object. Ugh. I don’t want to be an object. But if you look, you ARE treated as an object, by nearly everyone nearly all the time.
People don’t look at YOU, they look at your body, your clothes, your hair… but not YOU.
I participated in a week long training some years ago, and the slogan of the training was “I see you”. And I remember people getting teared up from hearing that.
That is the human condition: people tearing up when they are seen as a person, as an individual… as opposed to the norm: seen as an object to use, to abuse, to blame, to push around. Continue reading “Heaven or hell… same place, same people… the difference is your self-talk”
What are you building with that?
This question was my absolute favorite in Landmark Education’s Communication Course…
I have tried to ask it of people outside of Landmark, and the answers I always got was puzzled silence.
So, what am I asking here?
Well, you are always building something. A more popular but less precise way of saying the same thing: you are always creating something… creating yourself, creating your life, every moment. Continue reading “What are you building with that?”
I am re-reading Atlas Shrugged.
When the first two times I read it, I knew it was very important, but an essential aspect was missing for me, an aspect I just got a week or so ago.
This aspect, the difference between ambition and desire, that goes, hand in hand, with the other pairs, producer vs second hander, vertical plane existence vs horizontal plane.
In some way also but not 100%, “living a life worth living, the investor mentality” vs. “YOLO, take as much as you can, because tomorrow may not come.”
I am a little weepy, please forgive me. It’s taken for me a long time to get to this clarity.
It’s been only a few days that I have started measuring Ambition as part of my Starting Point Measurements, and I have, so far, had surprises, small and big, pleasant and unpleasant. Continue reading “Beyond the horizontal, ambition, desire… let’s see if we can make it all clear”
I have written about it, I have even quoted Lao Tsu: Because of great love one is courageous.
But if the fundamental understanding of life is missing, said in another way, if life is fundamentally misunderstood, then that quote is misunderstood.
We, humans, have that love is something you feel for another person. Or for ice cream… more often, lol.
But what if the love Lao Tsu is talking about (I don’t know, he died too long ago) is something entirely different?
Continue reading “On courage… just one of the profound misunderstandings of humanity”